I was raped & now im pregnant.I didnt go to the police cause i was scared..What should i do?

Question

i was raped 5 months ago and i didnt report it cause he knew where i stayed and i was scared i didnt know what to do..So i moved out of the state..i jus found out 2 months ago i was pregnant..I dont know what to do..i dont believe in abortions or adoption..and im scared that if the babys father is the rapist i will mistreat him..and my boyfriend believe that he is the father and im scared to tell him that he might not be the father..Im So confused can someone help me..y me?

Answer 1

Just tell him the truth. If he was serious about hurting you he would've did it then. Don't live a lie for something that was beyond your control. It's one thing if you went out and had sex with someone and got pregnant from your own negligence, but it's not. You were forced into this situation. Also, if you are 5 months pregnant you basically have no choice but to keep the baby. Tell someone that person might be doing it to someone else right now. Even if you don't want to go to the police you should tell him. Don't let him walk around thinking this is his child.

Answer 2

The first thing you should have done was go to the police, tell them you were raped and that you need protection because that person knew where you lived. Chances are he would have been arrested. This way, your boyfriend would have known and could have been supportive of the situation assuming that he is an understanding person who would have realized that you didn't want what happened to you. Since it is too late for all that, if you decide to keep the baby, try to remember that it isn't the child's fault. If you really think that you might mistreat the child then you should really consider giving it up for adoption. Good luck sweetie.

Answer 3

If you are afraid you'll mistreat the baby if it's father is the rap[ist, then you probably need to give it up for adoption, so that it can have a loving family who won't care who it's parents are. You could have a paternity test done to find out for sure. Either way, I would talk it over with your boyfriend and let him know what's up. He might not care who the father is as long as he can be the daddy. And if he does care, you can give the baby up for adoption, if you're 5 months along, it's really too late for a safe abortion, and you can tell him that if he presses for that option. I would find out how far along you are, if it is less than 5 months it is probably the boyfriend's, an ultrasound will tell you how old the baby is.

Answer 4

Why don't you believe in adoption? I can understand abortion. But why are you going to have this baby and (possibly) treat it like dirt because of the way that you were treated by this man.

Here's the deal: you can go to the cops and cry rape. I believe that you were raped. the issue about it though is if you say that you were raped, it's been 5 months and you didn't say anything. Any type of incriminating evidence (e.g. semen) was washed off when you bathed and cleaned your clothing. So, unfortunately, rape will probably not hold up in court. If you think that you are going to be an unfit parent, don't have the baby. I'm not saying abortion, I'm not saying adoption, either. I'm saying let a family member raise that child and give you visitation rights so that child can get the love that they deserve. Not some part time love from a mom that doesn't even want them. I've seen it. My ex-friend was raped (she says, rumor was gang-bang that she agreed to.... no one will ever know but her and God and those boys). Anyhow, she got pregnant, too. Her son is 5 now and she treats him like garbage. She has another son with her exhusband that she treats like gold. And it's apparent. It's not fair to that boy that his mom was raped and he gets treated like sh!t because of it. Do you think that's going to be fair to your baby? Why even worry about the paternity? Why even burden your boyfriend with the slight possibility that the baby isn't his? Curiosity is what killed that cat. You may find out something that you don't want to know which will adversely affect the way that you raise your child. And if you plan on keeping this baby, you shouldn't do anything to affect the way that this child is raised. Just be a good mommy. Learn from your mistakes. Take the best possible care of this baby that you can. Who knows? If you treat it like sh!t, you could get them taken away anyway. I sure know I'd call CPS if I saw a mom treating her kid like sh!t. I did it to my ex-friend.

Answer 5

This is an awful situaton to be in. I think you're going to have to tell your boyfriend what has happened.
Surely, your boyfriend has noticed a change in you since the past 5 months?
No one should get away with raping someone, & you can't live with this for the rest of your life either.
If I was in the same situation, I think I would have to say something to the doctor, tell them what happened, that you were scared to tell your boyfriend/report this man to the police. You'd feel better for sharing it.
I was at school with a friend who, at 15 was told that her dad wasn't her dad & that her mum was raped. Thinking back now, I'm sure she would've handled it better if she could've said she'd had a one night stand. This sent her really off the rails & she couldn't come to terms with it for a long time. So you've to think of the long term too.
I don't know how you can keep this to yourself without having some kind of breakdown.
My advice is to tell your boyfriend, naturally, he'll be shocked, angry, upset but you have 7 months to sort things out & I hope he would encourage you to seek help from your doctor & report this rapist to the police.

I think you're very brave, but you really do need to get proper help from rape crisis or another organisation that are trained & qualified.

Answer 6

You can get a DNA Test before the baby is born if you explain the situation to your doctor. It may turn out that your boyfriend is the father and that will change how you feel about the whole situation. If the baby is not his, and you feel you could not treat it with the same love it desirves, (cause remember it is an innocent child) I think you should really think about adoption. There is nothing morally wrong with putting your baby up for adoption and someone would love to you have your baby. If you are worried about loosing contact with the child see if you can find some one who is willing to do an open adoption, then you can still be involved.

Answer 7

First how far a long are you in your pregnancy, and second does you boyfriend know that you were raped 5 months ago. Only 1% of woman who are raped gets pregnant from their rapist so there is a high chance that it isn't even the rapist's baby. If your boyfriend doens't know that you were raped 5 months ago and you are 20 weeks along then I would tell your boyfriend the truth along with the statistics of pregnancy rape cases. If he truely loves you he will stick by you the whole time.

Answer 8

It is a very hard situation to be in. I respect your opinion regarding abortion or adoption. But right now what you need to do is to be honest about this whole situation with your boyfriend. You need somebody to support you, and he will understand. If you think he will not understand, try looking for help in somebody else: a friend, your mom, somebody you can trust. First, you need to speak out, then report the rape, because it does not matter if you are pregnant or not, the rapist is free, he is a criminal and needs to be prosecuted.
In regards to your pregnancy, you need to know who fathered the baby. And DNA test can be done when the baby is born, but right now, what you can do is to count back and see when the rape happened. Check when you had intercouse with your boyfriend, and when did you ovulate in that month (in accordance with your menstrual period). This dates will hopefully give you some sight, because in order to get pregnant a woman needs to be in her ovulation period (2-3 days frame) and usually happens at the middle of her menstrual cycle.
I presume you want to keep the baby. I know it's going to be hard, but you can go through this. Good luck!

Answer 9

You should still go to the police. If you want, you can have a test to prove wether it is the bf or not. If you believe it is the rapists' and you really think you will mistreat the baby, it is best to give it up for adopt. You shouldn't feel bad about it alot of girls go this.

Answer 10

Explain the situation to your boyfriend honey. He should be someone you trust and I dont think he will hold that against you. Then as a couple decide what course of action you'd like to take. I personally, since you seem to believe it is the other guys baby, have an abortion and when you and your boyfriend are ready you can have a baby together that you know is his. Its never too late to report the rape though. Even though the physical evidence is gone, you could give descriptions and details so that this man may not do the same thing to another girl.