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I divorced my ex almost 5 years because of his physical, emotional and verbal abuse. I am now in a happy and healthy relationship of over a year. We are now starting to talk about marriage. Eventhough I do want to marry my b-friend, I can't help but to feel scared. Is it normal to feel like this? I really don't want to go through another divorce again.

2007-01-08 05:26:16 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

10 answers

of course, it's normal to be apprehensive about getting married again after a bad marriage, it would be weird for you not to feel that way. just take things slow and make sure that this is what both of you want.

2007-01-08 05:32:10 · answer #1 · answered by LoriBeth 6 · 0 0

I think you can learn a lot from a second chance. I sure did. If I hadn't of married Ray the second time, I would have always wondered if there was a chance we could have made it work. We divorced after the second marriage also. But now we are good friends, and we know that we are definitely not meant to be married or lovers. Now it is never an issue. I learned a lot of about communication and about what I am really looking for in a mate, and also about things that I need to work on if I ever decide to get married again. Our son who is 14 has even said that he was glad we tried again, but that we sure fight a lot less now that we're not living in the same house. :) And he is right. His father is very much in his life, but my son is not forced to suffer through our doomed relationship.

2016-05-23 11:14:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It's definitly normal to feel like this. You went through a horrible marriage so that is what you are used to. I've watched my mom go through a divorce and then different men go in and out of her life and because this is what I was used to growing up, I can't commit. I have a Fiance and we've been together for 3 1/2 years but yet I am scared to get married and end up like my mother. Do you see what I'm getting at?

2007-01-08 05:34:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I'm sure it's normal. Everyone is scared - scared of rejection, all of the "what ifs".

What you need to keep in mind is that many people tend to go get the same kind of person over and over - ever notice that some women have like 5-10 abusive men in a row? And some women never do?

I never excuse abuse, but the victim in some cases plays a role in why it happens, because the personality traits that go with a future abuser somehow attract the person to them, or vice versa.

All I am saying is make sure this person is who you think he is. if you need more time, so be it. I wish you well and hope you get along alright with this.

2007-01-08 05:33:10 · answer #4 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0 0

hi there you and i have a lot in common and we have never meet.....but i 2 was in a very nasty marriage like youres for 21 years that is how long it took me to get out of it .....i am like you now in a very healthy and happy relationship....and we are talking about marriage ......and im so looking forward to it .....as the difference between the 2 different relationships are so different .....look youre new man would never dream of treating you the way you have been in the past .....that chapter is well and truley over for you and youre time to have a happy marriage is here ......look you now have control of what things happen in youre life and when things do go a bit wrong as it always does as thats how life is you can take control and change them youre 2nd marriage and mine might well work well and last for ever on the other hand it might go wrong and have to end .....i do not fancy another divorce but the fACT THAT I HAVE CONTROL OF MY DESTINY helps me to move forward and give it a try .....what have i got to lose.....nothing im with man that i love as so are you ......i wish you both all the happiness in the world and that you both look after each other......xx

2007-01-08 05:38:58 · answer #5 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 0 0

Yes it is normal, but don't let the baggage from your first marriage destroy this new relationship. On the other hand if your fears about the new relationship are based on some behavior on the part of your bf that makes you uncomfortable you should address it before tying the knot.

2007-01-08 05:32:58 · answer #6 · answered by a25isha 2 · 0 0

Give it a chance!
The key to a good relationship is communication, so keep those lines open. Talk with about your concerns and find out what his are. What is in the past should stay there. Learnn from it and move forward!

2007-01-08 05:34:43 · answer #7 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 0 0

Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes.

2007-01-08 05:32:19 · answer #8 · answered by fuschiapetitspois 4 · 0 0

yeah it's normal to feel like that, you were abused. but most men are not like that. give him a chance.

2007-01-08 05:31:52 · answer #9 · answered by pooh 6 · 1 0

I think you should give it some more time you will know when the time is right.

2007-01-08 05:33:41 · answer #10 · answered by lad06 1 · 0 0

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