I am 22 year old. I am married to a 33 year old healthy male. He doesn't use drugs and he has a good erection. The problem is he NEVER wants to have sex. I am pregnant now but this started sometime before then. He says it isn't me but this is doing a number on myself esteem. We haven't even been married a year yet. It't to the point where when we do have sex I don't even want to because I feel like he is having sex because he feel obligated, not because he wants too. Someone help me! Does anyone know what the problem could be?
2007-01-08 06:47:57 · 12 answers · asked by Motivated 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A lot of men go through this. It's a negative cycle where he feels pressure to do it, and then fears he can't do it right because of the pressure, so he doesn't, so the pressure increases etc.
Maybe you should back off from him and see if he tries himself? Maybe after you have your baby it will get better.
Sometimes the stress of marrying and growing up is a lot. If it persists he should talk to his doctor, unless you want to live like a nun.
2007-01-08 06:55:50 · answer #1 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first Husband had this problem.....He loved sleeping on the couch and No, I am not overweight, ugly or whatever else.....He had sex once a month and only when He wanted it.....The more I tried the more I heard No.
I tried everything.....I mean everything......He died in 2002 at the age of 33 - Come to find out His Health was the problem. He was diabetic, he had migraines, high cholesterol and depression.
He developed a blood clot......Sounds like your man needs a Doctor. Tell the Doctor everything.......
2007-01-08 06:53:58 · answer #2 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is 34 and experiencing the same thing, once when I asked him he blamed me for nagging because I dared to ask. Men don't realize that they should not get mad and blame because eventually we quit asking and you know what can happen from there. I have never cheated but there are times I consider it. My advise to you is to ask him in a non-threatening or non-blaming way. Just tell him that you are concerned about his health and that you think both of you should get a check up to make sure your'e healthy. Like the person above said, her husband had a heart ailment. I, myself, quit thinking and asking, and now I don't feel like I need to bother with him. Don't let your relationship come to this. It is not a happy course of events when you feel neglected and undesireable. It could be that he is afraid of hurting the baby. Just be happy and confident, he will more than likely pick up on your sex appeal based on your confidence.
2007-01-08 07:03:54 · answer #3 · answered by LaRae 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey has it ever occurred to you that you are pregnant highly emotional and that maybe he is terrified of hurting your baby? Maybe thats all thats wrong. One is super sensitive when one is pregnant. You just show him lots of respect and dont discuss this issue with friends either. What goes on in the bedroom should be kept there. Men dont like their private things being discussed publically.
In marriage the two main ingredients for success are love and respect. Its biblical too. God commands men to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands and both are to do so unconditionally. If a husband witholds love from his wife with time she begins to murmur and moan and complain and nag and criticise and goes into the crazy mode and in return if a man does not get respect which is one thing all men desire, he witholds his love afterall its hard to love something thats disrespectful towards you isnt it. SO my advise to you is buy the book LOVE AND RESPECT by Dr Emerson Eggerichs and read it over and over and over. Also get WILD AT HEART by John Edlredge which explains a lot about men and how they operate and you will find yourself growing in leaps and bounds. Dont live by emotions and by feelings, instead override them and operate positively and confidently. That means dont fear, and trust God with your husband. Be accountable towards him and supportive and only good can come your way! God bless your future together and may you both be a great example to your children.
Praise God for the Internet and the valuable truths that you will recieve from those who care that your life will be great. Choose what is right and reap the right rewards.
Congratulations on your pregnancy and may you have such happiness and jooy from your little angel. God knew yout baby even before it was concieved in your womb. Read Psalm 139.
2007-01-08 07:13:17 · answer #4 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I use to have the same problem as you. I started to feel like i was ugly or something. sometimes i would have to beg him...(how pathetic is that). he would let me perform 4 play on him..NO PROBLEM..but when it came to him doing something for me..oh well that was to much work. i know now that he was just lazy cause i know i am not ugly...anyway ..tell him your concerns and the way it makes you feel. hopefully he can be understanding. Congratulations about being pregnant.
2007-01-08 07:03:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We lose our desire as we get older. I feel I am slowing down and turning into an older man. My hair is getting gray. I have long nose hairs and eyebrow hairs now. I still tuck my shirt in.
2007-01-08 06:53:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't figure this one out. Is he gay? Are you sure? Even if he wanted to have sex and could not perform, there is viagra. Does he look at too much porn?
2007-01-08 06:52:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure he is not seeing someone else. If it is not that maybe he should be checked by a doctor for ED.
2007-01-08 06:52:43 · answer #8 · answered by Dan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know it sounds ridiculous, but when my ex was preggy, i didn't want sex for fear of hurting the unborn baby. that could be his problem.
2007-01-08 06:56:11 · answer #9 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go and see a marriage council.
2007-01-08 06:53:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋