is it wrong to be ?

Question

is it wrong to be friends with your ex husband , the father of your kids, that you were with for 7 yrs, when you have a new husband who wants you to hate him, and not talk to the ex hubby? I dont feel its wrong to be friends with the ex hubby esp when kids are involved, we are already having problems cuz of me and the ex talkin or convo about things , nothing sexually or relationship kinda talk , just talk as in life talk, kids, things like that, but my new one isnt liking to much!! what should i do, or how should i approach this matter ?

Answer 1

i speak as someone who comes from a family much like yours. my mom and dad have been separated for quite some time. they're soon to be divorced. but they are currently friends now. they have had they're diferences in the past but it's safe to say that it's all behind now. if you were to see them in the street you would think that they are old friends. speaking as a child, i think a healthy friendship with your ex husband is not truly bad. it means that two adults with a rocky past have decided to put it all behind them and be friends. nothing wrong with that. besides you should take into consideration that it would be better for your kids that their parents get along. i mean they already are divorced and im sure that has/will affect them, it would be terrible to on top of the divorce, throw in that they despise eachother. it's terrible feeling like you have to choose between two of the people you love most, even if they're not being forced to choose. i suggest you talk to your new husband about this. like you said, there are children involved in this, YOUR children, and they deserve a happy, harmonious family. it will be better for them to see that everyone gets along. if you would have mentioned that your ex was a good for nothing terrible dad, i would tell you easily to cut him out of your life. but you didnt mention anything like that. besides, your kids are his kids too. he IS their dad. hey, last time i heard, there was nothing wrong with having two dads.

Answer 2

There are many cases where a marriage fails or even a relationship and the two people remain friends because that's all they can be. There is nothing wrong with being friends, you have to be for the children. If your new hubby doesn't trust you with it, then he has insecurities that he needs to work on. You shouldn't hate a person just because they are your ex. You need to sit and talk with him about it, tell him he has nothing to worry about. One of my best friends is still friends with her ex-hubby and they didn't have kids. They just realized after 6 yrs of being together that they should have remained friends. I think it's great that you and your ex can be civil with each other, kudos to you!

Answer 3

No it,s not wrong to be friends you both should be co mended for the effort I don,t know what your new husband problem is well yes I do but tell him to relax your with him now and you wont be going back with your old husband as a man I know why he does not want you around him it,s because you had a long history with him and he knows what a wonderful woman you are I understand but when you have kids with some one you will always be connected always tell your husband this just look at it this way when you want to get a way you have a baby sitter he can be a big help to both of you and the kids will have two daddy's now how great is that good luck

Answer 4

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being friends, it makes the childrens lives much easier. Alot of people get divorced simply because things arent working out. Adults can end a relationship without being enemies. Your new hubby is acting very unreasonably. Remaining friends with your ex will take alot of stress off your kids at sporting events, graduation, marriages etc.. You should be proud that you are mature enough to get along

Answer 5

U should be civil with the ex cuz of the kids but he is an ex for a reason, and u should spend more time and affection on the new hubby.

Answer 6

You need to let him know. That you are married to him. Not your ex. There is a reason he is your ex. But not many couples are as civilized as you are with their ex's and you should be especially when the kids are involved. They deserve that their parents can be friends after it ends. Just talk to your husband so he knows how you feel about him. and your ex. see if that works. Reassure him that he doesn't need to be jealous. and then just try to limit what you talk about and how much time you spend saying it.

Answer 7

It's not wrong; it's mature and the best thing for the kids! If your new husband is uncomfortable with that, it's probably because he is insecure in your relationship. He knew when he married you that your ex would be in your life because he is the father of your kids.

Answer 8

So you are capable of ending things on good terms, yet the new hubby doesn't dig this? Time for a re-think.

New Boy needs to understand that you have a past, and he will have to live with this. If nothing else, it is far, far better for your kids for you and your x to be on good terms. I hope he isn't trying to poison them against their dad- this can be teh fast lane to Evil Step-parent-hood.

If he can't come to terms on his own, suggest a good marriage counsilor. If he gets wigy over any male friends, give him his walking papers

Answer 9

I admire that you and your ex can still communicate like that. Your new husband is being selfish to act like that. He should have never married a mother if he didn't understand that your first priority is your kids. That includes their father, whether he likes it or not. You will forever be linked to him and your husband needs to figure out how to deal with it.

Answer 10

your hubby just needs to deal with it cause he's still your children's father. you guys will always be connected because of the kids. plus you hubby knew all of this before yall got married, so why is he trippin now?