Well i have a child i gave up for adoption when i was 14 and now im 17 and the parents of my child want me to be a part of my baby's life but im not positive it is a good idea. I love seeing her but i dont want to confuss her. What do i do?
2007-01-08 06:52:43 · 10 answers · asked by jillybill 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Being there for her is a good idea. If it does confuse ehr it will only be for a little while, kids understand t hings like adoption from younger than people think, and if she knows that you are there and around, she wont feel as much like her mum didnt want her (happens quite a lot) you made a good decision. I would keep seeing her.
2007-01-08 06:59:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother left when I was very very young. I really did not ache over it too much until I was old enough to comprehend. You may just want to be a "friend of the family" for several years while the child is young. You have the benefit of making sure the child is cared for and that the child is not traumatized.
The child should be able to handle the situation when they are about 10 or 12. Right now I think it would be very confusing for a kid to be that young and have to understand the "2 mommies" concept. You will also have to be very very careful when they hit the rebellious stage because the child will always want to play one against the other.
I did not find my mother until I was mid 20's. It was a blessing and painful at the same time.
Good luck, I will pray for you in this big decision.
PS- I congratulate you on your decision to give the child a home instead of abortion. This was a very unselfish thing for you to do and it is a blessing to the family and the child!
2007-01-08 15:05:30 · answer #2 · answered by jamocha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had giving a child up for an adoption 3 years ago. I just considered to have the family send me pictures. U really dont want the child to be confused so just tell the family how u feel about the situation. I am pretty sure they will understand.
2007-01-08 16:32:16 · answer #3 · answered by sister 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should see her. Just start out by telling her whats going on. She's obviously still very young, but the earlier you can start the better. She'll grow up knowing how much her biological mother loves her but she'll also know that you were simply too young to give her everything that she needed to be strong and healthy. Things that her adopitive parents were able to give her. Just tell her thats shes so special that shes got two moms that love her. Just be there for her and God will take care of everything. Hope this helps you a little. God Bless.
2007-01-08 15:04:00 · answer #4 · answered by Kristin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take the chance while it's open. If you don't, you'll just regret it later on in life. My mother gave up her 4 oldest and hasn't seen them since. She is regretting not taking the chance when it presented itself to see them. She has been trying for the last 2 years to find them with no success so far. What she is most afraid of is that they will hate her for not being in their lives and will want nothing to do with her. Don't do this to yourself. You owe it to yourself and to that little girl to be in each others lives. She may be confused at first, but will come to understand as she gets older. Good luck.
2007-01-08 15:10:54 · answer #5 · answered by missy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truthfully I think that if you choose to be in her life be there... don't make a decision and back down on it. Either way stay in contact with the parents so that you can watch your child develop and so forth. If a problem should ever arise that they needed something medically that would be in your background you would already be there!
Good Luck!
2007-01-08 15:03:55 · answer #6 · answered by bowzs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its fine to be part of her life. there are more and more people having open adoptions now than ever before. if you want to be part of her life its good for her and good for you. she may be confused but she'll figure it out with your and her adoptive mothers help.
2007-01-08 15:01:39 · answer #7 · answered by His submissive wife 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well do it because when you get older you will want to share the stories with your stories
2007-01-08 14:56:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your heart.
2007-01-08 14:55:10 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go see her she will be happy see real mom!
2007-01-08 14:58:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋