What do you do when your pregnant sister says mean things to and about your children?

Question

My sister is pregnant and grrr I can't wait till she has the babe, awe, but grr cause she is so mean, not only to everyone around her but most of all to my children. I think she might be scared, it is her first, and looking for flaws in everyone, hopeing that her baby will be perfect. I try to be understanding, do to the pregnant hormones, but it really hurts my feelings!!

Answer 1

She may not even see what she is doing. I wouldn't be so quick to just blame the hormones, yes it does make people more emotional, but it shouldn't be a write off for bad behavior.

If it was me , I would take her aside when you two are alone , and tell her honestly what she is doing is hurting you , and that you want to be there for her, and keep a close relationship ,but she is going to have to stop being so judgmental.

Honestly is the best way to go, it may be hard.. but in the long run it keeps things clear , and if she doesn't realize how she is affecting other people, she needs to know .

Good luck to you ! Sisters can be hard to deal with even when they aren't pregnant, but they are nice to have, and it sounds like she is going to need you !

Answer 2

At least you understand what pregnancy hormones will do to a person! She is probably scared of what her own child is going to end up like. It is scary being a first time Mother. There are so many things that could go wrong, it scares you. Try to understand, and if it still bothers you sit down with her and tell her how you feel. Maybe she needs to get things off her chest and this would be the perfect opportunity to do it.

Answer 3

You could use the threat my mom used: Just wait, someday you'll have kids just like YOU! Say this when she's at her meanest. Thanks mom, I have three now. :)
Or, because she is pregnant, be gentle with her. When she says something mean about your kids, show the benefit of the behavior. Then say, kids are never perfect. Or remember the first time "johnny" walked to you? Wasn't he so sweet then?
Or you could take someone else's advice and in that moment she's being mean ask her what's really going on with her. Is she afraid she wont have the patience to deal with kids so active? Maybe she's afraid she can't handle it like you do. Is she your younger sister? Try telling her your fears when you were pregnant and now, and times you thought someones kid was awful. Let her know that when you have more than one and they get older you learn to pick your battles. And maybe, just maybe, she's right. Do your kids behave badly? You can't be upset at her if it's true. If the kids upset her, just send them out to play when she's over. Or say, "Emily" is just being a ? year old again. See what you have to look forward to? Good luck!

Answer 4

Don't avoid her. She IS full of hormones right now and she IS scared. Try to ignore her comments. Cut conversations short as soon as she is rude or better yet, before she can be rude. Write her a tactful letter or e-mail telling her how you feel, but make sure you aren't too negative and mean in the letter. Hopefully after she has the baby she will be better and see that no kid is perfect.

Answer 5

That is exactly what it is. You nailed it! Fear and looking for flaws in others.
I understand that yes, she's pregnant and hormones are very real, but gimmie a break!! She's picking on your children!!!
That takes a very small person!! If I were you I would tactfully bring it to her attention and if she acts out about it, that's HER problem.
Hormones make you feel wierd, but they don't make you stupid.
She should know better as a grown woman than to act like that. I bet if you ask her to stop, she'll at first react, and later think.
You have to keep her away from your kids unless she changes her ways.

Answer 6

I wasn't like that when I was pregnant! I think a lot of people tend to blame things on being pregnant... but in reality, that's just who they are. Not saying your sister is always like that, I don't know her. Maybe you should sit down with her and tell her how you feel. Tell her she's not being very nice to you or your children, and you don't wish to be around her when she's acting that way. And you definitely don't want your own children around that kind of behavior. Let her know how you feel, but that you won't tolerate it. I know it may be hard, but she needs to learn somehow to stop being so rude to you and your kids.

Goodluck!

Answer 7

You should put a stop to that right now. It does not matter if she is pregnant or not she down not hav ethe right to put down your children and if it continues I would suggest you tell her that she can not come around you and your family again until she has her child and can respect you.
It sounds like she is full of insecurities about herself and want to direct her anger at others. DO NOT LET HER>>>
You are your childrens voice in this matter and you need to put your foot down.

Answer 8

I would have a serious but calming discussion. Maybe it's her hormones, since she is pregnant. That is still no excuse for her attitude. Just gently tell her those words are hurtful and it makes you sad she thinks that way.

Answer 9

Wow, tough time for you and her. You need to sit with her when she isn't in one of her moods and tell her how her words are hurting you and your kids, most importantly. And that if she starts behaving like that you will either leave or have her leave. Once she has the child she will be much better. But watch her for PPD.

Answer 10

OMG...you and I are going through the same thing. I find my sister to be very mean to my children so sometimes I tell her to relax or her kid is going to be just as bad as she thinks mine are probably even worse. And sometimes I kid around and say you just want your baby to come out looking as good as mine.
But anyways yes it is a harmone thing it really sucks, because we seem to be the easy target.