I love to turn on my wife -bubble baths,massages, trips,and she has never refused me within reason. So what can I do to make her feel vibrant again?
2007-01-08 07:22:08 · 11 answers · asked by BKN 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"Racer X" is partially correct - something in her mind may be blocking her from completely relaxing and getting into the moment - but a couple of the other answers are equally correct - you need to take more time with actual sexual foreplay.
What you are doing - pampering her - is a great start. How about sprucing up your sex life with some toys - trips to the adult store, or other excitement.
Talk to her - find out what turns her on - and understand this:
Sex is 80% between the ears - especially for women.
If they are not turned on in their minds, they will not be "in the mood".
I think it is commendable that she still never denies you when you have the urge or "need" - do you go down on her? Oral sex is direct stimulation to the clitoris - and 80% of women only have clitoral orgasms - so if you are not paying enough attention to her anatomy - just "getting it on", hoping that penetration will get her off - well, there's the problem...
Spend a lot of time with sensual massages - coming extremely close to, but at the last minute avoiding THE most erogenous zones - nipples, vulva, labia, clitoris.
Spend some time "waking up" her breasts, by caressing around the perimeter, and gradually nearing the niple - spend some time along the bikini line - both at the waist, and at the "leg opening" of where the panties would be - and on her inner thigh - getting progressively nearer to her most tender area, but carefully avoiding it, until she almost forces you to go there - or you can feel her hips maneuvering to make you touch her.
After doing this with your hands, replace hands with mouth, and do the same. Take your time tasting her skin - DON'T SLOBBER!!! (yuk...) Gentle soft DRY nibbles and kisses - again progressively closer to the labia and vulva - until you finally separate her outer labia with your tongue, and start to tease her clitoris - GENTLY - with flattened tongue.
You could spend 15 - 20 minutes licking her before she has her first O - women take quite a bit longer than men - especially as they mature - where it seems the opposite with men.
If she gets impatient - try something avant-garde - get some silk scarves, ties, belts, ropes, a bondage kit - ANYTHING SOFT - and tie her to the bed - blindfolded - so the has to anticipate in her mind where the next touch will be felt, rather than being able to see.
Also, maybe buy a glass dildo or two - make sure it's the food-grade glass - heat one in the microwave for 4 or 5 minutes, and cool the other in the freezer for about 10 - make sure than neither are uncomfortable in your hand. If it too hot for your hand, it's WAY too hot for her tender vagina - and alternate between them - watch her jerk in unexpected pleasure - you will soon learn which she prefers - the hot one, or the cold one.
Good luck! It's all about the mind-sex!
2007-01-08 07:38:06 · answer #1 · answered by Michael, Count de Berçon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We can all go through the same motions day after day, etc. and then everything seems the same and then we get bored and lazy.
Slap yourself upside your head, wake up, and bring back the mystery. Surprise yourself by doing something you never thought you'd do for her...ever! INTIMACY...tends to fade away...bring this back for 24 hour forplay. Pretend you two have just started over. Be Creative.
2007-01-08 07:44:43 · answer #2 · answered by Angie L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not you. You can't "give" her an orgasm, she has to "let" herself have them. She needs to discover why she has quit having them. It is physiological? Emotional? Everything from childbirth and having a new kid to menopause, as well as daily stress can make a difference. She should see a doctor to figure it out.
2007-01-08 07:25:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy her something...find out where she likes to shop and buy her something she would not normally buy for herself.
Otherwise, are you trying too hard? Sometimes guys can be a turn off to women if they seem to be trying too hard. It puts pressure on the woman.
2007-01-08 07:25:27 · answer #4 · answered by SM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some times her clock stops ticking...some times you have done all that already and she needs more kinky....try other things that you have not tried before..maybe even some swinging is in order..if you guys are sure of each other...maybe that will get her to not eventually leave you because you cant even make her come any more...
2007-01-08 07:25:59 · answer #5 · answered by Morgy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Extend the foreplay. It take us girls longer to get our heads in the right place to have sex. My husband just takes his time and before long I'm ready to move to the next level.
Good luck to you!
2007-01-08 07:24:46 · answer #6 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to try something difforent if you keep doing the same stuff over and over again it is gonna be harder and harder to make her orgasm
2007-01-08 07:30:01 · answer #7 · answered by Mysterious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you better start working at it that for sure get in there put your face in it or she will be doin' someone else
2007-01-08 07:25:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you ever asked her if she would be interested in a dp or if she is bi curious? could be more to this.
2007-01-08 08:29:46 · answer #9 · answered by oldsoftee2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she just got tired of faking it.
2007-01-08 07:25:03 · answer #10 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋