He is looking for something... and I am not doing anything wrong or cheating or anything like that.
2007-01-08 12:45:37 · 24 answers · asked by its me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel ABUSED because he is sneeky about it then becomes passive agressive about what he finds.
i locked my phone and computer and now he is even more passive agressive
2007-01-08 14:18:05 · update #1
Sounds like a control freak. It's not abuse, but it certainly could lead to it if he finds something that's not familiar. It sounds like it's time you two had a talk...
2007-01-08 12:50:01 · answer #1 · answered by mjatthebeeb 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No it's not abuse. "Abuse" is the new fad word that almost all disgruntled wives seem to latch on to because they think that will make everyone side with them. Calling this "abuse" lessens the term for the poor women that actually have to endure this fate. You owe them an apology for such casually thrown use of this term. You obviously have made up your mind to sooner or later leave your husband. This labeling of men with this word is the beginning of the end of a relationship. It's sad to think that yours is doomed. Wish you had more understanding of men, trust, love, and life!
2007-01-08 13:00:33 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
depends. why does it bother you? my husband does the same freaking thing. but i'm not hiding anything. so he can look. he can look 10 times a day. he still won't find anything. cuz i am not doing anything wrong.
because he has a history of cheating on a girlfriend in the past and i also have a history of cheating on a boyfriend, i let this glitch past. karma i figure.
but no, it's not abuse. does he know that you know he's looking? or is he hiding it?
2007-01-08 12:53:23 · answer #3 · answered by Bella 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've done something to spark a trust issue. Yes, it is abusive (emtional) because he isn't trusting you. You need to stop being girly about it (damn those stupid emtions!!) And get to the bottom of it. If he keeps making excuses like "I look because you are doing something funny", then this is not a good relationship and leave.
But if he gives a real reason like
"You have been focusing all your attention to your phone and I am insecure and what to know who you are talking to, and what to fix this" then you need to listen without getting b itchy...
2007-01-08 12:58:51 · answer #4 · answered by Pandora 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes! He needs help. You married an insecure jealous child. You shouldn't have to live that way. You're a human being and entitled to privacy and autonomy. Lock your phone and change your e-mail pass word. When he starts to pressure you and I guarntee you he will don't give in.
Luck
2007-01-08 13:40:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Perhaps he suffers from some insecurities and you can help him with these. If he consistently finds nothing, sooner or later he will realize he can trust you and will stop looking. In the meantime, humor him.
By the way, look up the word abuse...you're not using it in the right context.
2007-01-08 13:17:32 · answer #6 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't abuse. It is insecurity. If you are not doing anything wrong then let him have at it. If you have nothing to hide then who cares? Ask him what you can do to ease his insecurities. Abuse is something that should not be freely thrown around just because you are annoyed at something. That word is worn out.
2007-01-08 12:51:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Generally cell records and emails would be considered private information. If the cell phone or email accounts were shared between people or contained business information, they would be considered public.
If these are your private accounts and you have made known that you want them kept private, anyone who insisted on looking at them would be considered disrespectful of your privacy and crossing your personal boundary. If your personal boundaries were constantly being disregarded, yes, it would be a form of emotional abuse.
Both sides should set down rules and boundaries and hold to them.
Good Luck!
C-F
2007-01-08 12:54:33 · answer #8 · answered by Crispy_Frog 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it's abuse but just a privacy issue. Have you done something in the past that makes him not trust you? Just talk to him about it and be open and honest!
2007-01-08 12:50:34 · answer #9 · answered by TTC Cycle#20 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not sure on abuse,but, it is an invasion of your privacy. He has trust issues, you both need to sit down and talk this out before it gets out of hand.
2007-01-08 12:51:21 · answer #10 · answered by nuttin'fancy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't call it abuse, but it doesn't sound like a healthy marriage. Does he do drugs? Coke/crack? Should he be on meds he's not taking? My ex started this. If I talked to a guy, I was "doing" him. He followed me at work. It went from paranoid & controlling to physcial abuse. Be careful!
2007-01-08 12:55:23 · answer #11 · answered by shermynewstart 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋