Should i give in and let hubby see his son???

Question

My husband and i got married when i was 21 and he was 23.He was an Australian here in the U.S.A as a pro-surfer i think he may have some sort of duel citzenship.Anyway i had just graduated from college and fell head over feet for but we seperated after a year.I shortly after found out i was pregnant with his son so i went and contacted him to inform him.He attended his sons birth and stuck around after for a little bit but we could not agree on anything so we split up.He moved back to Australia and i traveled to England for work and lived there for 6 months.I have traveled all over Europe for work with my son who is almost 7 now.His dad all of a sudden wrote to me stating that he wants visitation rights or co-custody of our son? For the record he did call me everyonce in a while to check on my son never spoke to him though.He sent gifts to my parents house that my son did recieve.

So really he has only spent 620 dollars on his son.I am currently living in Dublin, Ierland and want to go to visit my parents in U.S.A without problems.No one has filed for divorce yet either for some reason.

He never paid child support!

Answer 1

YES!! Try to reach an agreement about visitation, etc. But, your son has the right to know his Dad.

Answer 2

It's up to you really. You have to decide if this man is going to be a positive influence on your child...Boys Idolize their fathers.. espically if he does something cool for a living like a surfer. Also... file for custody right away. You do not want him to take your child out of the country for any reason and they way to stop that is by filing and recieving primary custody with vistiation for the father
Because he has not had much contact with the boy why don't you suggest supervised visits at first and then work your way up to overnight visits if that is what you want. But for Court reasons note down every time they have a phone call or visit or recieve gifts. This gives the Judge an accurate picture of how involved the dad is in his son's life.

Answer 3

Look, lets get this straight out of the box. Mom is not the only one in the world with a point of view and hers isnt always right.

The father, while possibly not a fine example of human beings, is still the boys father. So he didnt behaive as you think proper. Oh well. Just how often to you act or do things the way others think you should. I mean, I dont have much respect for those that have kids out of wedlock, but you probably arent interested in my eveluations now are you? So why does the Dad have to do things you think appropriate or proper. Who made you the deciding factor?

The man is wishing to have contact with his son. You dont need to like it and it isnt up to you to decide when is proper or so forth. That child is half his and we both know it. Be glad that he actually wishes to possibly have a relationship with his Son.

Stop with the silly female things. The child isnt your property, everyone else doesnt have to act the way you like or think appropriate and your son is not a bargaining chip for you or the father to use. If the father is such a horrid human being and never acts as you think he should, then you are no better and have less sense. You mated with him.

Answer 4

Your husband did more then what most men would have. Have you ever talked to him on why it was that way? No matter what you do your husband will always be your sons father and be in your life. You need to ask your son how he feels and let him make the decision on if he wants to see his father. Then take it from there. I was 16 when I met the man that help make me. It was something that my mother and I discussed. It was a let down but that was fine cause I already had a dad. He adopted me when I was three and he is the only father I have. I wanted to met the man that helped make me because I was curious. Everyone wants to know where they come from but make seldom realize that where you come from it not who you are.

Answer 5

You've married to him 8 years and you still haven't gotten a divorce. If he hasn't tried to see that child for all those years , I'd let him visitation if he has child support attached to his wants. There no way a judge will give him joint child custody, he has never but once seen that child. I'd file for divorce seeking full custody with a back child support and a big child support to continue. I guarantee you when he gets those divorce papers attached with all the support, you'll never hear from him again. He don't care about that child are he would have already made arrangements to see him, probably his parents idea for that little request. Fluff him off.

Answer 6

A son need his father. You should sue for back child support and then grant him visitation rights after he has paid his part of the child support. He should never get co-custody because you have raised him for 7 years without the father helping out.

Answer 7

What ever happened between your ex should have nothing to do with your son. He is his father no matter what, and your son has the right to know who his father is. Don't let another child go fatherless. I'll tell you what, maybe your ex is regreting what he did, and maybe its too late for the both of you, but don't let it be too late for your son and him to have a relationship. There are a lot of horrible mothers that take that right from their kids because what the father did to the mother and not the kids. And because these mothers hate the father of their kids they feel that the kids should hate him as well. how sad is that? dont' be like those kinds of horrible mothers.

Answer 8

Regardless of the water over the dam, under the bridge, the lack of support or the state of the divorce. ALL CHILDREN HAVE A BIRTHRIGHT TO KNOW THEIR PARENTS. BOTH OF THEM.
Its part of the deal.

This question is insulting to every kid whose parent was killed or passed away due to illness. Those children did not have a choice. You do not have the right to make the decision to keep him away from his father. To make a an effort to get in the way of that connection is unconscionable.

Answer 9

I'd say the question isn't should he be able to see your son, but should your son be able to meet his father. And Yes, the child has a right to know that his dad wants to get to know him and to meet him.
I'm not talking co-custody. Just visitation. You cant send a child to live with a man he hasn't known.

Answer 10

It would be good for the child. Besides as long as he is not a predator let him help out. Monitor it closely and the first couple or five times spend the time together-all three of you. Monitor and evaluate the situation. you have sole custody but still child need certain influences in order to develope certain learning and social behavoir skills.