My Hubby is Chubby but that's not why I married him. He thinks I should be attracted to his chub but...help!

Question

I love him & I think he's the sexiest man alive. I'm just not sexually attracted to his 6 month baby belly & man boobs. He thinks I'm shallow because I don't look at his belly when we make love. It tuns me off so I look at his face instead. He dosen't want to work out or eat right in order to give me the body I desire but I don't say anything to him about it unless he asks. I'm not going to lie to him. If I cook with "anything "lowfat" or "low sodium", He'll: make it himself, order pizza or go get a cheeseburger, fries & a soda.
I try so hard to keep my figure, style my hair & spend a long time on my makeup. Is it right for him to think I'm Shallow? Is it right for him to think I should be attracted to his fat if I'm not? Is it right for him to make me feel bad about my physical preference? It's a matter of taste isn't it? Is it possible for me to make my self attracted to his body? Isn't the magority of mankind NOT attracted to chub? Arent most women attracted to men with a fit build

This isn't a new subject for us.
Sometimes he notices me not looking at his mid section when he takes off his shirt he gets bent & then we talk about it. I'm never mean about it. I love the man dearly. I truely do! After much convincing, he resolves to work out & TRY to eat healthy & work out but a day or two latter & it's back to the same routine.He wanted me to put on a little weight & as soon as I started getting a little too thick I asked him if he wanted me to lose a few. He said "yes" & I did. So, I know it isn't easy but I did it for him. Look, I love him regardless. I just don't think it's right for him to expect me to want to look at something that's truely an eye sore for me.

I don't taunt, tease nor am I in any way mean to him about it.
He calls his body those things, I say nothing of the sort. He makes me laugh all the time & so it makes me chuckle when he sayes it but I don't tease him.

I don't taunt, tease nor am I in any way mean to him about it.
He calls his body those things, I say nothing of the sort. He makes me laugh all the time & so it makes me chuckle when he sayes it but I don't tease him.

Answer 1

I can understand where you are coming from. you love your husband but there are certain bits of him that arent so attractive to you. You are right, not many people are attracted to chub. I dont think you are shallow at all. BUT, you cant make someone change. It is up to him to decide if he wants to change.

maybe you could let yourself go, so that he knows what it feels like to be married to someone who doesnt care about their appearance. lol.

Good luck.

Answer 2

I'm not sure how you can say your husband is "the sexiest man alive" when you're not sexually attracted to his body. I can understand loving someone enough that it doesn't matter to you what they look like. However, I also believe that sexual attraction is key to a relationship. It's difficult to answer whether I think it's "right" for him to think you are shallow. When I hear right, I think of morals/ethics rather than is it logical for him to think you are shallow. Again, I cannot answer whether he should or should not think you are shallow. I am not him and not able to answer for him. If you are not attracted to parts of him and feel that you make an effort and he does not, then it sounds as if you need to sit down and discuss the situation. I'm concerned that you could become resentful of his apparent unwillingness to change his body type, and he could become resentful that you are not attracted to his current body type. I think that every person has their own preference when it comes to physical looks. What I like is obviously going to be different than what you like. Personally, I like a man with a lil meat on his bones. Good luck :)

Answer 3

Double-Edged Sword.
You made the initial mistake of marrying a man that you find yourself not completely sexually attracted to. Right now, he probably feels that you enjoy his jelly roll and is in no hurry to change it. You have to move slowly here. Eventually sex with him will become unbearable because of his girth and you will grow sexually frustrated or , even worse, cheat on him with a man with a good body (Like Myself). Joking aside this could happen.

Also, for the sake of a long, loving marriage, being overweight carries a litany of health problems that come along. Ask him, "Would rather I make love to my fit and sexy husband, or be a widow due to my overweight husband having a heart attack."

This is a two way street. You love him , which is great, so you must stay on him about his health. He, in turn, should be willing to put in the work to give you the husband that you desire.

If you really want him to think about it, inform him that obesity causes impotency. That should get his motor (and his @$$) running.

Godspeed.

Answer 4

Only thing I can think of is hook him up with a professional. Start slow by making him take at least alimentary supplements like Vitamin and Magnesium tabs, maybe Iron and get info on anything else that might help him to feel good. If you make those subtile changes to his diet and start by closing the gaps he might have he wont feel down as much and when you mention the sunject he could feel more up to the task of physical exercise.

Answer 5

Thats sad...you shouldnt be making fun of him though. Tel him you love him and you dont care how much he ways or how he looks. If you dont like it, leave him. he deserves better than being taunted. im not saying yuor a bad wife, im saying that instead of teasing him, tell him you love him either way and you just want him to lose a little weight. Hurting him wont make him feel better.

Answer 6

Well I can see what you are saying but you should love him for him. Extra baggage and all. You can explain to him that you want him to loose weight b/c of health reasons. Tell him your reasoning ... not just that you don't find him attractive anymore.

This sounds like the roles have been reversed ... like when a woman gains weight while pregnant and the man isn't attracted to her anymore. Thank goodness I have a husband who loves me for me ... and not just the looks.

Good luck to you and your hubby.

Answer 7

Ok, I think maybe a little shallow, but probably mostly confident. Was your hubby chubby when you got married?? If so then you should have dealt with the issue before you married. if not, just keep doing what your doing and try to get him to go for a walk with you or something. Get him moving and sex is excersize too... Good luck!

Answer 8

Your husband has a mental problem, and wants to pretend like everything is peechy. Its not fun being with someone who hurts themselves, and its not attractive to watch someone over eat. Your husband should shape up or ship out because his weight is not the biggest problem he has, its his rotten attitude about life.

Answer 9

"He dosen't want to work out or eat right in order to give me the body I desire..."

Am I the only one who finds this statement disturbing? It's your husband's body, and if he wants to be a tub, then that's his decision. If you continue to pressure him, or try to 'improve' him, then you'll just end up pushing him away.

Answer 10

Wasn't he in Austin Powers , The spy who shagged me??

I feel for you, i do not think you are shallow, but if you are not to feel bad about your physical appearance. It would not be fair of him to make you feel bad...

but...Fat guys need lovin too ....