I have 2 small children with my husband. He won't let me work full time even though I have more qualifications than him. He hates his job, in a factory, he works nights and he hardy sees me or my kids. When I do see him he is always miserable because of work, it's understandable, I wouldn't wanna work nights in a factory. I have said loads of time that I would get a job and he could work part time. At the moment I work in a supermarket, I enjoy it but I would like a more challenging job really. I would be able to earn more money than him, I have already found a job that is £15,000 a year staring salary, and I know somebody who would put in a good word for me there. He won't even look for a different type of job, he won't work anywhere other than a factory. I understand if his pride was hurt if I was the bread winner, he's so old fashioned! it really gets me down sometimes, knowing we could have a better life, but he will always treat me as the dumb house wife, who needs a man!
2007-01-08
06:58:49
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14 answers
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asked by
redikorus
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in
Business & Finance
➔ Careers & Employment
How can I persuade him to let me be the bread winner?
2007-01-08
06:59:18 ·
update #1
Yep I am lucky to have a man who works, it's just I don't see the point in having a family if they never see their dad. I would like him to enjoy life a little bit more. We don't have any days off together, I work on the weekend and he goes back to work on a sunday night. Basically I'd like to have a lie in with him one saturday morning! lol. He even had to work boxing day and new years day and my oldest was really upset about it. He won't train for anything, he doesn't like being in a class room, thta's why he went straight from school to a factory. He gets really annoyed with me when I try to talk about this, I'm starting to get a bit down about it now. Do you think I should be a bit more forceful?
2007-01-08
07:27:42 ·
update #2
lol, and no there is no one he's attracted to there, all middle aged men = )
2007-01-08
07:28:48 ·
update #3
Just do it.
I agree, his pride could be hurt and that isnt a nice thing to do to someone. But if you can help stabalize the family then do it, just communicate that it is for the children.
And then he will be able to find a better job that would enable him to spend more time with the children who are clearly begging for his attention. Make it all about the children. It is obvious that he loves you and the children, or he wouldnt work so hard. They way to his brain is thru his children. What will you do with your children when you are at work? Maybe show him all the responses to this question.
2007-01-08 07:13:20
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answer #1
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answered by Mystie 3
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Mine was like that when we married 30 years ago. I was a teacher and he was an SAC in the RAF. I was paying more tax than he earned! He hated it and like your husband always wanted to be the breadwinner. The killer came when we moved and I had to leave my teaching job. It coincided with me getting a passport and back then, you had to state your profession. I filled in 'teacher' and he said (because I wasn't working), 'you're not a teacher anymore. You're a housewife!'
I can remember being so angry. I think it was only the second argument we'd had since being married and I really went off the top! I'd trained four years and had certificates and degrees blah blah blah!!! On the day I die I'll still be a teacher blah blah .... Poor chap got it both barrels. So he left my 'teacher' status intact, luckily, because the first thing I did when I got to our new home, was get a job - teaching!
Now, I am fulfilling his dream. I've retired and I'm living off his money!
2007-01-08 07:16:02
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answer #2
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answered by Val G 5
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my mom earns more money then my dad. In today's society their is no pride in bread winner. Ask him does he want to live his life miserable in a job he hates. Its best to have a happy life in a low paying job then being successful and miserable. Also its time to get him to see thing in your shoes for a week. You get a job he takes a week off work doing your housework (he may even come to like the idea)
there are 2 of you you have the right to be happy in your job, he needs awake-up call.
good luck
2007-01-08 07:13:11
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answer #3
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answered by dislexic1yen 3
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You should be happy that you have such loving husband, who wishes less work for you. He can do extra qualifications or learn new skills during the day if he wants to get out of night work at the factory. There are various govt. schemes he can take advantage of. Spend your time finding information on this. If all fails you have your offer anyway.
2007-01-08 07:14:26
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answer #4
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answered by mangal 4
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I am a firm believer in 'planting seeds.' Word it in a way that he will eventually think it's his idea. If he hates his job that much tell him that you will go out to work and he can pursue a career in the field he truly enjoys. Ask him what he aspires to be, what his dreams are and encourage him in that direction, perhaps then he will see that you working is a good idea when it allows him to better himself.
My husband too doesn't want me to go out and work but I am happy with that, there is no way (even with my qualifications) that I could make in a week what my husband earns in a day. So I am truly blessed!
Good luck in getting hubby to come round to your way of thinking!
2007-01-08 07:11:54
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answer #5
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answered by DikiDoo 3
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Unfortunately he's a typical bloke, I know best when its obvious he hasn't a clue. If you can get the job, perhaps the way forward is to get a child minder, so you can bring home the bacon while he's working nights. Is there more to his job at the factory than just the boredom. Is he staying there because there's someone who is attracting him?
2007-01-08 07:14:07
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answer #6
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answered by michael k 2
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I agree with you. It's not the 1950's anymore. And you just may need that extra money or benefits for in the future. I wish my wife would tell me that. I wouldn't mind being Mr. Mom at all.
2007-01-08 07:47:35
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answer #7
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answered by cajunrescuemedic 6
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Prepare some figures on your household outgoings compared to both of your salaries then sit down with him and have a chat and tell him how you feel. Seeing the figures of how much better off you would be in black and white may make him change his mind.
2007-01-08 07:06:41
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answer #8
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answered by Ally32 2
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Is he your boss or your husband? sit him down and tell him how it's gonna be.That you want more out of life and you would like him to join you in that life,because you love him.Apply for the job and make it happen,his pride will heal and might even get him motivated enough to try and better his career.good luck.Happiness lies within you,and only you can make it happen!
2007-01-08 07:05:45
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answer #9
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answered by BULL 3
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It sounds like your husband has a problem with you making $, no matter what amount it may be.
Either get counseling or leave him. You have to think about what is best for you and your children as well as his EGO.
2007-01-08 07:11:15
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answer #10
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answered by anerasescovedo 4
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