what do i do
2007-01-08 04:04:08 · 18 answers · asked by drummaz32 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think most people who've answered are missing the mark. You told her you wouldn't date someone who had a threesome. She lied and you believed her. Her actions have caused you to doubt her integrity. You married someone who was dishonest to you, so you didn't get what you bargained for.
If you love your wife, forgive her. We all make mistakes and if she's been loyal and a good wife, she probably deserves a second chance. It'll probably hard to get past this (being lied to hurts!) but try to make the effort. Only you know if she's worth it.
2007-01-08 04:13:21 · answer #1 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heh. Poetic justice, don't you think?
I think you need to get out of the state of mind that tells you that just because your wife has done things with other people, that means that it somehow takes something away from what you have today.
My wife and I know one another's sexual histories pretty well, but even if I found out that my wife had done something I didn't know about, it wouldn't change a thing about how I view her.
So my question to you is, why does it matter to you? The two of you have been married for at least 12 years, so something must be working well for you.
2007-01-08 04:09:34 · answer #2 · answered by Jeff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over it. I keep telling women they cant tell men what they have done in the past. None of you can handle it. You love her and have been married to her for 12 yrs. What difference does it make if she had a threesome before you met ? Whats the big deal ? She is still the same women you thought she was.
2007-01-08 04:09:27 · answer #3 · answered by JustMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you so concerned what she did 12 years ago. Hasn't she proven herself to be a great person in the 12 years since you have been married. Would you give up all you have experienced with her and all she has done for you now that you know. Grow up a bit. It was afterall only sex!
2007-01-08 04:07:34 · answer #4 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, that's a shocker. She lied to you because she was ashamed of it. If you didn't know her then or was married to her then; she simply lied to avoid being looked down upon.
If she has been a good wife and you love her, get over it and let it go.
If all that happend while being married or hooked up, that would be different.
2007-01-08 04:28:19 · answer #5 · answered by Wondrin Dude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you do???
Ask her if she is interested in doing it again - it's a rush!
Then - ask her if she would be interested in doing another woman with you in a 3-way - or a couple...
If the trust and commitment in the relationship is there, it is an enormous enhancement to the love life and sex life.
All of our friends that are in the lifestyle, who are truly committed to one another agree - it seriously brings a couple closer than they ever could have gotten outside the lifestyle.
2007-01-08 07:23:33 · answer #6 · answered by Michael, Count de Berçon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense! yet why have you ever continued with this marriage whilst that is been a lie for the previous two decades? i wish your spouse feels the comparable in the direction of you once you compromise directly to end it along with her. i think of if i were married for two decades i might have a minimum of felt something in the direction of that person. you will possibly desire to have purely ended it until now the two certainly one of you ever have been given married or perhaps had babies. i be attentive to your babies are grown now, yet i might hate to be attentive to that my father divorced my mom purely to confirm later that he never enjoyed her besides. Come on, their had to be some sturdy circumstances which you men shared mutually. Being married two decades is a protracted time to easily up , and throw way. yet i do comprehend that every person should be happy. i wish which you and you spouse locate happiness no remember if that is mutually or aside. sturdy success!!!!!
2016-12-15 18:45:41 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she didn't tell you because she was ashamed of what she had done. Everyone has done things in there past that they regret! That has nothing to do with you. You married her because you love her right?
2007-01-08 04:16:30 · answer #8 · answered by veronica c 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Were you married when she did? If not turn the other cheek to her. Have you admitted everything to her that you have done? Does she still love you?
2007-01-08 04:13:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get over it. It was 12 years ago, come on man, let it go.
2007-01-08 04:13:16 · answer #10 · answered by elb366 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋