What should I do when it comes to her?

Question

I am a 40 year old male who is not interested in his wife. We've been married 16 years and I no longer have feelings for her!! The only thing I feel for her is sorry. When we first married she was slim and did everything for me. Now she has packed on the pounds and is a lazy cow!! I Can not stand to look at her. I haven't told her how I really feel, yet I think she already knows. When she does ask I blame it on her. I tell her things like, "It's in your head", "Your just being jealous", "If you would______". I really don't want to deal with it. I am in school full time, I work full time, so why should I have to come home to a lazy fat woman who does nothing for me? If she would lose some of the fat and get off her behind, then maybe. Until then I use whatever excuse I can to stay away, even church.

Answer 1

perhaps its all the negative you say that depress her, she sounds depressed. maybe if you spent more time with her instead of hiding away then she would have reason to want to look and feel better about herself. you are being very harsh. women can sense when they are no longer loved or wanted you are breaking her heart

Answer 2

You need to have a talk with her. You used to love her, so you still can, hope isn't lost, it just got fat. This happens a lot to married men. You just need to tell her she is not making you happy anymore and tell her what you want her to do. And also listen to her, if she wants something from you, do something for her. Give her a chance to change. It's only fair, you married her! Instead of doing it in a mean way, try to help her. Go get the both of you a gym membership and start working out TOGETHER! That way you get to know each other again while she gets skinny and you get some muscles! She'll like that! And find her a hobby. Since she is so lazy, get her interested in doing something like painting or maybe she can start a small home business! But the main thing is you need to tell her how you feel in a nice and honest manner and then help her follow through. Don't demand or threaten. Chances are she will want you to want her, and she will start getting off the couch.

Answer 3

You first need to stop the blaming. You obviously married her because you love her. And there is no need to put her down. You need to look at your self and ask what did I do to get her that way. and why besides her weight. am I not interested in her anymore. Your vows were not "To Love Honor and Cherish until she gains weight and becomes lazy. So don't be a jerk to the woman u married. Try to fix the problem and help her not make her feel worse.... GOOD luck

Answer 4

Instead of insulting her, why don't you try to encourage her to lose weight. Your insults will only make the situation worse. So what if you are working full time and going to school. I am working a full time job, part time job, and going to school part time but I still find the time to exercise and do healthy weight loss activities with my roommate. yes your wife may have packed on the pounds but that still is no excuse to insult her like you do. If you cannot stand to look at her then maybe you should look at yourself before you start pouring on the insults. You can start by walking for at least 30 minutes with her. If you want that slim body back, then you can start by re-evaluating you own home. do you have junk food, get rid of it. do you have any exercise equipment, get some. maybe you can start by setting some healthy examples. but if you have such a problem then maybe the problem is you. it's not fun to be at the opposite end of jokes and insults when you are overweight and know that that person knows is overweight but wants to lose weight. have you tried talking to her to see if she wants to lose weight? maybe she does, but doesn't have the courage to do so right now. maybe she is jealous. but that still is no reason for you to treat her like dirt.

Answer 5

Now start treating her how you want to be treated and give YOUR WIFE some respect man! Irrelevant of her weight (which is obviously an issue for you because you are so angry about it!) all your doing is making the situation worse for gawdsake can you not see this???

Treat her how you want to be treated instead of being a presssuring control freak! Talk to her about this (and supress your anger be a gentle-man!) and instead of letting your resentment talk to her you talk to her as a husband whether you love her or not because at the end of the day she is and you need to sort this out.

If you can't keep your anger to yourself, do yourself a favour and seek relationship councilling either way 16 years is a long time there is probably a lot of unheard anger and resentment you need to talk about.

I can see your wife is probably about suicide mood and she probably needs you! I would be if I had you saying all that to me! (and obviously I was female!:)

Good luck!

Answer 6

She sounds like she is depressed.

You need to make a decision for yourself, if what you have(or had) Is worth fighting for.

After you have made that decision- then follow through.

You both got to this situation together, it wasn't just her , or just you . You both can change this , fight for it- In my opinion, a relationship of 16 years is worth keeping.

Staying away is only going to make things worse, make her feel bad, and deepen this problem. Take responsibility for it and help change it! Life is way to short to spend it unhappy, and making someone else unhappy.

There is a reason you married her, she is still that person... don't give up.. start changing things today!!!

Answer 7

If you don't have feelings for her then you should get rid of your marriage, its not fair to either of you to drag it out. Second a lot of the failure on this falls on you. You aren't honest with your wife about her not helping out with you. If you want her to lose weight try to help her by suggesting more active things for both of you to do. You don't have to love her to care a little bit about her welfare. However, telling her its all in her head is harmful to her emotional health later on. Spare her feelings and don't tell her your divorcing her because she's fat. Just tell her you guys grew apart

Answer 8

God become very particular even as he gave over one hundred prophecies contained in the OT about the first coming of Jesus Christ. They were all actually fulfilled even as Jesus got here the first time. for this reason I honestly have large self belief contained in the prophecies with regards to his second Coming. The Bible tells us that Jesus had to be born in Bethlehem. The call of the city become given thousands of years in the previous Christ become born. He could also be born of a lady who turned right into a Jew. Mary's kinfolk tree incorporates Jews. The Bible also says that the Messiah might want to be pierced (as Jesus become on the go), and many different prophecies. The events that could take position even as Jesus comes lower back have not handed off. even as Jesus comes lower back, he will pop out of the sky, shining staggering so as that no you are able to nonetheless omit Him. the sky will be darkish on the time, so each eye will see Him it appears that evidently. Your question is a good one. it really is responded by way of taking note of the particular information about the shape given contained in the Bible. all of us comprehend the Son of God, the Savior of the international, the choose of the living and the useless has come because of the quantity of prophecy he completely fulfilled. all of us comprehend Jesus has no longer come the second one time because the events have not spread out contained in the way the Bible states.

Answer 9

If you are not interested in her, then stop wasting her time. A woman (no matter what her weight) deserves someone who repects her, and you clearly do not. Saying that you would "maybe" stay with her if she lost weight is tacky and arrogant. You wouldn't be hurting her by leaving, you would be doing her a favor.

Answer 10

OMG!!!! Why wouldn't she turn to food for comfort and solice. She sure isn't getting it from you. Instead of downing your wife, figure out how you can help. I guess you could leave her....right there she would lose over 100 pounds of what is dragging her down.