What is a Trial Separation?

Question

I've been told by a few people to attempt a Trial Separation from my wife...things have been rough for a few years and all the counselling and other things we have tried always bring us back to the same spot....We really don't know why we're together (when we're doing good we know why, but we fight more often then we get along!)
Anyways, what is a Trial Separation? Does living in the loft count (it's currently a guest house, and has everything but a shower and laundry facilities) The only contact we would still have is if we're in the Laundry room together, when I go to the house to shower, or when the kids would travel from the house to the loft (above the garage).
Or do I need to be away from the house completely?
How do we arrange for me to visit the kids?
We work together too, so I guess just leave conversations to 'business only'?
And how long should we try this separation for, to see if we really want to be together?

Answer 1

It simply means to live apart temporary. Based on your writing, it seems like a trial separation is just a delay before filing for divorce.

However I respect you for doing everything possible before calling it quits..

Good luck you...

Answer 2

You should talk to a lawyer. Most will give you a consultation for free. A good place for general info is www.divorceinfo.com and you can get info on Trial Separations specific to your state.

here is the info regarding Trial Separation in Alabama:
A trial separation may allow the spouse who wants the divorce (whom I call the "leaver") to experience some of the feelings of being separated without making a final decision to divorce. The main advantage of a trial separation, of course, is that it's easily reversible. You can try it for a while, go through counseling, and then reconcile, or you can try it for a while and then proceed with divorce.

If you and your spouse separate, you can do it one of two ways: an informal separation or a formal legal separation. An informal separation is basically whatever the two of you agree for it to be. Typically, one of you would stay where the two of you were living before, and the other would move into some other quarters. You typically wouldn't make any formal property division, but you would agree (again informally) on some kind of working arrangement about possession of things like cars, the bank accounts, the credit cards, and the stereo.

A formal legal separation is more permanent, more complicated, and more expensive. It's also much less common. It's nearly as expensive as a divorce (sometimes more so, because it's less common, so you have to pay your lawyer to scratch his or her head and figure out how to do everything). And often people who get a formal legal separation wind up having to go through all the pain, time, and expense again later to get an actual divorce.

So why would anyone go through a formal legal separation? Some states require that a couple seeking a divorce have been separated for some period of time, so maybe it's needed for that.
Some couples need to be separated, but they need to remain legally married, perhaps so one can continue to be insured for medical or other purposes by the other's company. Formal legal separation makes this possible.
Sometimes there's no question that the couple is moving toward divorce, but they know it will take some time to work everything out. If their incomes are substantially different, it may be worth it to develop a written separation agreement so the person paying alimony can deduct the alimony on his or her tax return. The paying spouse might be able to pay the receiving spouse more than enough to pay the tax on the alimony, and still come out ahead.
Sometimes one of the spouses has a religious objection to divorce. A formal separation may allow the spouses to remain married even as they live apart.


Beyond that, there may not be much of a reason to go through the time, pain, and expense of a formal legal separation. Better perhaps to agree to reach a working arrangement for an informal separation. You can then follow it up directly with either reconciliation or divorce.

Answer 3

A trial separation is an un-official separation from each other. It works best if the only contact were for your kids. The idea of it is to test your feelings for each other under the concept that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I have never done this. Once my first wife and I separated it was a one way street. However in my case it was because of infidelity on her part and there was no reconciling that.

They can work I think. But there has to be love somewhere there for each of you but just out of site. If the love is gone from either or both of you this will not work. However it will ease you back into single life before you make it official.

It is a good idea but the less you see of each other, especially at first, the better.

Answer 4

Separating isn't bad as long as each are confident the other isn't messing around with someone. You living close would be good, just limited time together. Basically, if arguments starts, it gives each a place to escape to until things settled down. Could lead to reconciliation; just as long as there is still comittment and not fooling around, and no partying. This is serious business and you don't want to screw up. Because if either messes around it will be the beginning of the end. It aint pretty.
So separate with good intentions, while working on resolving the issues. Don't use the separation to play games with each other and try to make each other jealous. This separation and time is to work on getting your act back together and resolving the issues. No-body is wrong; just different. Work on getting along and respecting each other's opinion.

Answer 5

Usually a trial separation requires one person moving out for an extended time to see if you really want to be alone, or if your relationship is strong enough to pull the problems. While on paper it seems like a good idea, I have rarely seen it where the people get back together. Me and my ex tried it, and all it proved to us was that we were happier without each other. I am sure that is not the truth in all cases, but most people might as well cut ties and go on their own ways... Sorry to hear about your problems.

Answer 6

Trial separation is being apart from someone for a certain amount of time to see how it works being separated.
They say that absense makes the heart grow fonder. I would not use the guesthouse as you are too close to your wife that way. You should probably stay with a family member or get a motel or something for about a month. About the kids situation, I would make an agreement with your wife about visitation.

Answer 7

if you are puting each other tho hell ...........why ...be to geather .........you both need to sit down and talk to each other .......if you really love each other or not but if you love each other than start acting like it or move on see you say you love each other .......then act like it cuase if you love each other than you should both be thinking you got the better part of the deal ( ie they are your better half) etc a

(happy marriage is when both ppl think they got btter than they derserve)

and it sounds to me like you both think you got the short end of the deal worse part of the deal and are sad about it and are taking it out on the other that is not love let the past be the past and by gones be gone and start fresh or move on life is too short to kill each other with your tounges daily cuz it really will kill you someday down the road stress makes you fat and being fat will slowly kill you (ie) it will slowly kill you ( GIVE YOU A HEART ATTACK ) i KNOW I HAVE SEEN IT HAPPEN TIME AND TIME AGAIN WITH PPL trust me!!!!! gives you poor health but if you treat the other person in the realtionship like royaltiy then they will also treat you as good you reap what you so but you make the first move to be nice and It will wear off on them think about the way you treated them when you first started dating ok I get up every morning even if I worked late the night before to fix my hubby breakfest and I would even serve him in bed but he don't want me to do that and he always helps with lanudry and dishes and we go shopping for grocries togeather we can't get enough time togeather we spend 8 day holiday 75 % of it was in the bed room and the rest was buy food and eating and showering for 8 days stright that was a year ago and I still melt when he kisses me I call him sexy and he is too me even tho he say I need glasses cuz he is fat and bald but he is not fat and I love the no hair look he is solid and in my eyes all musle

you are killing each other a little more every day so you either stop it get some help from a Head doctor or just move on really be for one of you or both have a stroke or nervouse break down etc etc !!!!!! etc!!!!!


It is possible to have a marriage with a man and never fight I have that!!! really him and i have been married since this summer now and they have been living togeather since 01/15/06 and not one fight or every been mad at each other!!!! we agree on every thing we make most ppl sick with are kissy kissy face and stuff too we been in love for 24 years!!!!!

If you are having problems in the bed room check out this site and the problems will be gone!

http://www.tryliberator.com/

Answer 8

Trial separation means you live in some dump while your wife has strange men in what used to be your bed.
GO FOR IT!

Answer 9

In my opinion, trial separation is just a delay in the big "D". It is a time she will probably use to find a better deal. Good luck

Answer 10

Trial seperation means you seperate long enough under the illusion that you will get back together. However it serves as a moral pressure release to give either one bravery to take the final seperation step.