I was separated in November of 2005, permanently. No relations, barely any contact, just for kids etc. I obviously took time out NOT dating for me and getting clear etc. I consider myself divorced, obviously.. she does also, and is even practicly having my 2 boys call a new boyfriend "Step-Daddy"! Fine..
If people ask me if I am married or divorced. Is it ok just to say divorced?
I mean I do not want to have to go into the details of our divorce is going to trial etc..
Esspecially in dating.. can I just say divorced?
I think separated has a different conotation in that the couple may or may not get together. And me/we are not. 0 chance.
2007-01-08 07:23:37 · 44 answers · asked by DanjoHart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes and no.
Initially, just say you're divorced. Don't complicate things by telling her all of the gory details. It might scare her away.
After a few dates, if things start turning serious... you need to open up on the details. Do it gently--tell her that the divorce is pending, that there is no chance, so on and so forth. You don't want her to find out the hard way--that would not look good on your part.
Honesty is great, but everything in moderation. No reason to ruin things from the get go! =)
Besides, there's always the chance that you may only see that person once or twice before you decide to move on. Why involve that person in all of the messy details? Save both of yourselves the trouble.
2007-01-08 07:29:29 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I do believe you are still married but only on paper if you did not get a lawyer to put the divorce into action it takes one year to the date of filing then another few months with a lawyer after that if you did not involve a lawyer it takes up to 5 years .Be honest with people you date .If you ever find that right one again she will need to know that you cannot marry again till the paper work is done and 5 years for some is along time >Good Luck be sure to dot all the I's and T's.
2007-01-08 07:32:30 · answer #2 · answered by Donna Marie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Coming from a woman who was in your shoes I would not recommend saying Divorced especially in dating. I would tell them you are separated and that the divorce is proceeding but not finalized yet. If they ask more questions just tell them that your ex is dating someone new and has been for a while, that you have both moved on.
2007-01-08 07:34:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Technically No you are not divorced --but you can say you are if you find that in dating it makes you feel less a subject for concern to the one you are dating--but to feel better and truthful too you need to make it real--because lets say you do find a real nice gal --tell her you are divorced and for whatever reason she finds out differently --how will she react?? Will she think you were lying to her or trying to cover up or just cheating on your wife?? People are funny about even white lies--so to be safe I would say you are legally separated (as you are) and going through divorce proceedings--that covers you all the way --
2007-01-08 07:31:38 · answer #4 · answered by skizzle-d-wizzle 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are not divorced until you have the judge signs the divorce decree. It is deceptive to say you are divorced when you are still married. If I met you and we started dating (with me thinking you were divorced) and later found out that you were only separated, I would feel you lied to me and that would probably end our relationship. Honesty is always the best policy.
2007-01-08 07:28:10 · answer #5 · answered by tootsie1115 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
dude - do NOT say divorced. Divorced is divorced married is married. Don't man lie either - be honest. Why start a relationship out on a lie? Unless you just want to "hang out" in that case why would she care if you are married or what. get the divorce.
2007-01-08 07:27:18 · answer #6 · answered by anita c 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess it all depends on who you are talking to.
You could tell someone you are interested in dating, "I'm divorced", but then again THAT could turn around and bite you in the rear!
You know... That ONE wrong thing your new girlfriend overhears, or you slip up and say the wrong thing. Then it turns into the whole, "I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE DIVORCED!!!!", thing.
Next would come all of the "trust" issues... "If you lied about this, what else are you lying about?!!!"
BIG mess! Just get the divorce for real, get it over with and then you can get on with your life!
Good Luck!
2007-01-08 07:35:39 · answer #7 · answered by Matty A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell people you are going through a divorce. Realistically, you are about to go through a big event with a trial divorce, and it's only fair that an innocent person entering your life be aware of where you are in life. Those are issues that are only fair to make clear in a new relationship.
2007-01-08 07:33:01 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't technically say that your divorced if your not. your seperated. What you need to do is go to your local courthouse and file for a divorce. Sometimes *if not all* a divorce proceeding can be pretty nasty with all of the battles from custody to alomony and child support. I know because my parents divorced when I was 10. 11 years later it's still affecting me.
2007-01-08 07:29:22 · answer #9 · answered by socom_goddess 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Until you are divorced on paper you are separated. ANY woman you date is permitted to know what she is getting into, and if you lie about it by saying your divorced you have just shown her what kind of man you really are.
2007-01-08 07:29:18 · answer #10 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋