should I buy this magazine for my 12 year old boy with seminude girls?

Question

it is OK to let my 12 year old boy read/see a magazine with semi nude?
My son and I were at a library reading for 2 hours and when we were leaving he ask me if he could show me a magazine(he was all red, too shy).

The magazine had this beautiful girls and it was sealed (plastic all over)
the name of magazine was FHM .
I have tell mim before that if he has ANY questions about ANY topic he must trust me or his dad, instead of "friends".
He asked me if I could buy it 4 him; I told him that I had to ask his dad 2. My husband did not answer me he just laugh(nicely).
Should we buy it and let him see it (I know that he had click on links on computer and has seen some girls). He will be 13 soon
please help me decide.
Don't you think it is nice that he trust us?

IF I ASK HERE IS BEACAUSE I DO NOT SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH ASKING.

I ASK HERE FOR THE SAME REASON SOME OF US ANSWER HERE

HE HAS READ "What Boys Should Know About Sex" AND MORE. HE IS 3 TIMES SPELLING BEE WINNER , HE READS ALL BOOKS,HE KNOWS WHERE THE BABIES COME FROM HE HAS SEEN THE BIRTH OF HIS 2 SIBLINGS (WITH DAD) INSIDE ROOM WE PREPARED HIM SHOWING HIM THE VIDEO WHEN HE WAS BORN. HE ALSO HELPED ME WHEN I HAVE MY 5TH SURGERY (I HAVE NO FAMILY HERE),HE CHANGED HIS BROTHERS' DIAPER AND MORE (AT THAT TIME). SO DO NOT JUDGE ME I YOU DO NOT ME . I AM HIS MOM AND HIS FRIEND BUT I SEE NOTHING WRONG WITH ASKING HERE, I READ A LOT BUT LIFE AND PEOPLE KNOW MORE, THERE ARE MOVIES OR PROGRAMS,EVEN ADS WORST THAN SOME MAGAZINES. I HAD SIT WITH HIM AND EXPLAIN SOME SEXUAL DOUBTS HE HAD,BUT IF I ASK HERE IS BECAUSE I WANT TO. IF SOMEONE DO NOT LIKE IT, I AM A CLICK AWAY. BUT THANKS TO THE ONES THAT ARE NICE HERE

Answer 1

If you don't care his attitude towards women or sex then fine, buy it. If you do, DO NOT BUY SOFT CORE PORN FOR YOU TWELVE YEAR OLD....Would you let your 12 year old daughter pose for the mag....?????

Answer 2

I have 12 year old boys and girls and I would say no. It would
probably be appropriate for a 16 year old. These magazines
are openly biased toward profane language, subject matter
regarding sex, which would be way above a 13 year old.
It sends a message of promiscuity and self indulgence. I
have even seen articles discussing alcohol and drug use as
if it was a common recreation. If he clicks on the computer
and sees something he shouldn't or picks up a magazine with
articles he shouldn't read is one thing. But a parent buying
this type of periodicals sends a message that the subject matter
is ok.

Answer 3

First, no matter how much a child knows it is still head knowledge until the hormones kick in. When those hormones kick in he best be ready for the thoughts that go with them.

Second, at some time in his life he will have sexual questions that need an answer so you best buy the books that answer the questions and not just books that show boobs. Go to your local library, bookstore, on online to find books that give the facts in a tasteful way so as to answer the questions and let him go on his way. Treat sexual facts like any other fact and don't leave sex as being dirty or you might find yourself doing more harm than good.

Third, your attitude is everything in this matter so swallow the surprise, give a gentle smile and say "I am glad you came to me with this question." If you don't have an answer them him that you will get back to him because you want to give him the most accrete and proper answer you can.

Fourth, check back with him a few days later to make sure that the thinks you talked about were understood and see if any new questions came up in his mind.

Fifth, remind him that he does not need those magazines when he has you to talk too. It is much better to get the correct information from a loving parent than a magazine editor or writer.

If you think that this is just too hard go to a minister or youth director you trust and sit with your child while you both hear the answers. I would never leave a child alone to hear sexual answer no mater who it is.

If you do this right now you will overcome your difficulties and he will know he can talk with you about anything, BTW the wedding day will come and he needs to hear from the both of you how a woman needs to be treated, best of luck to you and your family.

Answer 4

Personally I say no. I think it is great youa re trying to have an open and honest relationship with your child, but you have to first and foremost be a parent not a friend.

There is a little voice in your head that told you NO when you considered doing it - that voice is called the voice of reason. Continue to listen to it in the future.

What I would do is have a frank conversation with him. I would say I totally understand why you want the magazine, and I don't think badly of you in the least. You have a natural curiosity about the other gender and that is fine, however as your Mother I do not feel it is right for me to add fuel to the fire by providing you this magazine. I thin the girls are dressed too sexy for a boy your age. While there is nothing wrong with nudity I think you need to wait a while and mature some before things like this are opened up for you.

Answer 5

Well, let's see he's almost 13, what kind of man would you like him to be? one that respects women or one that objectifies them? If you want him to grow up respecting women talk to him about why some of those magazines are not good for a 13 year old boy or for that matter some grown men. on the other hand just about any magazine that you buy these days has half naked women in it. so your best bet is to talk to him about respecting the opposite sex no magazine can take the place of your advice.

Answer 6

I think it's good that you and your son have that open relationship where he can come to you and ask you a simple, yet hard question like that. I think it would be an ok thing to buy your son, but a even better book to buy him (as my mom and dad bought me this book when i was his age) is called "What Boys Should Know About Sex". It's a published 300 or so page book about the birds and the bees. It deals with everything from where babies come from to what diseases are named and how they are contracted. Although there are pictures in it they are of the anatomy of women so there won't be anything to take to school and get into trouble for having in school. It's a really good book so maby that in addition to the FHM would be good. Either way you seem like a good mom so i hope that whatever decision you make is well thought out

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with seeing a women exposed its completely natural. I do not think you should buy the magazine for him though if you dont want to im surprised the kid actually asked you haha. Most of us would go behind are parents back for things like that. So youve done a very good job raising him if he trusts you enough to ask you. But its just semi nude women he will see it all one day. Hes probably already looking at pornography. Just try not to be too judgemental all young boys are interested in sexuality. There is nothing sinful about it. Just make sure your son understands that he is to respect women. And maybe give a talk to him about condoms and birth control. Even though he is way to young to have intercourse. He is never to young to learn about it.

Answer 8

Ok, I am working on a Ph D in Child Psychology. We are taught that you should allow children to maintain their innocence as long as possible and allow them to grow based on their environment. With what you have said, he already has a wonderful understanding of human reproduction. But where he seemed embarrassed about asking if he should be allowed to have the FHM mag, tells you he has already started to transition to sexual maturity and is finding it more facinating than clinical. I am a subscriber to Maxim Magazine (same company that creates "FHM" and "Stuff") and where I dont object to my son (who is 11) looking through the magazine (the pictures are no worse than what you would see on TV) I do object to him reading it. Thats where you should really be asking your question. All the articles are not sexually related, but some are a little beyond what I would like him to see right now, then there are also the ads. Perhaps you should read the magazine first and decide if you would care if he absorbs the articles and other material advertised in the magazine. Usually the pictures are harmless by comparrison. As far as the issue of "Soft Porn," people, get real! The children see much more provacative things in their cartoons today than they do in real life. PG-13 movies can contain sexual suggestiveness or blatent sexual content. Look at Scary movie 2. pg-13, and THAT was one movie I turned off when my daughter brought it home to watch. I am sure you have done a good job raising your son, but since he is now noticing the attributes of girls or women, maybe you should now teach him about limits and boundaries, respect and control. He may have that knowledge now, but he needs to know how it applies to members of the opposite sex and his interactions with them. He is 13 which means dating is right around the corner.

Answer 9

If your son was a year or two older it would be different but he's still a bit young for FHM. My brother started reading it about sixteen or so and that tends to be the youngest age range for this magazine.

You can't stop him reading these things forever and it's naive to expect him to read the 'Beano' at age twelve but, equally, I'd say he was still too young for FHM. It not only has pictures of semi-naked women but it discusses things like sex in a manner that a child of this age isn't really ready for.

Tell him you'll be happy to buy it for him when he's about fifteen but not just now. It is nice that you have a close relationship with him so discuss why you don't feel he's ready for FHM just yet.

Answer 10

If you buy him a magazine with any amount of sexual content, he will show it to all his friends. Then you will have their parents down on your butt.
If he can't buy it on his own, he shouldn't have it.

If you do decide to let him look at porn, be sure to talk to him about how it is an unrealistic presentation of sex, sexuality, and women. He cannot expect the little girls his age to look like that or be interested in those things.

Answer 11

It is natural male curiosity that led him to ask. Encourage his honesty and help him explore it in a healthy manner, vs covertly which is what many children are forced to choose because of repressed mentalities that lead parents to believe a child should not have those thoughts or desires until they are 21.

If I had ignored my thoughts and desires until I was 21, or 18, I would have serious emotional issues. These are healthy and normal progressions in a young males life. Semi nude is perhaps healthier than, say, raw porn, which is certainly easily accessible. I hope you will work with your son and help instill healthy sexual values. Remember, an overreaction may cut like a knife, and no action will lead him to find his "reading materials" elsewhere.