I work and live in the US and have a french gf whom I love very much.We are in a long-distance relationship.We've dated for over a year and things are good between us but lately there have been some problems and i don't know how to handle them.My mom lives with me and doesn't like her.I have tried to talk to her but everytime i end up disappointed.I think she should go back to India and stay there with family where she will be in better health and people.She stays sick here most of the time.I pay for my brother's tution and take care of my mother.But i feel sometimes that i am being held back because i m being forced to live a certain way and act a certain way according to wat my family and mom prefers.I don't want to abandon her but at the same time i want my freedom and my gf who is ready to give up france, friends and family for me.I've met her parents and they r nice ppl.I m only 22 and young to be taking care of others when i can't do wat i want and move ahead in life like this.
2007-01-08 07:10:21 · 7 answers · asked by tiger 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My dad died when i was 3. I don't want to put my mom into some place where she will be among strangers. I know my brother back home will need her more than i do. She worries about him more than she worries about me. I would like her to be happy and spend time with relatives and friends rather than staying with me alone. My gf also thinks the same thing.I dunno wats wrong or right to do. My gf is a great inspiration to me. I feel really happy around her and feel like achieving more than i ever did. But my mom is something i appreciate and want to keep happy coz she went thru a lot for me. I know these two will get along but not well enuff after a while. I am completely lost and having the worst time of my life. Help!!!!
2007-01-08 07:43:15 · update #1
This sounds like a very hard situation. Like you said, you are 22, you need to start YOUR life. You can still be there for your family, and help them with different things, but dont let them hold you back. If they really love you, they should understand. If you love this girl that much and want to be with her, then you should. its not your moms life to live, and your the one going to be living with this girl. Although i have to say that you sound like an incredible person to be doing what your doing, but just remember its not selfish to pursue your own path in life.
2007-01-08 07:16:39 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ AnimalLover ♥ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are sure that your boyfriend/girlfriend really loves you, I would say, be with them if you feel the same way! You will know if your partner truly loves and cares about you from the way they have been towards you during your relationship. I would suggest that it would have been a relationship that has been going on for some time, you know, where you know each other really well and that each of you would be totally committed to "making a go of it" as it were! It's not every day you find your "true love". Your family may "come around" eventually, but of course, they may not! Your family will be gone years before you and if you had chosen them, you would be left here on earth alone! Maybe always wondering how your life could have been with your true love? I feel the love from ones family is important, but it should not be on the condition that you sacrifice true happiness! Surely if your family truly loves you, they would want you to be happy!? All the best! Gill.
2016-05-23 11:45:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mate, even though you are a loving and caring son, YOU will eventually have to take responsibility for YOUR own fate. My advice is do not give in to your family's wishes just because you love them, jeez, they should love you too and should understand you need to make your own decisions towards your life. Why does your mom not like your GF? Because she is non-Indian? I can understand your plight, I am also an Asian although not Indian, but close enough. Our so-caled culture holds us back.
I believe you should caringly but sternly tell your mom that you love her but you will need to take your life into your own hands. You should do what makes YOU happy. You cannot marry another person just so it makes your mum happy in her old age. You love her and show your affection, but you are an adult and should do what you want.
For a start, you could move into a separate accommodation and start living together with your GF and take it from there.
All the best!
2007-01-08 09:53:41 · answer #3 · answered by Calculus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have only one mother in life and she sounds like she needs help. You are young for such responsibility. You didn't mention your dad. Isn't he supposed to be taking care of your mom and your brother's schooling?
How about this idea? Have your girlfriend come to live in the US and meet your mom. If all goes well, marry her and then you will have her help in taking care of your mom and you won't be going it alone.
If mom still refuses, you are an adult in this country and mom can be placed in a senior care facility (I assume she is old enough for Medicare to pay for it.) or send her back to India so you can be free of her and live your own life.
2007-01-08 07:23:43 · answer #4 · answered by Captain Cupcake 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your mama, whats wrong wit you? she been for u since u were born! u cant pick yo girlfriend over your mama! pipo come and go but your mama will always be for you.
2007-01-15 04:52:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should choose your family ;the reason i say that is becouse when your girlfriend leaves you ;your family will always be their for you no matter what
2007-01-14 03:48:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THATS HARD TO ANSWER..BUT THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY..WHO COULD YOU SEE A LIFE WITHOUT. I UNDERSTAND LOVE- ITS A BEAUTIFUL THING..BUT PPL COME & GO. BUT A FAMILYY...U CANT REPLACE
2007-01-08 07:18:38 · answer #7 · answered by HOTCHOC 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋