i am 38 male and have had gay fantasies since i was 15 why would i have these if i look at girls all the time?

Question

i recently broke up with my girlfriend and think of gay sex alot even though i dont want it. I look at girls alot still and hope to meet a girl soon to get to know. but why the constant thought about being gay all the time?

Answer 1

Well it depends when you get these fantasies. Are you getting these fantasies while masturbating? Having sex? or just sitting there fantasing? When you are fantising do you then get erections? If you are having a sexual reaction to these fantisies then there is a chance that you might be gay/bi. If no what kind of relationship did/do you have with your father/brothers/male figures? You might be lacking male effection. Most men won't admit it but boy/men need men effection. It usually is not being shown in the typical definition of effection. They need a combination of both manly man influence and sensitive man influences. (Example: Father rough houseing with you, Kissing you good night before you go to bed). It usually don't last past a certain age but it is important for the first (atleast) 7 years of childhood. That also helps with developing your self as a man. If a father is over bearing with one rather than the other the oppsite effect might occur. If you father is too manly man you might reble and be a sensitive guy or a gay/bi guy (not saying sensitive guys are gay- okay!) But if you father is too sensitive or gay/bi you might find yourself to be a homophobic man or an extra stern manly man.

If it happens to me lack of male effection the only thing you can do is deal with those demons. If you are unable to do it by yourself seek a psyciatric help. The will walk you through the step to help you deal. If the fantasies don't bother you then there is nothing wrong with having them then.

Good Luck to finding your answer!

Answer 2

You know what? Your question made me think about the fact that we don't know what is "normal" when it comes to sexual fantasies. We don't know what kinds of thoughts go through the minds of other heterosexual men. We don't know if other heterosexual men have gay fantasies, nor how often they have those fantasies.

But anyway, I would think that you probably DO desire gay sex but perhaps you consciously don't want to admit it to your own self. Perhaps you were brought up to think that homosexuality is "wrong". Perhaps you don't like the idea of thinking of yourself as gay. Or perhaps as others have said, you might be bisexual.

The only person who can determine what is best for you in this situation is you yourself. I wish you luck.

Answer 3

we all got phobias lmao, i like mine better though, unless................
naw dude i deal with this. rationalization says if you dont have a girl on your arm you must be, but hey be irrational. i believe if i die alone im dead str8.
if you think your gay, go for it, atleast someone is getting some! but hey i look at the things i did like hang with the guys, and when i looked it didnt seem right not at all. guys getting together for a social life,hmmmmmmm. nothing wrong with a friend, but ive been flying or jackhammering 6 of 7 yrs solo, and believe me its worse when you look and realize your so shy that guys are all you know.(ok darnit, im girlcrazy and get like wierd until the ice is broken)

i seen it as this. i looked at all the mustaches around and realized it was because i was fighting to stay a child, so i went the other way somewhat.
you are different from me! being gay is a choice, its a preference as well as an attraction. tell me fabio with a bleeding nose from the big bird didnt get you giggly(sorry im kinda normal and homely)
if you dont have a lab coat, it dont even count as experimentation, just dont tell me, im homophobic for other reasons.

Answer 4

It would seem like your bi-sexual.

Or maybe your homosexual. why u ask?
Maybe you surpress your male attraction. You state that you're 38. You married? If not, your relationships are crashing for some reason. You break up all your relationships? If you do, I would slide with your a homosexual or more homosexual than heterosexual.

Answer 5

It sounds to me like you may have been suppressing some desires to be sexually active with men. It doesn't necessarily mean that you are gay, but you may be bisexual, and just didn't come to terms with it yet.

Answer 6

Perhaps you are bisexual? I'm no expert by any means, but that's the only thing I can think of. Bottom line is the only one who knows the answer is you.

Answer 7

If your hetero that stuff stops in your early 20's at the latest.
Do what feels good.

Answer 8

that sounds bisexual. just don't hide from your true self. don't pretend to be someone thing you're not, that's possibly the worst thing you can do to yourself [in my opinion]. if you want a boyfriend, go ahead :] yea i know, it's hard to figure out what it is exactly you want.

Answer 9

Try it out ... you may be truly gay or perhaps bi.

Answer 10

Sounds like you might be bi