Letting go ( Advice needed )?

Question

Hi, i am having treatment 2moz, for my derpression and social promblems, and one of the big things i need to do, is let go of things and how my life is now, i really want to change how my life is, but in another way i dont, i will loose some safety, and loose money as in benfits when i feel better and people will expect alot more of me.
how do i let go of my old life?

Answer 1

I'm the same my love. I have terrible problems letting go of everything. They replay in my mind. I've a storehold of things that people said to me years back which I can't let go of. I also think of my ex girlfriend every day even though it was 3 years ago since I split with her.
I am full of fear at moving on with things new but I suppose if you don't progress you will regress so I'm determined this year to make the most of the present and future and f*uck fear. I've been so depressed I regularly have been considering hanging myself but I can't so if I'm going to live I want to live and not just exist in the past which is just a ghost and not real anymore.
Good luck

PS I have read some of your questions and you sound like a really lovely person. I hope you are able to find some friends and get over your social anxiety.

Answer 2

A saying goes, "if you keep a tight fist clenched, then you will never be able to receive anything in it." Remember, all things are replaceable. Don't be depressed over loosing material things, it can be made or gotten again and again. I find that when this kind of change looks you in the face - it wants you to humble yourself. Sometimes you must give up something to gain alot. But definitely, if you don't make the change that life wants you to make, then life will make it for you because it insist you will change to the next level beit soft or harsh. And you can't get upset with life. It tried to let you know way before it got to this point, however, you weren't watching and it snuck up behind you. You should be glad that you have those benefits to use. Use them because you can't always take them with you. Just like we have skin cells dropping off of our bodies because new ones are replacing them. This is the same thing you must do. Life won't have you messing up its cycle. And you don't want to because life is messing up your cycle. I think LIFE wins. Be brave and leave it all behind if necessary. You may be pleasantly surprised to find that you really didn't loose anything and have gained much.

Answer 3

Unfortunatly life has to move on. Sometimes I want to hold on to things and resist change, but we cant. Usually things end up one way or the other for the better. Dont worry about letting others down. Live for you find your full potential, be happy in yourself. We all make mistakes, thats life, we all have to do things we dont want to do, again thats life, but with each new experiance you will enhance your life. Your clearly not happy with your life now? step out take a risk and start to live most of all believe in you, things will be fine.

Good Luck x

Answer 4

I had the same thing,

So i wrote down all the problems, failures and doubt, then all of the things that i wanted too be and what would happen if i changed and was a bit happier.

Then i picked one (i wanted to be more assertive and feel more in control of my life, rather than just let things fly for them to bite me in the @rse later on) and concentrated on that.

I did that pretty soon and moved on to the next one and now i'm so much more happier than i was.

For me the biggest problem was that getting my life in order seemed daunting, and i didnt know where to start, making it impossible to get anywhere.

The best possible advice i can offer is to take it step by step and day by day, when you break your problems down into little parts they're way more simple to deal with rather than trying to tackle them all in one go.

Now i'm happy, i'm 23 and in 6 months it feels like i've done more with my life than in 22 and a half years. It feels weird, i missed out that much because of the way i was, but now i feel like i can do anything. Every day just seems exciting, like christmas when u was little.

Feel free to email me if u want to talk about it

Answer 5

I wish there was an easy way, but I'm afraid there isn't.

You are going to have to make yourself accept a new you as the real you. This will take time and patience but most of all...courage.

The need to take responsibility is something everybody faces at some point and it is scary. Is it worth it??...Oh God yes!

This may be a silly suggestion but it was something that helped me a few years ago...consider going to evening classes and doing a course in philosophy. I found it to be liberating to be able to think and not judge or have judged what I think.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

Bless you. Remember - what people expect of you is of no concern of yours. Its what you expect of yourself that's important. You can't keep living by others expectations - it screws you up. I did it for years - people pleasing I called it. I changed, and now please myself first. I find myself on my own, bringing up a daughter - but it isn't anywhere near as scary as how I felt before. Have confidence that it will be better - you will see a side to yourself that you know is there but has not been allowed to show..

Take care and good luck - I wish you well.

Answer 7

Go for brisk walks.Go for jogs.Walk the dog,whatever.Walking and running aslways seem to give some balance to the brain .I don't know how but it does.Good luck with whatever you do in the future.

Answer 8

I'm glad we have a resident expert on Medjugorje!

Answer 9

Maybe it's worth spending some time on writing down exactly what it is you're hanging on to, what benefits it has for you, and what you're afraid of happening if you let go of it?

Answer 10

With a strong will. Work on it, and you are not the only one.