The other day i was in my daughter's room (tidying up as usual) when i came across a pck of condoms in her desk drawer. One or two were missing and I know she has a boyfriend and is rather 'promiscuos' for her age, thought i have never talked about it wither her. Should i confront her? What would i say?
2007-01-08 12:47:40 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
You've never talked about sex with your 14yr old daughter?
Take her to an obgyn (planned parenthood would do) and discuss birth control, STDs and everything that goes along with it.
Most schools do not teach about safe sex because abstinence-only programs get govt. money.
2007-01-08 12:52:25 · answer #1 · answered by iampatsajak 7 · 9⤊ 0⤋
I think you should really have a talk with her. As I'm sure you know, 14 is way too young to be having sex. It's good that she is possibly using condoms if she is having sex though. If she won't talk to you about it then maybe make her an appointment to see a gynecologist. She can talk to the doctor that way and although you won't know what's going on at least she'll have some good information and learn about what having sex really means. And since she is only 14 maybe you could limit the amount of "alone" time she and the boyfriend have.
2007-01-08 12:59:07 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs_M 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would not say CONFRONT her. Mabey take her out and talk to here. Make it special. But dont seem mad aobut it. Think of it this way if she doing it aleast it safe( the missing condoms) I would also talk to her aobut birth control dont want her getting pregnent. I know that 14 is very young but if she is doing it you want it to be safe right. But explain to here that sex is ment for two people that are in Love its a very special thing and should not be taken lightly. And that just because other kids do it she does not have to. And if a boy says he wont like her for not doing it that hes not worth it. Be very open and honest about it with her. Good luck!
2007-01-08 12:59:53 · answer #3 · answered by coliepollie22 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually, you and most parents today are about 10-12 years to late. We need to be talking to our children factually using correct terminology from the first time they point and ask "what's that?"
As parents we can't teach what we were never taught. So, you and your daughter need to learn together and trust together. She will not trust you if you don't trust her. Go and learn together from you family doctor or OBGYN.
Once kids become sexually active they are not going to stop. They will only be more responsible if they can develop a healthy self esteem and a relationship with their parents.
Go to the library, to planned parenthood, to the doctor, not to the school because they teach the Republican Bush plan of abstinence only- which has been proven to only delay sexual activity for 12-18 months - what a crock of you know what that our taxes are paying for.
Anyway, be the MOM you need and can be.
Good luck
2007-01-08 14:00:21 · answer #4 · answered by Slow To Anger 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to sit down and have a conservation with your daughter about sex. Especially, if she has a boyfriend. Try to be honest with her about how you feel about sex at her age and what are the responsibilities that comes with it. Try to encourage her to open up to you and let her tell you in her own words if she is sexually active. Do not make an assumption that she is.
Being a parent is very hard. I have a 14 years old daughter myself and understands where you come from.
Good luck
2007-01-08 13:06:15 · answer #5 · answered by solitude 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave them out somewhere in her room, where she will know you found them. Give it a couple days. If she doesn't come to you, go to her. And talk, talk, talk... Like a friend/mother, don't get angry & remember there is no such thing as a stupid question... Be as honest & upfront as possible. She should know what responsibilities come with having sex; regular dr. appointments, STD checks (because she is not married or committed to just 1 person) birth control... Make talking with her about these subjects a regular thing then it wont be as awkward, & she will be more likely to come to you. You also do NOT have to support this behavior... Set boundries & clear, consistant consiquences. I wish you luck!
2007-01-09 07:29:32 · answer #6 · answered by Boppysgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you allowing her to date at this age? She's too young to date, so I suggest nixing the dates and start monitoring her activities. Don't just assume she is with friends. Keep in contact with her friends' parents to make sure they are where they say they are. You'll have to keep on your toes, but it can be done. YOU are the parent, remember that. It may take some tough love to put up with her attitude when you curb her activities, but if it were me, I'd do it.
Talk to your daughter about sex. I hope she will realize that she isn't emotionally ready at age 14 for this. Maybe you'd better tell your husband too so he can have a man-to-man "talk" with the so-called boyfriend.
2007-01-08 15:01:22 · answer #7 · answered by TPhi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you confront her about it, she's only going to back away from you because in her eyes you went through her things and invaded her privacy (even though technically you didn't mean to). i'm glad she's at least being responsible and using protection, however i do think she needs to realize that getting involved with someone sexually at such a young age can become difficult. maybe try talking to her in a way that doesn't reveal what you found, but lets her know that sex is a big step and maybe she's not as ready as she might think? also you can try to raise awareness of sti's and pregnancy by mentioning it to your daughter if you see something in the news or in the paper. this way its not a direct "attack" and maybe she won't reject your input. good luck!
2007-01-08 13:19:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 17 now and had sex with my bf when i was 15, first of all be happy she is using condoms, so she isn't stupid. Don't yell at her cuz she will just get distant, and you should also think sbout putting her on birth control pills or something. i know whyyou are stressing cos my mom was doing the same thing at her age but i was stupid and didnt use any protection and fell pregnet and i had no support from any one in my family but my bf has been there the hole time and now my family are realy supportive on my self and my little girl and i know why they did it all now i understand why big time Good Luck
2007-01-08 23:32:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
this can no longer be the worst ingredient contained in the international. I do not ignore that as a figure it truly is annoying, yet try now to not get over excited. basically because she become making out contained in the flicks does no longer advise she is sexually energetic. I made out with a boy lengthy in the previous I had sex. i comprehend it truly is scary to imagine about your little woman doing this stuff, in spite of the undeniable fact that the way you attitude the verbal change consisting of her will impact how she talks to you. If she will be able to take heed to on your voice that you're disapproving, she will be able to lie to you. it really is going to be a project, yet you may flow the verbal change impartial and with a favor to communicate. you may be open to the reality to verify that her to be straightforward with you. The more effective open you're, the more effective open she will be able to be, and the more effective useful you are able to be sure that she's being chance-free and real to herself.
2016-12-28 11:50:15 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, u should, u should ask her ur question, like y does she have a pack of condoms, and has she been having sex? u know questions u want to know
and do u know that even with condoms and birth control pills there is still a very low chance of her getting pregnant, i've heard stories from people in here about it
2007-01-08 13:05:13 · answer #11 · answered by burning ice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋