When do you use "who" and when do you use "whom"?

Question

I always use WHO and I would rather not sound like an idiot any longer.

Answer 1

Who is a subject, like he, she, they.
Whom is an object, like him, her, them.

The problem is that who/whom is often the first word in the sentence (like a subject) but isn't the subject.

Who received the tickets?
He received the tickets. (who is correct)

The tickets were given to whom?
The tickets were given to him. (whom is correct as the object)

Whom did you give the tickets to?
(better, would be "to whom did you give the tickets?")
I gave the tickets to him. (whom is an object)

Answer 2

To take a slightly different tack, Steven Pinker asserts (in "The Language Instinct") that "who/whom" is going the way of the dinosaur and actually says only pretentious people still demand others differentiate.

(Sigh) I get that. But it does sound just so WRONG when people do it. The related one I hate is "whose" — rightly or wrongly, it makes me ache to write "who's." For instance, "Who's coming to dinner?" but not in "Whose book is this?" But then, isn't it the contraction and not the possessive? Isn't it? Isn't that important? Or... Oh, the agony of an ever-changing language!

Answer 3

Whom is usually used at the beginning of a letter like --- to whom this may concern. or maybe asking someone to whom are you speaking of. Other than that you can use who for generally everything else.

Answer 4

"Who" is usually used when it begins the sentence. If it follows an adverb, then it is "whom" (to whom, from whom).
Another way of looking at it is this:
"Who" is used when asking about the person themselves, "Who was that", etc.
"Whom" is used when referring to the action related to the person, "To whom am I speaking" or "From whom did you get this"
As a rule of thumb, if you begin the sentence with "who" and it makes the sentence end in a preposition, then you should have used "whom" instead with the preposition in front of "whom"
Examples:
Who am I speaking with >>>> To whom am I speaking
Who did you get this from >>>>> From whom did you get this
and so on...

Answer 5

Steve is right on the nose.