Why do Men get put down for acting like Manly men?

Question

First there is no excuse for any man being physically or verbally abusive and that is not what I am talking about. Not about cheating either (that is wrong) or about the man being the boss (marriage/life is a partnership). What I am talking about is watching sports, drinking beer, using the F word when I want to be intimate. Not putting the lid down on the toilet seat. Walking around the house in my underwear, putting a 25 hp motor on a go-cart meant for a 5hp motor so it will go really fast. Letting the kids eat candy and stay up late when I watch them on my wife’s night out with the girls. Looking at porn on the computer, going to sleep after we do the F thing. Believing that it is ok for my boys to pee outside if no one sees them. Eating food out of the can while watching Saturday football. Shooting off fireworks even though there is apparently some law against it in city limits. I take much pride in being a Man with a capital M. I was like this when we were dating. I provide for her and kids. She is a stay at home mom with a house and car of her own. Why do men get a bad wrap for being men?

Answer 1

The feminists are just trying to turn us all into a bunch of sissies. Just look at the metro-sexuals as an example.

Answer 2

Um.... sorry, hon. That's not called being a man. Several of the things you listed are in the dictionary under 'jacka.s.s."

I have no problem with watching sports or the go-cart thing. And I'm all for you letting the kids rule the house when your wife's gone. That's what Dads are supposed to do. That's what I used to love about my dad. Fireworks? Go for it.

Using the F word when you're intimate is like telling your woman to feel like a whore. Not putting the lid down on the toilet seat? Do you REALLY want your girl to fall in? Looking at pornography is a marriage killer. You do not need to look at other women. It will hurt her and degrade her, and it's selfish and pathetic of you.

Your obsession with "being a Man with a capital M" is clearly derived from some half-baked, adolescent idea that chivalry and good taste are out of fashion. It's a wonder you were ever able to marry at all. Maybe you should appreciate your wife and family a little more. I think it would do you--and the wife--a load of good.

I'm sorry you have such bad self esteem issues. =)

Answer 3

I don't know that it is necessarily getting a bad wrap. For starters, women want respect. It's hurtful to know your partner feels the need to look at another naked woman and it's painful when you fall asleep soon after sex because it feels to us like that's all you wanted and the warmth and cozyness afterwards is just not important to you even though you know it is to us. Secondly, breaking the rules with the children when Mom's out and eating out of a can, peeing outside instead of using the appropriate facilities and shooting off fireworks are a terrible example for the children. If you want your kids to grow up to be respectable, intelligent, law abiding adults then you have to show them how it's done. It's not the being a man that is the problem, it's the ignorance of what you are actually telling others without saying a word. The fact that she stays home, has a car, and a house is really nice. Without that car, you'd be missing a whole lot of work running errands, getting groceries, taxiing the kids all over town and the house, well, she shouldn't feel the need to praise you for it. You are in this together, what's hers is yours and what's yours is hers. Respect each other and appreciate one another without trying to justify anything. Common ground is warm and comfortable!

Answer 4

I think watching sports and drinking beer don't necessarily make you manly, because women do that too. Using the F word when you want to be intimate doesn't really make you manly either it just makes you crude. How does your wife feel about that? Dirty, maybe? If she is a certain type of woman she will. Does being manly to you mean that you must disregard your wife's feelings just because you pay the bills? Looking at porn on the computer is disrespectful to your wife, as a matter of fact quite a bit of this is disrespectful period. It also sounds very childish. All of these things seem like something a teenager would do as opposed to things that a grown man would do. Especially one who was raised properly and has respect for himself and others. Is there some rule that makes behaving like a teenager a manly man?

Answer 5

Getting a bad rap from your woman for being a man's man truly has nothing to do with you being that. It has everything to do with their perception of what you should be as a husband and father.

Using the F word when you want to make love reduces the act to using her for your masturbation.. Women want attention and to feel like it’s them you value and not what is between their legs. Of course you do but using the F word to ask for sex doesn’t sound like it.

A lot of the other things you talk about are you living out your childhood now that you can afford to do it. Playing and having fun with your children is one thing, but shooting fireworks when you shouldn't, overpowering a go-cart, and anything else that sets a bad example for your children will get your wife mad...and rightfully so.

Your concept of being a manly man is to be that extra child your wife doesn't need. She needs help with those children to bring them up to be good children. Of course you are doing that in your own way but any time you step outside the bounds of what an average adult male does will and should upset her.

It truly is about two things. Expectation on her part, and responsibility on your part. If those do not come together you have problems.

How do I know this. In many ways I thought just like you when I was young. I didn't use the F word and never had a go-cart but all the rest seemed like a great idea. Now that I am with my second wife and older, I can see the things I did wrong, not only for her but for me.

To be a man does not require doing what most consider manly things. Taking total responsibility for everything in your life and directing your children accordingly is what becoming a man is.

Answer 6

Come on. Be serious. I too am a man. But, I'm not a Tim the tool man. Leaving the seat up isn't manly, it's just inconsiderate. Feeding kids candy instead of meals isn't even manly, it's just stupid. Teaching young boys that it's OK to urinate outside is wrong, in that the kids will probably pee in the wrong place, and may well end up in court for either indecent exposure, or sexual assault, if they pee when some girl can see them. Pal, you seem to be trying to live like some TV show character. Sadly, you'll find that it works better on a TV sitcom, than in real life.

Answer 7

Being a man is fine as long as they can do more then just provide for the family they need to be there for the women as well.If u get what u want as a man then u need to give her what she wants as a women n that usually means going on the way u do but adding a few things like cuddling the odd time after sex asking her to join ya for a beer or see if she wants to be 1 of the guys with u 1 night.Go and be with her n she won't complain do what she needs to not just what u need as a man.There is a lot more to being a man then just acting like 1.Hope that helps and good luck n start noticing her hair or cloths etc thing u normally wouldn't do, do it .bye 4 now.

Answer 8

I don't think guys should get a bad rap for it. I think there are some things you should wait to show your kids until they are older, so they can do things responsibly, like the shooting off fireworks, thats something that can be fun. Other then that just make sure they are respectful and can acknowledge the fact that some people do have problems with that and be flexible with it. Keep your kids healthy and teach them respect and common sense, and a will to be ambitious and to accomplish what they set their mind to. They'll be alright.

Answer 9

Um.... sorry, hon. it rather is particularly not called being a guy. quite some of the flaws you listed are in the dictionary under 'jacka.s.s." I have no subject with observing activities or the go-cart ingredient. and that i'm fascinated in you letting the toddlers rule the homestead while your spouse's long previous. that's what Dads are meant to do. that's what I used to love approximately my dad. Fireworks? decide for it. employing the F observe once you're intimate is like telling your female to experience like a whore. no longer putting the lid down on the rest room seat? Do you particularly need your female to fall in? observing pornography is a marriage killer. you do no longer could desire to look at different women folk. it rather is going to harm her and degrade her, and it rather is egocentric and pathetic of you. Your obsession with "being a guy with a capital M" is obviously derived from some 0.5-baked, adolescent thought that chivalry and robust flavor are out of trend. that's a ask your self you have been ever able to marry in any respect. maybe you are able to desire to savour your spouse and kinfolk slightly extra. i think of it might do you--and the spouse--a load of robust. i'm sorry you have such undesirable self esteem themes. =)

Answer 10

the 'f' thing ??thats how u refer to being intimate??
not putting the toilet seat down when u use it
and porn r about the only things i can understand your wife really being pissed of with as 4 falling asleep after the 'f' thing well thats just a typically male thing to do but why do men resist the urge to fall asleep when u do the 'f' thing in the middle of the day or 1st thing in the morning or when u do it anywhere different can u answer that??

Answer 11

Personally the things that you think make you a Man I do not find attractive and would find it repulsive if my husband behaved the same way. Also teaching your children that the law means nothing if you don't get caught is a slippery slope.

If your wife is satisfied with you then that is her choice, but I think some of your behavior is irresponsible and repugnant. What you described was the stereotypical "red-neck" behavior and thought process.