me and my fiance have been together for two years we went through a rough patch and i didnt no if he was who i wanted to spend my life with and i ended up gettin a little to close with a close friend who took advantage of the situation i was in (were no longher friends) but it made me realise how much i do want my man more than anyone else and it absolutly shattered him when i told him am heart broken at my stupidity and dont wnat to lose him but if thats what he wants then ill go with that i just want to knowe if someone u love cheats on you is it still possible to take them back and still love then
NO JUDGEMENTEL COMMENTS PLEASE YOU DONT KNOW ME SO YOU CANT JUDGE ME IM JUST LOOKING FOR HONEST ANSWERS
2007-01-08 10:58:24 · 60 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hun,
I know mistakes happen. Two years is a lot of time because men usually cannot even stay commited for two days.
It is such a good sign that you were able to tell him you cheated on him. Your fiance should also realize that you and that other man are not friends anymore. Also, it make you realize how much you wanted your fiance. I believe he should look at that and realize how remorseful you are over this.
But on your hand, you also should expect him to be angry about it and not want to talk for a while. Imagine if you were in his situation. It hurts a lot. He might even hold a grudge. It will take a lot of patience.
Who knows? This could be a love test to prove how much you two love each other and can overcome obstacles.
Good luck, hun.
2007-01-08 11:02:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It depends on the circumstances. When I was engaged to my wife we were having some problems. We had lived together for 5 years. She cheated on me, and I moved out of our house. We were split up for about 2 months. During that time she continued to see this other man. She called me at one point and told me I had some mail there that I needed to pick up. When I got there she told me that she missed me and that this other man was much different than myself. Basically she was not happy with the way things were going. My initial thought was you made your bed now you and your fat *** boyfriend can sleep in it. But after I thought about it some more I realized just how much I missed her. To make a long story short I took her back. We got married and had 2 children together. We have been married for almost 9 years now and I have no doubt in my mind that she has not even considered doing anything remotely close to cheating since. Basically we have lived happily ever after. I m glad that I made the decision to take her back. Good Luck!
2007-01-08 11:33:42 · answer #2 · answered by sublime1973 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll tell you how I'd behave.
When I am into a relationship, I give it everything that I have. Like this is the only relationship that ever existed in my life. I would be completely faithful, and can't believe that the other person can even think about cheating on me. For me my body now belongs to my special someone, and I think the other person would think the same.
My special person broke that delicate trust, and I walked out. It was extremely hard on me because I was deeply in love. But I just could not be in that relationship again.
2007-01-09 03:32:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, hon, honest answer. Marriages and committed relationships are admiration, respect, passion and trust, and the only real deal breaker is betrayal. You shared passion (probably right away) with someone else, giving that person your body and soul. In any man's language, that is betrayal. It is two years of counseling before someone can get over that, and that is not even guarantee that they even can. Committed relationships are full of caring, respect, lots of support, lovies, solving problems without rage, planning and doing nice things for the other to keep the relationship nice. (And often times, just shutting the hell up!) These are the things that bring contentment. Betrayal is like a knife in the neck. I bet it shattered him.... that is an understatement... Can you regain, and re-earn the respect and trust again? Don't know. If he doesn't want to try, it is for sure over.... for you both....
2007-01-08 11:14:15 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know. Its so hard to love someone, and then have them cheat on you. But you love them so much, you don't want to let them go. People just assume that when someone cheats on you, its an automatic break up. But if the love is so strong, what do you do? I'm not here to judge you, it happens, we feel unloved, and feel as though its not gonna work out, and we go to someone we hope will help us, or guide us. But in your case they took advantage of you. Don't give up, if you truly loved him, you will do your best to get him back. If the person I loved, loved me, and it was a one time thing, then I would take them back, but not trust them fully. If they had a whole other relationship, and repeatedly had sex with this person then, regrettably, its over.
2007-01-08 11:03:43 · answer #5 · answered by Donovan G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love can conquer the hardest of hearts. it can also break them apart. The pain one gets from betrayal is worse than any torture can be. Even if he loves you more than the sun, moon and stars, the most important person (subconciously) to a being is themselves. And as a defense mechanism, you dont want to get hurt again, and you will take the necessary steps to not have that pain inflicted again. So I'd say before he can shut you off, you should talk to him and prove your true love, if it is true.
in the end, hearts are meant to be broken. But they can also be mended.
2007-01-08 11:05:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anon-e-moose 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was probably best not to have told him. But you did, so now it's up to him how to react. Obviously it's difficult, but like Ross said to Rachel on "friends" : "We were on a BREAK!!!"
You tell him, that under different circumstances you would not have done what you have done. Play the victim and say it was short and disappointing and it made you see what a wonderful man you have. We are human. we make mistakes. Do not be pushy. If he loves you he will get over it and you can start your lives together. Good Luck.
2007-01-08 11:04:20 · answer #7 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what do ya realize, its captain oblivious. Mother ******* such as you need to die terrible and painful deaths. Is someone particularly this dull, ARE YOU A MAN!!! The rationale Karma hasn't stuck as much as you but is for the reason that it's slowly constructing up and accumulating adequate energy to ship you directly into hell. Get the **** out of our gene pool, you're definitely the downfall of humanity, and you're a shame to Real Men. from right here on you could have been cursed and you are going to die.
2016-09-03 18:30:18 · answer #8 · answered by degregorio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oooh, do I have some viewpoint for you. I have been on both sides of this fence "if you will." Mostly on the side of being cheated on. People can be so like wolves in sheep's clothing that it is a wonder that they have not been put to death yet. In other words, deceptive as all get out. Especially with the cheating bullsht.
Most of the men in my life cheated on me one dang way or another and I am so close to cutting myself off of dating so that I can do some growing on my own without a relationship clouding up my progress. I don't really want to say that I would cut the guy off, but at the same time, I probably would do just that. Also, I would probably cut myself off to protect myself for a long time. Seek out some relationship counceling from friends and relatives that have gone through this too. I have a tendancy to talk to alot of people about the same topic so as to get alot of different viewpoints before I make a decision. Then I go to my safe place and take time to put everything I have heard that is fitting to the topic together and draw up a conclusion. I also happen to be one to do alot of thinking about things before anything happens. It is somewhat of a way to see things before they happen. In my mind play out scenerios about things and possibilities. What if I did this or what if I did not do that what might happen either way?
All in all dearheart, yes it is possible to love someone who has cheated on you. My trust level in that person goes way way down almost into the pit of the earth. That person needs to make some serious changes to prove to himself that he is worthy of this relationship. Admit his wrong doing without blame and take serious steps to go in a much healthier direction if we are to be together. Ya know, at the tender age of 40 years old, I do not play those kind of kid games any more. I am not getting any younger and will not put up with it lying down. I am worth so much more than what a cheater has to offer. I am not better than anyone else in this world but I am not going to put up with kid games either. Enough is enough.
Please, I hope I have not offended you in any of what I have said here. I do not mean to hurt you, only to give of my heart and a different viewpoint.
2007-01-08 11:32:31 · answer #9 · answered by sheila h 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
(Just bare with me please )
You do not take responsibility for your actions. Someone "took advantage" of your situation???
If you can not be honest with yourself you may cheat again.
If you are all defensive right now then you may be too immature to be engaged.
Just take some time before you really hurt someone.
You did not know that you wanted him until after the drama?.
I am not judging you,
I am just pointing out your actions
**We all have our shortcomings but they keep creeping back if we do not take responsibility for our own part.
****If you can see your part in it, not blame the other person and learn from the pain then he would be lucky to have you back.
2007-01-08 11:24:15 · answer #10 · answered by sweet pea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋