Why is it in today's world, it seems no one is happy in a marriage anymore?

Question

It seem's that all anyone does is look at the bad and complain, not look for the good and FIX the bad, instead of just looking for something else?

Personially, I would LOVE to be able to say, "Been married ofr 20 years and still going strong"

Answer 1

I was married 25 years and it wasn't all a bowl of cherries.People today think only more about themselves and the partner is sendonf.But it dosen't sopose to work like that.Until people begin to realize what marriage vows truly mean they will be going through this till the end of time.

Answer 2

That's a good reason. Marriage is tough. I think that people have this expectation that if they get married it will somehow make their lives better. But as long as you're looking outside of yourself for things to make you feel better, you will inevitably be disappointed. The only way we can feel good is from within ourselves - everything else is just temporary.

I think that the "back door" created by the divorce boom in the seventies is part of the problem as well. No one goes into marriage thinking "I'm in this forever." They're thinking "Well, if it doesn't work out I can always get a divorce and try again. Well, if this is the way you're going into a marriage you have already predicted how it will end.

Plus people are just selfish. It's one thing to have no children and get a divorce - oh well, the marriage didn't work out. But when you have children, your selfish and petty little concerns about your husband not putting the toilet seat down should take a back seat to your child. That child should be EVERYTHING to you. But it's still all about the parents' comfort and well-being, not the child's. So if things aren't working out then it's okay to throw the child in front of a speeding bus, which is what divorce does to a child. Don't believe me? Ask a child of divorce.

Society doesn't really embrace the marriage relationship like it used to either. What is society doing to promote healthy families?

Thanks for the chance to ramble.

p.s. - married for 18 years, been with my wife for 21, no kids.

FP

Answer 3

I completely agree, I know marriage isn't easy but people want everything handed to them these days and don't want to work for anything. Marriage is more than him/her doing everything you want them to do and being happy all the time. My parents have been married for 31 years and I know it wasn't always easy or perfect but at the end of the day they did EVERYTHING in their power to make it work because they believed in the vows they said. I know plenty of married people who cheat because their bored, or blame it on a bad marriage. Or the person who complains "he/she is just not the man/woman i married anymore." Well I hope if I marry someone at 25 that they have grown by the time they are 45. There are two people in a marriage and two people have to work to make it stick. Thats why you don't marry someone after knowing them for 3 weeks and then complain that they changed, they didn't change you just didn't know them. I hope that one day there is an entire generation of couples who can say "20 years and still going strong."

Answer 4

I'm with you.. i think it would be amazing to say " i have been married 20 years and still going strong "
........i hate how people are always thinking there is better out there when really there have the best thing they will ever have at home
and don't even know it tell its to late .. people need to remember why they got married in the first place

Answer 5

I think the older married people are happy, its the young whipper-snappers that don't want to put any effort into the marriage, and I'm one of em.

I'm not going to even think about getting married until I'm about 50, because its just too easy to muck it up. At 50, you're pretty much done with playing games and fooling around and stuff. 50 is a good time to be married, not 25.

Answer 6

There are plenty of people who are happily married, its just the fact that some people don't believe in hard work anymore and think that marriages should be disposable like trash. If more people would actually work at marriage and expect problems and try to fix them and not throw it away our society would be a much better place.

Answer 7

here is why-------marriage is an outdated farse that was originally invented to protect a woman and give her stature in the community. it allowed a man to have someone take care of his needs and give him children. these things don't apply anymore in modern times. marriage should no longer exist. it is only a piece of paper that makes it a 3 people party----wife/husband/the state. i don't need the state involved in my relationship, and i surely do not need a piece of paper to begin and/or end a relationship. i'd be just as proud to say i've been in a 30 yr. relationship as i would a 30 yr marriage. its the IDEA of marriage and what it is SUPPOSED to stand for that make people buy into it, only be devastated that the marriage did not live up to the idea of it. but the reason nobody seems happy in marriage is because you used the word "marriage". expand that to include "relationships" and see how many more are not happy! thus, that is the question you should ask.

Answer 8

There are tons of things to fight about nowadays.

Nobody just gives unconditionally of themselves anymore. Everyone wants something in return. That makes people put pressure on their relationships too.

I fight with my wife a lot, but they're just fights, and we move on because we truly love eachother. Find common enemies and or agree to disagree.

People aren't very forgiving anymore either.

Have a great life, and if you're already married then have a great marriage.

Answer 9

Unfortunately the media paint poor pictures of marriage. They make the men seem to be losers and the women are bossy, critical and cunning vixens! WHat they are portraying is the lack of good communication, lack of respect, lack of love, lack of integrity and dignity. THe most important ingredients in any relationship is LOVE and Respect and ironically in the book of Ephesians God actually commands men to love their wives and commands wives to respect their husbands. If neither does their part they seem to go into a crazy cycle and all hell breaks loose. There is disharmony, dissatisfaction, discrimmination, and every thing beginning with dis or dys. Instead of rooting for one another they begin to argue and fight and all the anger and frustration comes out in frightful manners.

All men want respect and love but above love they want to be respected and noted amongst their friends and acquaintences. On the opposite side the women all desire love. IF they dont get love they feel unloved and like flowers they begin to wither and fade and so they also begin to lose respect for their men. WHen the men get criticised and nagged at and spoken rudely to, they merely recede and go into their caves or go out with friends and become vulnerable to temptation. This is all reaction and people on the defensive instead of walking as friends and companions.

Think about it, if everyone in this world decided to quit their childish insecurities and rose above their feelings and emotions and decided to become more accountable to others and considerate and respectful and loving, wouldnt this world be a happier place to live in? We humans are sick and the media is just fanning the flames of destruction and we are swimming with the flow instead of swimming upstream away from the waterfall.

Its time for us to rethink our paths that we are choosing and if every person became accountable, we would find our freedom in peace.

Answer 10

People these days are lazy (with the exception of me!I have been married for 8yrs and that was when I was 15yrs)and at the first sign they have to work at something start hollering divorce and acting a fool.people dont understand marriage is hard work and it takes non-stop hours and years to keep each other happy.If you truly in your heart LOVE someone than you should have no problem working on things and keeping each other happy.