Called a DOG as a teenager, and 20 years later still can't let it go, even though I am a perfect "10" now!

Question

When I was in my teens, my older brother and his friend called me "Dog", based on the Foghorn and Leghorn cartoon (have no idea why).


Anyway, one incident stands out in my mind ... my brother's friend started singing "How much is that doggie in the window, ruff, ruff" as I washed dishes by the kitchen window. I am now afraid to go near windows in my own home now.

I just can't let it go even though I know I am a perfect 10 beauty (source = myself and a plethora of compliments over the years).

How do I overcome this?

Answer 1

Hey hon, I know what you mean!
Kids can be so cruel. I still remember one time when I was in a swimming team and we were on a snack break (four-hour practices...). I was across the pool from the group and my close friend at the time yelled, "you should stop eating those Pringles, that's how you got to be the way you are!" a girl beside her elbowed her and I vaguely heard her say, "kathryn, that's mean!"
I pretended I didn't understand what she said, but I never felt comfortable in a swimsuit after that.
There were a lot more incidents... and my parents never really affirmed me...

Nowadays I have men left and right wanting to sleep with me (not that I do, but get asked very often. Gets annoying after a while), but I still don't think of myself as the vixen that people view me as.

Answer 2

Ah, well, we all have skeletons as such in our respective closets, that one incident that seems to stand out no matter what.

My advice: find a good place to archive that memory in your mind, just slot it somewhere towards the back, because of course you'll never be able to erase that memory completely, so you might as well put it someplace where it will do you some good, i.e., the infamous Drawer of Bad Memories. Remembering all the while that these bad memories need to be seen with a slight smirk, two drops of humility, and (most importantly) that they're all a part of your PAST. As in, not the present and definitely not the future.

And I say humility because it's supposed to be episodes as such that keep us humble, that remind us that external beauty is only fleeting, and it is indeed what's inside that counts.

Answer 3

they probably weren't calling you dog because of your looks. in the foghorn leghorn cartoon the dog was foghorn's enemy. the dog was always falling for foghorn taunting him from just outside the length of his chain. the dog would charge the rooster and run out of chain just before he got to the rooster, basically hanging himself. foghorn would then laugh and make a humorous comment about the dog's misfortune. did they keep you on a chain of some sort? would they leave without you and taunt you from just outside the door? maybe something like that is why they called you dog. also, if your brother's friend was taunting you, he probably had a secret crush on you but didn't want you or his friend(your brother) to know. i bet he regrets it now. if you want to let it go, you need closure. get in touch with him and ask him about it. sure, it's been 20 years, but if it's still bothering you, it's worth the trouble.

Answer 4

Well, this isn't a great answer, but the best advice I can offer you is just do you best to put it out of your mind. You have to forget about and move on. If you can't keep the past in the past, then you're going to stay miserable and have low self-esteem. You have to make yourself realize that things have changed, and you are now beautiful, so it doesn't matter if they did make fun of you before.

Answer 5

Easy answer: Don't let other's perceptions bother you so much. Focus on your own pleasures and likes/dislikes.

Clinical answer: Talk to a psychologist. They will have many more ideas and will help you discover your own answers.

Funny answer: You're "a perfect 10", huh? lol beauty is subjective...post some pics and let us judge for ourselves because frankly, those compliments over the years probably came from family and guys who would have told you anything to get into your pants.

Answer 6

It sounds to me as though you are insecure still and have emotional trauma. Although you've been told numerous times throughout your life that you are a beautiful and attractive woman, it is difficult to believe it because of the past experiences. Somehow, we always seem to latch onto those types of experiences. Trauma is very hard to let go of and will often influence our lives and opinions decades later.

My suggestion would be to seek professional counseling. More specifically, someone who is willing to work with (and knows how to utilize) EMDR methods.

Best wishes (((hugs)))

Answer 7

I think it's human nature to be more prone to recall the negative rather than the positive, especially when it comes to self-image. Not sure what advice to give you, I have days when I feel beautiful and then days where I feel ugly. Funny how we associate the way we feel with our looks, isn't it? I think the key is to realize that our feelings are actually a separate entity from our looks.

Answer 8

Ok first of all, no one is "perfect". That is why the world is beautiful. And it seems that someone is a little full of themselves. You need stop thinking so much. Get over it. And if you can't them talk to someone.... maybe a psychologist.

Answer 9

The past is extremely hard to shed, especially those highly impressionistic kid years.
It is strange how we can know the truth as adults and still feel the pain of youth . . .
I suspect that whomever said 'time heals all wounds' was LYING !
I have wondered if hypnotists can help abate youth trauma . . .
They can help smokers , why not the traumatized ?

Answer 10

GET OVER IT!

THat is what is wrong with people today, Everyones Feelings are involved, Listen EVERYONE WAS PICKED ON at least once in their life.

GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON!