My 11 year old is having a very difficult time with the divorce. He goes to counseling and I also meet with his counselor as well. She said he is in a very tough stage in his life and dealing with the divorce caused him to be depressed sometimes. I am concerned that leaving him home alone puts him in a difficult situation with all the different temptations in the home. I wrote my ex and basically begged her not to leave the kids home alone at this stage of their lives. If she continues to do so what other avenues can I take to emphasize my concerns?
2007-01-08 10:41:59 · 16 answers · asked by paco 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You could give your ex money to hire a sitter so that when she's not at home someone will be there.
She probably doesn't like it either and this would solve that particular. problem.
2007-01-08 10:47:22 · answer #1 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it's not illegal then you don't have too many legal avenues to take except to go to court and change your custody agreement. Maybe mention your concerns to the counselor. If she thinks this is something to be of concern about with the 11 year old ask if she can either call or write a letter to the mother. You also might want to have a serious one-on-one chat with your 13 year old to keep an eye on him when no adults are around.
2007-01-08 10:54:54 · answer #2 · answered by CA DIVA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he home alone after school? If it is a time when you can be with him then I would recommend that, if not then ask your x if you could provide some activity your 11 and 13 could go to while she is not home, for instance a church group or the Y. Divorce is tough on everyone involved, ecspecially the children. If the kids see mom and dad working together it will only help the kids heal quicker.
L.
2007-01-08 15:11:29 · answer #3 · answered by tink3610 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off I would get a cell phone for the oldest in case something would happen, and MAKE sure that they have the polices number, your number, the neighbors number, and like your parents or something. I have 2 siblings and when we were younger we were home alone all the time. Its all up to you and if you feel your kids are mature enough for this. I know I wasn't but my older brother made me listen. Its your judgement call but I would say its okay, and this would teach them responsibility and trust. Also, I would give them a chore to do, it doesn't have to be anything big. Just something to show you they are doing what you want them to.
2016-05-23 15:19:36 · answer #4 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you, dad. You are correct -- your son will indeed have a tough time accepting the divorce.... all kids think it is their fault, no matter what you tell them, no matter how much you reassure them, they always figure that "If I had just kept my room cleaner,,,,, If I had just taken the garbage out without having to have been asked twice.....", yadayadayda. I'm assuming that she is working, and he and your daughter are "latch-key" kids until she gets home?? Sometimes their school has after school activities, sometimes there are Boys and Girls clubs that they can join, and barring that, perhaps you can pay a neighbor to be there for them when they get home from school, or instruct them to go a neighbor's house and pay that neighbor until your wife comes to get them. Kids this age and older find ways to escape their pain -- drugs, alcohol, even sex, believe it or not....
2007-01-08 10:52:03 · answer #5 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may be bad timing because of the divorce but in most places 12 and 13 year olds are old enough to babysit. Hopefully they aren't alone for HUGE amounts of time but kids used to be unsupervised all the time and turned out okay.
2007-01-08 10:48:07 · answer #6 · answered by Angela B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you meet with his couselor why don't you bring it up at one of the meetings and find out how he or she feels about the child being left at home alone? Some times depending on what type of counselor it is they get take measures that are needed to make changes at home. Good Luck!
2007-01-08 10:48:38 · answer #7 · answered by Ginny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax. Your sons are old enough to be left alone, plus it sounds like they were actually both home, so not technically alone anyhow. Ask the counselor what she thinks, and IF she agrees with you, ask your ex to talk with her. Otherwise, give your ex a break, and definitely don't talk bad about her, or what she did, to your kids.
2007-01-08 10:55:56 · answer #8 · answered by Emily R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it's not illegal in your state at there age, you could talk to your lawyer, but there probably isn't really anything you can do. You may talk to the counselor and see if she will write a letter to your wife (ex) and see if that helps, cuz maybe coming from a professional will make her listen more then coming from someone she doesn't really like at this point. Good luck with everything!
2007-01-08 10:48:30 · answer #9 · answered by nalerij 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't change her and don't even try.
Support your sons. Ask your ex if they can come over to your house when she is out. Get your 11 year old one of those restricted cell phones so he can call you. Be with him as much as you can and tell him that you love him and are proud of him often. Make sure that he knows that the divorce is not his fault.
Worked with my kids.
2007-01-08 10:51:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As tough as it sounds, I am sure your ex wife is not harming your children by leaving them home alone. She is their mommy. At least they have each other. My son is 14 and stays home alone. Granted, he would prefer someone to be there, but it helps them gain a little independence. Relax.
2007-01-08 10:49:30 · answer #11 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋