He has not worked in years. I am the sole wage earner, and pay all the bills. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, demanding, threatening, all to no avail. I give him $20 a wk. to spend. He takes no responsibility for providing for our family financially, and hasn't for almost 20 yrs. I have a home based business, so don't want to leave. Our kids are grown and gone. He blames me for not "helping him" get a job, as I won't sit down and hold his hand thru the process. I refuse to do this, as it always comes back on me. What steps to take next?? Any ideas would be welcome.
2007-01-08 06:59:28 · 11 answers · asked by Irishgal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would stop giving him the $20. Tell him when he grows up and goes looking for a job you might think of continuing the money. I wouldn't get a divorce though girl unless you feel it is the last resort. You will end up paying spousal support that cost more than $20. It will be half your income. Not to mention you will loose everything. I feel for you girl!
2007-01-08 07:12:45 · answer #1 · answered by hard rock girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's a dh?
Dumb husband?
It is not your responsibility to get him a job, but he has become completely accustomed to sitting on his butt. At this point, nearly 20 years of no job, he probably feels (rightfully so) that he is nearly unemployable. You might actually have to hold his hand through the process as he has been out so long he has almost no idea what to do anymore.
You won't like to hear this, but you let this happen. Now, you have a choice: keep it as it is, or attempt to force a change. Attempting to force a change may result in a divorce. It's up to you.
2007-01-08 15:05:01 · answer #2 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't give him any money to spend. he needs to get up off his *** and find his own job. you are running a business at home, what time do you have to help him do anything. restrict $$$ from him since it is your money. only take care of his needs, not his wants. some people need extreme situations in order to shake them up. or if you are really this unhappy, find a way to leave him and divorce and move on with your life.
2007-01-08 15:05:53 · answer #3 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
blame yourself, for 20 years you kept that bum around and for 20 yrs you let him be a bum you allowed him to do nothing .for 20yrs you have been his everything so know all of a sudden you want to make him out to be the bad guy . why should he do anything know after all these years. your the one with the problem. you have been enabling him for years know you want him to help his self ha ha . good luck.
2007-01-08 15:15:51 · answer #4 · answered by sexyswells42 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
divorce? Or will he get half of everything? Then stop giving him 20 a week... He'll need some money and might do something.
2007-01-08 15:06:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him out!!!! Damn he does not deserve you! If not stop paying for him, charge him for food, laundry services and so on. No spending money f%$& that treat him like anyone else would. Give him a taste of his own medicine hun.
2007-01-08 15:08:59 · answer #6 · answered by ~Divine Mrs. P~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could try working from home.Check this site out for legitimate home based jobs http://www.pcworkathome.net
2007-01-09 10:57:36 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when all begging pleading have failed grit your teeth,divorce him and begin a new rewarding life.time is short why suffer any longer.he can find some group to take him in and coddlehim.stop wasting your life
2007-01-08 15:11:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 20 YEARS!!!!!. Sorry, but I think you're fighting a losing battle. 20 YEARS!!!!
2007-01-08 15:03:53 · answer #9 · answered by convoiceofreason 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they dont make them like you anymore i'll tell you that...i wish you could be my sugar mama...and after all this time..if you cant kick him out...christ what can you really do...might as well save for his funeral....because you'll have to pay for that too..
2007-01-08 15:03:30 · answer #10 · answered by Morgy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋