When does it become appropriate for a couple to get married?

Question

Here is some background information on the couple:
Ages: girl=19 guy=17 (18 in March)
Length of relationship: 2 1/2 years
Both are Christians and want to please God.
Girl is currently in college and the guy is graduating from high school this May and going on to college.

Should they get married anytime soon? Should they wait until they both graduate from college? Should they get married during college? Any other insight?

Thanks!

Why do you say that these people have no "life experience"? These two have gone through so much. The guy's mother died when he was only 10 days old and he has had to deal with a lot in his life. The girl has had to deal with her parent's divorce and a really crappy home life.

I truly believe that they are ready for marriage. They have one of the cutest and most "pure" relationships I have ever seen! I can't wait to be a bridesmaid.

Why does everyone on here assume that I am talking about myself when I post a question? Just wondering... There are some truly wonderful answers here and I wish I could choose many of them as the best answers. Thank you so much!

Answer 1

I feel that is rather young. Yes its great to marry but its wiser to rather have a slightly longer courtship and to be sure. Marriage is a commitment to one another and biblically is likened to the marriage between God and the church. hence it is a sacred thing and not to be taken lightly. its not all about sex either. Remember that when a couple go out together they are not living out the truth. The love is romantic yet all flaws are beautifully camoflaged with the result that when the marriage ceremony is over the truths begin to reveal itself..

Girls mature a lot quicker than guys and girls can be ready for marriage at 18 - 19 but guys are not ready yet.

Personally I would just wait longer. It all sounds so nice and so romantic but I hate to burst your bubble, its a lot of hard work.
Its a big commitment and God commands men to love their wives for a reason and that being that they are easily distracted by other temptations and other women. it goes further and in the same verse in Ephesian 5, it commands women to repect their husbands. Ask yourself why it doesnt say love? That is because women love easily. They are love machines, so there is no problem in that department, but they dont respect easily. Listen to some adults around you. They criticise their men and tear them down and find fault with them, hence there being no respect. Knowing this God commands wives to respect their husbands and both wife and husband are to love and respect each other UNCONDITIONALLY too.

Young people who want to marry sometimes have romantic dreams but the reality of what marriage involves is far from their minds. When young men have not finished playing around and are trapped in a marriage, whether a christian or not, they one day stop to assess their positions in life and stop in horror when they see how trapped they are and nasty problems can happen. I always tell young men to sow their oats and get ready for marriage and where a girl of 18-19 is ready for marriage a guy needs to be 24 -25 to be ready. At 17 he is not mature enough for commitment.

I would suggest you both read books on marriage like Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs as well as WILD AT HEART by John Eldredge. Go to christian book stores and at the same time seek the advise of your Pastor as well.

Enjoy your lives first before you make a permanent commitment to one another. Travel first and do things that you envisaged and then when he is ready you can marry. DOnt be too hasty. Just get good marriage counselling too. Check yourselves too. See if you have any undealt with issues like rejection, jealousy, anger, pride etc and seek couselling on the matter. That way you will not drag things into your marriage with you either.

God bless you. Pray hard about all this first and ask the Pastor and Elders to pray for you too and do what they say, just dont let your hormones run away with you and make you do something foolish.

God bless you both!

Answer 2

You should get married when you can fully support yourselves as a married couple w/o the help of the parents. This includes: rent, utilities, food, cars, health ins, baby or birth control expenses, school expenses or loans, etc. When you can pay for the above that would be the time to get married.

I got married at 22, my husband was in his final year of college and I was working full time.

edit- due to your extra info. given. You need some life experience too. You know the last time I was in a "cute" relationship? I was 14. Adult and mature relationships are NOT cute. You will learn that later.

Answer 3

They should wait until they are older. People change and when you are 21 or 25 you will not want the same things as you did when you were 19. You are both way too young to consider such a commitment. Finish college both of you and then if you are still together and want the same things out of life then by all means get married, but not as teenagers who have no life experience.

Answer 4

Waaaay too young!

Don't get married until you have at least a little bit of life experience to bring into the marriage. Graduate college, establish a career, become grounded in your life before taking on the responsibility of someone else's life.

Unfortunately, most christians get married young because that is the only way they can reconcile having a sexual relationship.

Don't mistake lust for love.

Answer 5

You're both still so young, you should definitely wait until you both graduate from college before getting married. You still have so much to learn, see and experience. Give it time. If your relationship can last through college, then you know you really have something. Good luck!

Answer 6

a million. At what age do you permit your little one to wash/bathe on my own (unsupervised)? 6-7 two. At what age do you STOP permitting your little one to climb into mattress with you or sleep all night time with you and your partner? five three. At what age does it come to be beside the point (if ever) to keep fingers with a mum or dad? Does it make a change if it is a boy or a lady, or if it is with a identical intercourse or reverse intercourse mum or dad? It's on no account beside the point so long as each mum or dad & little one are at ease with it. four. At what age, if ever, do you suppose it's beside the point for a little one to be cuddling with their mum or dad? identical as above five. At what age, if ever, do you TELL your little one there is not any Santa in the event that they have not figured it out but? When they begin requesting matters you can not come up with the money for. This occurred w/ my SIL & her daughter. My neice was once 10-eleven & desired first rate-pricey presents from Santa. She believed that Santa made the toys so it did not subject how a lot it rate. My SIL eventually needed to holiday it to her. 6. At what age do you quit giving your little one time-outs, and transfer directly to an additional kind of subject? eight 7. Do you suppose in spanking your little one? If so, at what age could you now not uncover this to be proper? eight I'm kinda guessing right here. My son's handiest two, so I bet we're going to move those bridges after we get there.

Answer 7

More partiuclarly than age should be the question of how are they going to support themselves, be responsible with the necessities of life, etc. Completing college or obtaining good work may be a necessary requirement for them before marriage.

Answer 8

wait longer and experience life for a while. you are both way too young. in 5 years from now ppl can change and be completely different

Answer 9

too young experience life get married at the age of 35

Answer 10

wait untill you are both out of college and have jobs that way you can have more time together and get to know one another better.