Is this normal?

Question

It’s just most of my life I have had low self-esteem and no confidence. But this has recently changed and now I am more confident than I have ever been in my life, so much so, that I think I am starting to feel cocky with my new found confidence. Is it normal to turn cocky if you have never had confidence before? I mean like actually telling someone how I feel about them to their face. I have never felt that confident about doing that before. How can I stop getting carried away with my new found confidence and not turn in to a horrible person?

Answer 1

I've found that to be true with myself.
It's probably pretty common after a lifetime of low self esteem to suddenly think, 'hey, I'm not that bad'... and spiral to 'hey, i'm awesome!'
your mind doesn't know how to deal with that new-found feeling, so it comes to the front to be dealt with...
just keep in mind you are the same person, no matter how you feel about yourself.
it is what it is... that's my outlook on life.

Answer 2

Before you say something potentially hurtful, think how you would have felt when you were low if somebody had said what you are about to say....that will change your mind. You have the right to express yourself as much as anybody else, but very often, saying less is actually better. It is normal to be a bit cocky with new found confidence, but the more you say, the more you will regret later, ad feel like a tw*t. So, be reasonable. You never know, if people think you can take as much as you can give, they could say somethng that knocks you right down to how you used to feel.

Answer 3

yes, it's often true that you swing from one extreme to the other. There's another saying that many bullied people often turn out to be bullies themselves, because they are over-compensating for their lack of confidence.
It takes a little time for everything to settle down - you're just swinging from one extreme of no confidence to the other of over-confidence. My advice is just try to remember that most people, even if they display a hard exterior, often have very soft centres and are easily hurt. So don't be rude or brutal with people's feelings, remember how it hurt you when you were feeling fragile? This phase of over-confidence will pass in time and you will be OK, but in the meantime just spare other people the pain that you were inflicted yourself. It hurt you then, so don't pass it on.
Good luck

Answer 4

I've recently done the same thing,but remember,it isn't always the newly confident person at fault.Sometimes people cannot accept the new you,because part of good self-esteem is standing up for yourself in situations where you wouldn't have before.Prepare for jolly japes from bullies and mouthivators everywhere as you embark on your high-self-esteem adventure.Good luck!It's well worth it and you've done the right thing.Enjoy life from here on in my friend!

Answer 5

Just think before you speak. 'Is what I'm about to say a) necessary b) helpful c) at the risk of me sounding like a tw@t'

If you answer yes to the first two, and no to the second, you should be fine to say what you planned to. Its all about self-regulation.

Answer 6

I think it is very normal to go from one extreme to another. In and of itself, it's a good thing............but also remember that communicating with tact is very important. It can mean the difference between a person who really doesn't like you and a person who really respects you. For example, if you have to be honest with someone about their attitude, instead of saying that you don't like them for it, try to express to them that there are things you like about them, and then there are things you feel they can improve on. That way, they don't feel that you are defining them with your opinion.

Answer 7

Just evaluate everything you plan on saying or doing before you do it. That should keep you in check.

Answer 8

Just try and remember that truth without compassion is brutality, and compassion without truth is patronising.

Answer 9

just remind yourself of where you used to be...and realise that it could be a false dawn....