friends..or not?

Question

i've talk to my friend 3 times about our friendship about how she kepes hurting my feelings but she doesn't get it and she always gets mad at me...should i keep being her friend? we use to be best friends.. like no1 could split us up..

Answer 1

I think sometimes it takes a long time and many attempts to actually make someone understand how you feel about something. Also people are sometimes defensive when you point out to them something that is wrong or hurtful. Sometimes how we approach a subject can seem to put them on the defense and then they don't really hear what we are trying to say. Also there is the possibility that she may be going through something that is really hard - sometimes that makes us behave badly for awhile, though we don't want to.

Ultimately we cannot change another person or their behavior. All we can do is share how something makes us feel. If that person does not respond in a way that we can live with then the ball is back in our court. You have to make a decision. Are you willing to accept things the way they are and be her friend? Are you going to not accept the way she acts towards you and no longer be her friend? Or are you going to be somewhere in the middle - keeping your distance a bit, maybe not so close of a friend?

If it were me I would choose the last one. It leaves the option of restoring the friendship to its former greatness at a later date, but makes it clear that you will not stand to be treated disrespectfully. Good luck to you - this whole relationship thing has its challenges... but it is worth it when you find a really good friend.

Answer 2

I think you have already know the answer to that question. A real friend would not hurt their best friend's feelings and that is not your best friend. Maybe it Willl be hard for you to believe that you guys wil not be friends anymore but people change and so do friends.There are other people out there that you haven't met yet and there may be someone there that is wiling to be your friend, you just got to be patient.

Answer 3

My experience is that people get angry when you confront them because deep inside, they know their have behaved badly and don't want to own up to it. She is being rude to quiet you, but your feelings are always valid. Only you can decide to be friends again, but I think you should do it only after you have set your boundaries with her (know what you want first) and then draw the line when she oversteps it. Be ready to walk away if she does not respect you. Then again, she has already proven it, maybe your friendship was uneven, with you in the one down position before. Do you still want that? There are better people out there who won't do that. Sometimes we outgrow what was once comfortable in our lives. Good luck, I know it's hard.

Answer 4

if you keep talking about it and she shows a noncaring attitude i think that that's not really a true friend. A friend always understands and wouldn't try to hurt your feelings aftter you talk about it. Though it seemed as though you at one time couldn't be split up almost all things sadly come to an end

Answer 5

You could try just staying away from her for a while and spending time with other friends. If she sees that you don't want to hang out with her, she may get the message that she's been hurting you. If she asks you why you haven't wanted to hang out, just tell her that it hurts you too much when she says things to hurt your feelings.

Answer 6

make sure your talking to her in a private setting, where only you two are. It's difficult to tell what she's feeling, but she could be in a way ending your friendship and just using this way instead of telling you straight up.

Answer 7

me and my friends get mad at each other all the time,but if shes really doing things that makes her seem like shes changed you should just ask her whats up and if she doesnt get that kick her to da curb

Answer 8

your right she probably does not get it my friend is like that you need to explain it in a way she might get it, other whys tell some one and they can help you two

Answer 9

Well if you two dont understand and cant pleased each other so why be friend?

Answer 10

I THINK YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME TO SEE HOW SHE FEEL BUT OTHER THAN THAT YOU SHOULD TELL HER AGAIN OR DON'T BE TO TIGHT WITH HER. GET SOME SPACE TO SEE HOW YOU FEEL WITH OUT HER.