I found pot that my son had hidden in the laundry room.?

Question

What do I do, how do I handle it. He is suppose to be getting his drivers lis. next week (do I cancel his appt?) I was thinking of letting him get it then take it away. He will grounded for long term! I am not sure what to do. It is a very small amount...very small, like for a 1 hitter type of pipe?? I am not going to test him, I am just going to assume that he has used it.

He is a very good kid but lately he has been hanging out with some people who are not good at all and I am sure he got the pot from them.

Any suggestions would be appreciated!

Answer 1

No I disagree with most of the answers here.
Ofcourse I'm a pothead, or at least was from age 13...well 15 on.
I have quit ONCE AGAIN for about the last year or so...

Please hear me out...

I am the first to admit I have wasted 20 years of my life.
now 35 and I have virtually NOTHING.
Besides a good woman who put up with my crap and then said...me or the pot.
Okay, I chose her.
My first step to growing up mentally...
Anyway.
You noticed yourself, he has been HANGING AROUND with the BAD CROWD.
You need to really ask yourself...WHY?
Is Dad in or out of the Picture, and for how long?
Is there possibly an older MALE /Dad figure in his life, who may be harming him in some way...
Personal experience, long story...from my youth...Part of my reason for INDULGING in Pot for so long.
I thought it would MAGICALLY HEAL me, or make me FORGET.
Then you say, you only found a very small ammount.
How old is he?
I suppose 16 if he is to get his license.
This is a NORMAL PHASE.
You need to confront him OBVIOUSLY, but, How MUCH are you in his life???
GROUNDING, yes, if it is his.
There is like a 1 in 1000 chance or so that he is holding it for "little Johnny", cause little Johnny knows his dad will beat the "S" out of him if he gets caught with it.
First ask him if there is anything he would like to talk to you about... If he says, NO...then maybe say... more specifically ,"something that may have been left in the LAUNDRY ROOM".
Then he will know he is busted, and may be more apt to confess freely.
It could be someone elses.
Though you and I both know, that is highly unlikely.
But do not just GO FOR HIS THROAT right off...
That is all I am saying.
Atleast give him the benefit of the doubt.
From my perspective, if YOU FOUND SOME, well then maybe he DOES NOT REALLY LIKE IT, or you probably wouldn't have found any.
Maybe he is having a difficult time fitting in at school...and so he opted to go to the people who ACCEPT EVERYONE, as long as THEIR COOL...
Give him a chance.
Grounding...Long term...What does that mean? okay- none of my business...
Be firm, but be realistic. Drugs are BAD, no doubt about that.
But kids have been TRYING TO FIT IN AND BE ACCEPTED for YEARS.
School is no easy place this day and age, you must be about my age, or a year or two older.
So you know it was not easy then, and it is even harder now...
Be glad it is just pot, and that he is not BREAKING into places.
Get to know his friends.
Make your home open to them, and tell the kids...THERE ARE NO DRUGS ALLOWED HERE.
But give the kids a place where they can come and play on the computer, or video games...and stay IN TOUCH more with your son.
You only have 2 more years , and that is a VERY DELICATE AGE...
Your His Mother, But perhaps you need to try to be a friend, at least, ALWAYS BE SOMEONE he can talk to, come to and confide in.
If you just ATTACK HIM and do not LISTEN TO HIM, He is 16, and He IS just gonna be gone.
(My G.F's boy is 14, and in a lot worse trouble ...14...)
He may have even wanted to tell you himself...
But perhaps you seemed to distant, too busy or just, DIFFERENT to him.
You can tell him, from my personal experience, those friends will turn their backs on you at the drop of a hat...
Most of em.
And when pot is 1st in your life...A job, house, car, and all those other things that seem to make life WORK, Just never SEEM TO BE what you were hoping for growing up. and often never COME TO BE at all...
Forget the 3 story house, and the race type cars you dreamed of as a child...
It is more like..."Couch surfing, and driving a Pinto.
There is Hardly a job around that doesn't do a "P" test before Hire, now there are FIRMS which will TAKE A HAIR sample, and that goes back like 6 months or more...
I wish you the very best.
It only took me 20 years to straighten out...
Hope you can "nip this in the BUD", in a whole lot less time.
DJH

Answer 2

It's not the GREATEST news, but not the worst! Freaking out and locking him up (as some said to do) will just make the pot even MORE appealing! Tell your kid, calmly, but firmly, that, though you're disappointed, you still love him. THEN, tell him he can't hang w/those kids anymore (ask first if he DID get the pot from them!).

Explain that it IS illegal, whether he likes it or not and that it does have side effects. (Didn't you ever have the drug talk with him?! His school should also have given info). Anyway, by your lingo, it sounds like you know your way around a hash pipe! He may well ask you if YOU smoked! If you want to be honest, say yes, but you wish you hadn't and tell some stories about friends who got busted and landed in jail. Also, the penalties are MUCH harsher now in most states!

Also let him know that by doing something illegal, he's dragging YOU into it, which I'm sure he hasn't thought of. He should be penalized, by taking away privileges, but NOT hitting or locking him up (THAT is illegal too!).

If I were you, I'd be a LOT more worried about other drugs he might be trying, like inhalants & alcohol (they can kill you on ONE try!), meth, ecstasy and any other of a slew of drugs far worse than pot!

You and your child need to have serious and ONGOING talks! When I taught High School health, the biggest users of drugs were those kids whose parents avoided the subject until it was too late...

Just stay calm. If you go medieval on him, you'll just alienate him...good luck!

Answer 3

well, I'm kinda young, and speaking from personal experience, i think you should def. talk to him first. he very well likely COULD have been holding it for a friend, and forgot he had it, you say he is a good kid, with not so good friends. i have a ton of friends who smoke pot, but I've never, not once touched it. maybe give him the chance to explain? if it is his talk about the risk of smoking pot and the kind of trouble he can end up in from using drugs, there are quite a few long, and short term things he might want to think about. and i think he should totally bo punished if it def. is his, just to let him know it is not at all okay, nor acceptable in your house!good luck!

Answer 4

Hopefully you and his dad both can sit down with him and ask him a lot of questions. If he answers your questions completely and honestly you will know that it is not as serious as if he refused to answer any of your questions or lies a lot. If he says a lot of "I don't know" to a lot of your questions you will have to tell him that type of answer is not acceptable and his punishment will only be worse unless you get some reasonable honest answers.

I would say to him that since you have found this evidence you and his father will now be taking a lot closer look at every thing he has and does for the next few months. He will have to report in to you and open his book bags and pockets etc for routine inspections and you will be using random drug testing to monitor him to be sure he is not using. For any privileges at all starting immediately he will have to prove to you that he is clean. He will definitly have to be grounded for a significant time period and he will not be allowed to associate with the friends he now has and you will have to clear his friends starting now, but allowing you to listen in on all of his phone calls and see all of his email and text messages. His drivers license will be put on hold until he proves himself to you by comply with all of your current and new rules without any mistakes for a specified time of at least several months.

If you are a Christian praying person and family now is the time for family prayer.

Answer 5

Let him get the license then take it away. Explain to him where you found it, and why you're punishing him. Suggest he either clean up his act or work harder at hiding it. I wouldn't ground him too long for the first offense, kids try stuff. Be certain he knows that you will not tolerate this again because XYZ will happen so fast his head will spin. Then smoke the pot yourself and relax.

Answer 6

The best thing you can do for him is talk to him. Taking away stuff that he really wants will only make im rebel more. Ask him why he did it and how long he has done it. Tell him the effects it has. And make sure he isn't on anything harder... if he is then i would take away everything and send him to rehab. But really there are so many ppl that smoke pot and I know from experence that you cannont make someone quit. Taking away things will only make things harder. He wants you to to be ther for him and understand him. But I would ground him... I dunno.. you can punish him however you feel just as long as you guys talk about it and not yell about it.

Answer 7

Well ask your self did you do this at his age and what your mother would have done if she found out. I did some stupid things as a child like that and I would probably be very upset to know mine was doing it, but like a lot of us we wanted to experiment with things good or bad. And yeah if you found it, most likely he has tried it or is doing it. Just have a heart to heart with and be prepared for any questions he may have for you, like mom did you do this when you were my age. If so tell him well yeah but it was stupid and it got me know where, and it won't make you cool. Then maybe try to find out why he is doing it and where he got it from. Don't be too overwhelmed about what has happened, like you said he is a good kid. We all make mistakes and do stupid things, that is how we learn from them. Goodluck! I hope all works out.

Answer 8

ok its pot, its not the end of the world. dont let him give you that holding it for a friend crap, cuz that never happens, its his and he smokes it, probably alot. just let him know you are dissappointed and tell him after he passes his driving test hes grounded. i would say for a month or so should be good enough. and you dont have to tell him its illegal, im pretty sure everyone know that. i honestly dont see it as that big of deal, i know plenty of people who smoke it on a regular basis and they are functioning adults who go to work and all that jazz

Answer 9

ok lets not freak out tremendously ok. I know how you feel i have a sister who is a major druggie and it is extremely scary, but before jumping to anyconclusions you need to talk to your son. Dont get too upset wiht him although drugs are bad, get realistic almost every teen tries them its normal. You should punish him but you need to make him see you understand how hard it is to stay away from drugs so that next time he has a problem he will feel like he can tell you and not be afraid you will totally freak on him.

Answer 10

But mom I don't know how I got it or I've never done it or I'm just holding it, or its only a little, or...

Don't waste your time testing. It's done. He has to know your rules. If you have a pattern of not going full through with your issued punishment, he will know that and just wait to do more. It's simple, he has to earn your trust again.