2007-01-08 11:42:28 · 13 answers · asked by nancy v 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Remember that forgiving and forgetting are two very different things. Trying to "let it go" (in my opinion) says you are trying to forget. That's impossible to do and also unhealthy. (Also, my opinion)
You need to forgive your husband more for yourself than him. If you don't, that anger and feelings of betrayal will eat you alive from the inside out. Forgive him for your own sanity. Forgive him for making poor choices, for hurting you, damaging your relationship, and breaking your marriage vows but forgetting is a whole other ballgame.
Unfortunately, you will never forget. I am sure your trust has been damaged and it will take a long time to ever gain that back. Gaining your trust is something that your husband will have to work on in the years to come. He has to accept that.
You can forgive your husband if you want to but stop trying to forget because that won't happen. At this point it is your husbands job to win back your trust and that won't be easy nor will happen overnight. He's got to be willing to do the work in the time it takes and if he's not
well...then you have some decisions to make.
I wish you the best. :)
2007-01-08 11:59:19 · answer #1 · answered by tnewton8351 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but some people can never really forgive this act. Did he cheat while you were married? It will take lots of time. Maybe you could see a councler. If you really want your marriage to work I would sugest therepy. I couldn't forgive me husband for 5 years...I still have not forgave him. However it ended our marriage 5 years later. We never went to a therepist or councler. Do you have it in you to forget about it and leave it out of your fights? I didn't. But only time will tell. Remorseful or not it hurts like hell. & it takes time to rebuild that trust he ruined not you. He should be figuering out ways to help you trust him again.
2007-01-08 19:51:36 · answer #2 · answered by Carleyheart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he has shown remorse, and wants your forgiveness, and u took him back, than at some point u need to let go of this, and focus on repairing the marriage. many men never come back, and don't want forgiveness, or think they did a thing wrong, consider yourself lucky my friend. let it go, it is in the past it is over. after 3 years, and showing remorse, think he deserves to get out of the doghouse.
2007-01-08 19:54:27 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's just not going to actually happen no time soon. The trust was damaged, so he's going to have to deal with whatever it takes to get it back if he wants his marriage to work. That's the least he can do, and you can treat him as if he deserves the benefit of doubt so that you can get past the thought of it happening again to keep from being stressful over what's past. Since you are still with him you should let go or your marriage will continue to be in jeopardy.
2007-01-08 20:24:51 · answer #4 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 years ago is a long time u have to forgive him u can let your heart breath u can love him 4 him are move on
2007-01-08 20:06:46 · answer #5 · answered by Dana F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you lose that trust, it's very hard to get back and if you can't get it back, then your relationship is done. You need to think to yourself about it all, do you want to be without him, cuz if you can't forgive and move on, you might as well end it. otherwise figure out what is going to make you trust him again, tell him what that is and if he's truely sorry for what he did, he will do whatever it takes to win you back and get your trust and love back. Good luck and I know it's hard thing to deal with, but it's something you have to figure out on your own!
2007-01-08 19:49:21 · answer #6 · answered by nalerij 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you decided to be in this relationship, then you must do your best to let it go. via therapy or whatever it takes. It's very common, men cheat, but if he is sorry and is with you just make sure you do not throw it in his face. If you cannot or will not put this behind you then your marriage will end up in divorce, You took him back, so work on your relationship. it takes time. but there are worse things.
2007-01-08 19:49:16 · answer #7 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it alot of time. It gets easier with time. Forgiveness came for me after two years. But you will never forget.
2007-01-08 19:47:56 · answer #8 · answered by kelly l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just forgive and forget (you can't forgive without forgetting) so when you decide to forgive and you remember him (and you will) think only of the good times get over the bad --hope this works for you
2007-01-08 19:47:47 · answer #9 · answered by gabby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand where you are coming from my husband cheat on my before we where married and it was the first time we where together but i do know that it is hard very hard and i couldnt tell you if the trust is ever the same i dont think it could be for me it still eats me alive i hope it will heal for your sack and mine
2007-01-08 19:52:08 · answer #10 · answered by ashley l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋