We wern't very serious and then i found out i was pregnant and we broke up. he didn't want the baby and pressured me to have an abortion. He wouldn't speak to me when i decided to have the baby and just before he was born told me he never wanted to see the child and would never recognise him as his own. After the baby was born i applied for centrelink and had to then apply for child support. The father opted for a dna test. When these results came back proving he was the father he told his parents that he had a child and came to see him. I am happy for him to spend time with the baby and i know that is the best thing for him. it is hard though because the father works away, and not on a regular schedual. He doesn't feel comfortable with giving him dinner or changing his nappies- although he does love him very much. He has only seen the baby a handful of times over 2 months. He has just told his brother and sister and now wants to take him to his sisters house by himself for half a day.
2007-01-08 09:40:09 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
how wonderful that he wants a relationship with his son!!
Oh do let your son have this wonderful things called a dad!! If the father is taking him to his sisters place then his sister will be there to help withthe nappy changes and feeds etc... so dont worry.. and even if dad has to mudle through a bit he will be okay..if the nappy isnt exactly right it wont hurt... and BUB will show the way where feeds are concerned..
I think this man is a little shy about asking you to teach him to care for his son and maybe a bit embarassed about having wanted an abortion... but now his son is here and a real little person he can get to know and love he seriously wants to be the right kind of dad..
pack bubs bag bundle bub up and hand him over to dad.... and LET GO!....
it is kind of funny to watch dads handling their bubs but it is also a wondrous thing too cause dads might not follow the same procedure as mums but they get the job done when necessary... even if its a bit muddled..
And his sister will most likely fuss and insist on showing him the Right way of doing things... so dont worry no harm will come to bub...and do make plans for you to go out and do something really special for yourself while bub is off your hands...
2007-01-08 10:05:51 · answer #1 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do what is best for the baby. A baby needs a father and a mother. It's too bad this doesn't seem in the cards for this little tyke. In this day and age, people have kids out of wedlock all the time, it won't be as confusing as it once was when he's older. More than half his friends will have a single parent. Let the father see his son he's paying for it. Be a good mom and a good role model and your son will reap the benefits.
2007-01-08 10:02:57 · answer #2 · answered by Honeypai 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh no girl i wouldn't let him take the baby anywhere yet. I mean at first he didnt even want the baby but now he claims the baby and all. I would get him to start changing the baby in front of you and showing that he can do it with you so you can feel more at ease with the baby with him alone. Men never like to do that stuff but i made my son'e dad do it all before spending the day or night away from me. Good Luck!
2007-01-08 09:49:06 · answer #3 · answered by sexy twist 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a reason you dont want to do this. Is it because he is parading his son around proudly even though hes only seen him a handful of times. DO you feel like hes being a phoney?Or do you not want your son out with out you? If that is the case tell your ex that if he wants to take your baby anywhere yoru coming along and if he doesnt like it then he snot taking him. I am a possesive mother and I make sure that if any thing makes me the least bit uncomfertable regarding my daughter then i dont allow it to happen. So go along and that will ease your mind..and if the ex has a problem with it...to friggen bad..its your baby more then his and you have all the say.
2007-01-08 16:04:57 · answer #4 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'ld suggest going with him to do all the things he's not comfortable with. Let him know that until he is completely comfortable doing everything for that baby only then will you even consider thinking about giving him the baby for any amount of timeby himself.
Just cause he's the father doesn't mean you have to give in to him. ALWAYS think about what's best for the baby first. If he doesn't like that then let the courts decide.
2007-01-08 09:50:11 · answer #5 · answered by c_jrose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be skeptical. You need to observe how he can handle baby prior to him taking bub anywhere - for at least a few days. Tell him that too. You need him to come over by you and take care of bub for a half a day by your house, you being there but not helping. And see if he can handle it. Who knows, when he has that baby by himself, that baby might throw a fit. My baby throws a fit by anyone else but me. She only wants mom. It is so hard to have my mother in law babysit for me all day when I work. I call over there and she is being fussy cuz she misses me. I know that is what it is cuz the second I go pick her up, she stops fussing and starts giggling and smiling. Your bub may not be so sweet w/daddy by himself. Maybe you could go with even. Not as a couple and make sure you make that clear. I wouldn't feel comfortable w/letting dad take my baby for a 1/2 a day and l live w/my babies dad. I mean I will let him take her, but I would be trippin all day wondering if she was missing me and crying for me. I dunno. I would seriously see if you can either go with, or have him take care of bub by you so you can witness how he does before you let him do it.
2007-01-08 09:47:16 · answer #6 · answered by Brooke's Mommy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him bring his sister over to your place or you go with him. That's the problem in having a child with someone you don't know well, you should be able to know whether or not your child's father can be trusted. Maybe it's best to arrange supervised visits... you go with him where he wants to take the baby, have someone from social services supervise him, have a mutual friend supervise... just til you are comfortable that he is okay being with the child.
2007-01-08 09:51:10 · answer #7 · answered by 2007 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. He will never get comfortable with his child if he isn't given the opportunity. Besides even though he wasn't being a man in the beginning, it seems that he is trying to step up and be a Father. Don't stand in the way of that. Let him be a Man and a Father, not just a baby daddy.
2007-01-08 09:45:39 · answer #8 · answered by Kier22_2 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First congratulation on of not having an abortion. Since you guys were kinda "casual" and not building a major relationship I would tag along with him for awhile, making sure your child doesn't make "strange" and he figures out what he is doing.
If he starts taking him now, hopefully a strong relationship builds and this will continue throughout his life---remember I don't care how many men you go through and how perfect your "perfect" mate is--no one and I mean no one--will love your child the way the real parents do.....And I do not mean adoption----
2007-01-08 09:54:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi given those circumstances no i wouldent let him at all how can you say he is a loving dad when you say he has only recognised him for 2 months of his life just remember look at your son and say wow you wanted me to abort (kill my baby) imagine your life without your preciouse son. how do you no he is not up to something tell him he can see him all he wants but you have to be there and if say he is consistent over a year or so then let him you can tell a lot in a year. also 6 month olds need to be changed often if he cant do that without a complaint forget it good luck to you and your son.
2007-01-08 09:48:15 · answer #10 · answered by nomorebabieshaha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋