Are funeral services more for the living or for the dead?

Question

A situation I am facing. So no jokes please.

Shakeema. Thanks a lot a** hole

Answer 1

The Purpose of the Funeral
Once we see and understand how we deal with death, it is time to consider how the funeral enters into this process. The funeral serves many purposes but is best expressed in the following statements.

The funeral:

Helps confirm the reality and finality of death.

Provides a climate of mourning and the expression of grief.

Allows the sorrows of one to become the sorrows of all.

Is the only time when love is given and not expected in return.

Is a vehicle for the community to pay its respects.

Encourages the affirmation of religious faith.

Is a declaration that a life has been lived, as well as a sociological statement that a death has occurred.
The funeral allows people to remember and honor their loved one in a special way.

It serves as a central gathering place for family and friends to give emotional support to one another.

It encourages mourners to face the pain of their loss and express their thoughts and feelings.

It helps the survivors to better cope with their grief and enables them to move forward in their lives.

It initiates the grief process while bringing closure to the death.

When we speak of the funeral we should define it in the terms of today. Many picture the funeral as an exclusively religious event with the body present in the casket followed by earth interment.

By funeral we mean the post-death activities that may include any type of meaningful ceremony to commemorate the life of the deceased.


While affirming the comfort and solace many find in the rites of their church, we also acknowledge that religious services may be inappropriate for those who do not have a religious affiliation.

The funeral should meet the needs of the family. The service, whether religious in nature or not, may include personal reading, stories, or anecdotes about the deceased, eulogies by family members, and musical numbers of meaning to the family.

While we affirm the value of the viewing of the remains as a means to confirm the reality of death, we also acknowledge that the family has the right to arrange whatever type of services they feel would be meaningful to them.

At the same time, we would encourage the family to consider other relatives and friends in the planning of post-death activities.

We believe that death is both a private and a public matter. While the death of a family member is a very personal loss, that death also effects distant family, friends, and the community at large.

Families who might not see the value in a service or desire "private" services should be urged to consider the needs of others to express their own grief at the loss of this person.

While the immediate family may or may not wish to view the body, they should be encouraged to make reasonable accommodation for others.
This might include leaving the casket closed at times when those who do not wish to view are present as well as arranging a period of viewing for others even if the immediate family does not wish to view the remains.


While some would view the visitation and funeral as a painful experience and would thus want to avoid it, it is in reality a first step towards healing.

It has been illustrated by comparison to having an aching tooth (With due recognition of the much more serious nature of death). Going to the dentist can be as painful as the toothache, but once the dental procedure is completed, healing takes place and pain subsides.
Rather than a pain to be avoided, the visitation and funeral should be looked at as a first step towards healing with the comfort and support of family and friends.


Even the very act of arranging for funeral services can be thought of as therapeutic in that the grieving person is engaged in meaningful activities that forces them to communicate, make decisions, and interact with others.

We acknowledge that cremation is an alternative to earth burial or entombment as a form of disposition of the body. It does not and should not be thought of as an alternative to having a funeral service.

We must not allow our own preferences concerning viewing, services, or disposition to become communicated to the family to influence them in their decision making.

While it is a part of our service to a family to advise them in such matters, our advice should consist of factual information free of our personal prejudices.

Finally, we believe that the funeral has a dual role. The funeral serves both the living and the dead.

The funeral is for the living. It provides a means of saying farewell.
The funeral is for the respectful disposition of the dead. No successful civilization has ever existed that simply discarded their dead.

Answer 2

Funerals are totally for the living. The dead have crossed over into their new lives. Here's a poem I use for comfort when I lose a loved one to the next world:

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there
I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle Autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds
In circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there
I did not die
Author Unknown

I hope the poem helps ease your pain.

Answer 3

I think its more a tradition... i mean the person who has passed away will not get a chance to save his soul and by funeral processions, the living are only pacifying themselves. Funerals are also a way to say that a life has gone.

Sorry for what you are going through, but tae heart and don't lose hope. I know what its like to lose a dear one.

Answer 4

My father passed away a few years back, and as a family we held a small funeral. I can honestly say that funerals do more for those who are living than those who have passed on. It gave me a sense of closure. It allowed me to reflect on his life, the good and the bad. I hope this helps.

Answer 5

John.... Funerals are all about respect for the person who left us. We show up at their funeral to pay our 'last respects'. We have eulogy's and church services for our deceased person.
The role the living person plays at the funeral is saying goodbye to our loved one.
The Funeral is for the dead.

Answer 6

They are truly more for the living to help them grieve and honor the memory of the person who died. Some people/families don't feel that need so they choose not to have have a formal funeral/remembrance of any type.

Answer 7

It is a way for the living to say goodbye to the dead

Answer 8

The service is most for the living , to remember the dead ; but also to give the deceased a proper " send-off " .

Answer 9

funeral services are more 4 the living what do you think it would look like if you had pews full of dead people at a funeral.

Answer 10

They are for the living. The deceased could care less.