My mother in law is a total crazy woman she does everythong she can to ruin my relationship?

Question

She always calls me names and puts me down to every 1 including my step kids & his ex's.I am preggo with his baby she tells people it's not his. He respects his mom and refuses to tell her where to go.When i stand up & say something it causes us so many problems.Does any 1 have advise to get her out of my life or get her to shut up.She is miserable and wants me 2 be miserable with her...HELP

Answer 1

My mother was like this, and the only way we could save the marriage was to shove her off (cut off contact). The marriage comes first, and the abusive person is responsible for his/her behavior.

Answer 2

You have to ask yourself why she is behaving like this - could she be jealous because you have her son's attention?

If you are happy in your relationship with your man, and you are determined to have a life and family with him, then you are stuck with her. So, how do you deal with it? It's actually quite simple.

Think of it as a game of tennis. It takes two to play. She serves you the 'ball', ie some horrible insult, and you hit it back, ie, react, deny, argue. Then she can hit it back again, saying something worse. And so it goes. So here's the thing. What if you didn't play? She serves you a ball, and instead of you hitting it back, you deliberately miss it, by either saying nothing, or saying, 'you're entitled to your opinion, I guess'. Just REFUSE to play her game. She then has to try and find something else to fight about, and if you won't play, she looks stupid, and you look dignified.

I've used this technique many times, and believe me, it really works. Your step kids and his ex won't believe anything she says if you are keeping your head high and ignoring her. They will have more respect for you because you will be keeping the peace. The hard part in the beginning is ignoring whatever crazy stuff she might say - but hang in there, because if you won't play, she won't do it for long - she is addicted to the drama, and will have to look for it somewhere else.

Good luck!!

Answer 3

I hope you know that you are the one who is replaceable here. You admit that he respects his mother and refuses to tell her where to go. Right there is your problem. Dump the man, dump the mother in law. Why would you want to be with a man who allowed anyone to speak to you like that, let alone his mother. I know that my husband would have shoved his mother out of his life if she ever insulted me. If you truely want to be happy, get away from him and his mother. Sounds like the mother-in-law has done this before and the son has allowed it. You should respect yourself more than that and move on. That baby would be better off without an idiot for a grandmother who disrespects the mother. Think about that. Good luck and GOD bless.

Answer 4

My mother in law is crazy too. My mom says that my step dads mom was the same. All you can do is keep away from them. Dont talk to her when around her. Ignore her. Just put on a fake smile and act like you know something she doesnt. It will drive her nuts.

Answer 5

The very next time she says anything offensive to you in front of you, take it as a golden opportunity.

Stand up and say plainly and so that all can hear, that you understand how she has never been able to get past her son's previous relationships, that you understand that she may never accept you or your child into her heart, and that is all right with you because you love her son and will put up with whatever is necessary in order to be with him. Go on to say that...Having said that, I have asked that you stop calling me names and speaking about me behind my back. As this seems to be beyond your self control I am going to remove myself from your life and give you nothing further to speak about.

Then remove yourself from her life. Hang up when she calls. Return any notes. Refuse all gestures. When the baby comes, refuse to allow her to see the child without you being present as and tell her this is because you understand that she can not help herself or stop herself from speaking ill of you and while that is fine between the two of you, you have a responsiblility as a an adult to protect your child from that sort of abuse.

Stick to your guns. This woman is hateful and will never shut up.

Answer 6

You've got to tell your husband to stand up to her. He may respect his mom but he needs to respect you too. You're his wife that should be important to him. Ask him if it is, and don't let him get off with saying "of course you are" (and then doing nothing) tell him he needs to do something, bring your kids into it, like it's setting a bad example for them. Tell him he can't ignore his mothers behavior if it is affecting his family. Maybe even bring your baby into it, you're pregnant, you shouldn't have to deal with this much stress, it's not healthy for you or the baby.

If all else tell him respecting someone doesn't mean you ignore their innappropriate behavior.

You can repsectfully tell someone off y'know.

at absolute least you can be happy that she won't be around forever...as cruel as that sounds.

Answer 7

You're not going to like what I have to say but here it goes. You can't change your MIL. Your husband obviously loves her. Try your best to see the good in her. She gave birth to the man you love. She raised him and has loved him for a long time - probably a lot longer than you. If she's acting badly, smile and walk away. She has the right to say and act the way she wants. You have the right to walk away from the room - do it. Don't give her fuel for the fire by also reacting badly. And, don't trouble your husband with this. Trust me, men do not see and hear what we do when it comes to their mothers. He will only see how you are nagging and putting down his mother. One last thing, look inside yourself. Pray for God to change your heart. When you ask God to change you and not her, you'll begin to see a change for the better.

Answer 8

I know it is hard to simply ignore her hurtful actions but try to, and simply tell her that You love her son, and that you want a relationship with him and his family, and you want to put all the past behind you and move on. If she continues this behavior then I would tell my husband that he can have a relationship with his mother and you do not want to cause problems in that relationship but you no longer want to be around her because of the negative why she treats you and the way she treats you so you feel it would be better to agree to disagree on how to deal with her, but if she shows any sign of harming your child when it arrives then she will not be around the child either. and good luck because its not gonna sit well with him

Answer 9

i do no longer consistently trust giving ultimatums, yet now and returned it rather is mandatory. of course you like your husband are prepared to paintings by using this because of the fact in case you were not you does not have positioned up with your MIL's abuse in direction of you. With that being mentioned, i think of which you adult adult males particularly want some counseling. i do no longer comprehend that obtaining along with your husband's brother and spouse may be completely valuable as they could the two experience attacked and take it out on the better halves. At this factor, you are able to desire to take a seat and characteristic a extreme communicate with your husband. i'm useful he's conscious the type you experience, yet have you ever informed him that he has to establish on what the result is going to be? If he does not exchange his habit in direction of you and start up providing you with your place, then you particularly're going to could desire to do away with your self from him and his kinfolk. i comprehend that sounds particularly drastic, yet on the different hand, do you particularly need to stay something of your existence with somebody who's abusive and does not provide you your place? He has some extreme starting to be as much as do and must be prepared to committ to creating your marriage paintings if he's in it for the long haul, yet you are able to desire to set barriers. He won't do it on his very own, so till you start up displaying some stressful love, issues are unlikely to alter. i'm hoping this facilitates slightly. terrific of success to you.

Answer 10

I have a crazy in law also. If you confront her and tell her off it will only make you look like the crazy one. Don't give her the satisfaction of making you mad! That's what she wants!

Talk to someone you TRUST to get things off your chest. Then -just know -people can see her for what she is. If she is spreading rumors and talking bad about you - people will remember that she is a gossip. Also - if the rumors aren't true then hopefully that is all they will remember!

Answer 11

hmm makes you wish that there was something like MTV's parental control for MILs ..yeah sounds bad but maybe she will change when the baby is born and yep marrying a mammas boy is never a good idea-i bet she didnt warm up to her son's ex untill after they broke up ( i think you said something about step kids?-what happened there?) well just hang in there and hope that your man stands up for you. Good luck-there should be law that protects newly weds in my opinion!