My daughter refuses to go to school?

Question

My 14 almost 15 year old daughter refuses to go to school..She uses an excuse everyday to stay home she has been staying home all last week and today.. She throws huge fits if I don't let her stay home.. Last week we went to the doctor for her.she told him why she didn't wanna go to school she said because the stomach virus is going around and she is afraid she will get it and have to throw up and she is deathly affraid of throwing up.. she hasnt thrown up from a stomach virus since second grade.. i tried explaing to her that she will probably not get it and if she does I will let her stay home but she is so scared she will puke or feel sick in school.. She worries so much she literally makes herself sick.. and also once she started the medicine the doctor gave her.. it gave her the diahrea and now she's afraid shes gonna get that in school too.. i have been giving her imodium with her pill and she has been fine but she still worries about it.. what should i do?

were taking her to the doc again today..
any advice at all would be nice!
thanks =]

the doctor gave her zoloft for obsessive compulsive dissorder

no way im homeschooling her

i have gotten doctors notes so no office is coming to my door

Answer 1

you have to tell her who the boss is... i am not sure who is asking the question the child or the parent, but i am pretty sure you should be telling them what to do, not them telling you. use positive reinforcement if they go to school, money for good grades, new clothes if she can go a whole month in a row.

if not you can send her to my harry potter witch school, where i teach people the black arts, including flying

Answer 2

It doesn't matter how many Dr notes you get, if the child misses a certain amount of days at school, you will be contacted.

There is another problem, not a stomach virus. Chances are it's nasty little girls in her class making her life difficult. She needs to learn to deal with it though. Until she stands up for herself these girls will continue to harass her and there is nothing you can do about it. If you do then it will cause more problems for her with the kids at school then she's having right now.

Or maybe it's the boys. But what ever the real issue is you have to find out and help her help herself out of the situation. Otherwise all you will be teaching your kid is that you can make excuses all you want and get out of doing something because it makes you uncomfortable.

Good Luck.

*********************

I have serious issues with a 14 year old on any sort of medicine like that. These teenagers are supposed to act irrational. That's one of the things that makes them a teenager and teaches them different ways of dealing with situations.

Like I said and most of the other responders here said, the problem probably isn't that she's afraid she'll get sick, but something else and the throwing up is an excuse to not deal with the real problem.

Take the girl off the pill.

Answer 3

I do agree with some of the other posters - you are her mom, and you need to trust your instinct here. Do you think she really is this afraid of throwing up? I am not saying this isn't possible; just to really think about it. If you believe this is truly the case, your daughter really does need some psychological help in the form of therapy. I agree that it was irresponsible for her general practitioner to prescribe a psychological medication without her being seen and evaluated by a qualified and competent mental health professional. Perhaps you should look into getting her an appointment with a counselor or a psychologist.

It also could be that there is something deeper going on here that she doesn't want to tell you about. Maybe she is being bullied at school; maybe she is fearful of something else. If she is unwilling to talk to you about it, a therapist may be able to help with this issue also. Speaking from experience, it is awful to feel terrified of going to school, knowing that you must day after day. I sympathize with your daughter, but she must eventually go back to school, and you have to help her find a way to deal with it.

Answer 4

That bit about the truant officer (or in my state, the D.A.'s office!), is true...and the parent can be charged w/neglect, so ask if she wants you to pay a hefty fine and possibly have her end up in foster care!

Regarding the fear of vomiting; it is NOT necessarily a phobia (her Dr. is WAY off-base to assume OCD without a thorough work-up by an experienced psychiatrist! SHEESH!), especially if she hasn't thrown up in a long time!

My kid had that, as did I. To this day, I STILL hate vomiting (it's a lousy experience...for most people!). You can reassure her that she can often avoid throwing up if she stops eating at the first sign of nausea. If she has to do it, tell her to breathe as naturally as possible, and stay by her to support her, if she wants.

A phobia is only a phobia if the fear is of something unreal or unreasonable. IMO, it's TOTALLY reasonable to avoid vomiting, as it's so unpleasant, and even painful for many people! However, if she really DOES have a phobia of vomiting, it's not at all uncommon. (1)

PLEASE don't start medicating your daughter just because of this! Try regular therapy, to see if there might be some underlying experience or fear ASSOCIATED with vomiting. Sometimes, repressed fears can cause people to fear vomiting, since it's an emotional release. (Witness how many people throw up when stressed, frightened or after seeing something disgusting...it's how they "process" the emotions).

Most sites I found during my search, using the terms "resistence to" or "avoidance of" vomiting, turned up sites about eating disorders, which it doesn't sound like your daughter has.

One site DID mention how chemotherapy patients often avoid treatment because they hate vomiting! So, your daughter is not the only one! Please get her some REAL counseling. Most regular M.D.'s don't have a clue about psychology.

Once you deal with the reality that she is probably normal, you can start working on the reality of what will happen if she won't go back to school!

Answer 5

It seems like there's something going on at school (maybe with friends) that is bothering her A LOT. The fact that she refuses to go to school and that she is acting unnaturally horrendous towards her family only strengthens this thought. I would suggest NOT threatening her being taken away again. This is not only ver scary, but could have an opposite effect. If she's going through a hard time, the last thing you want to do is to make her feel like she ins't wanted at home. Try cooking iwth her (dinner, or bake something) or take her out to help you grocery shopping, or for a manicure, or something. Make it one on one girl time, and she's bound to start talking. Try asking questions about different things such as, "Where ahs Tammy been lately? Do you want to invite her over tonight?" and stuff like that to get a feel for what's going on. You could ask why she hasn't been wanting to go to school if you want. Good luck!

Answer 6

It really could be something deper at school other then getting a virus oooooooooooooor she really could be a hypocondriac and scared to catch something. Has she always been this way?
Are her grades good in school?
Does she have friends or is she a bit of a loner?
I suggest some therepy and some talks with her school counselors to get to the bottom of this, no matter what the out come is.
I wish you luck and hope you find the piece of mind you are looking for.

Answer 7

I did this in 8th grade.....I almost had a nervous breakdown literally. I am now a senior in college. I went through counseling and it helped some. Beware that Zoloft may make her worse, as any medication can so beware of personality changes that she may be going through. Medications like that in an adolescent need to be used with caution and you need to watch her moods very carefully. At the beginning of trying any new medication for mental needs, it it needed that someone watch over you because suicidal thoughts can come in (not to scare you) and other things that aren't your typical can come in also. You need to sit down and have a good talk with her and ask her what is going on and how she feels because only she knows what she actually feels.

Answer 8

My daugher had an issue with being on time to class. This is what I did and I never heard of her having this issue again. Go to school with her for a full day. Walk to all her classes with her and sit next to her and eat lunch with her too. When her friends see her mom all over school next to her, she will not want you included in her life at school. Just let her know that everytime you feel you are unable to attend school for whatever reason she tryies, tell her you will go with her and if you see any reason for her not to be there, you will take her home. This will work. IF she start ditching classes do the same thing, but cuff your wrist together and walk her to each class like she is a felon. This works and the school supported what I did and told me they wish every parent would take this kind of action. I hope you try it. It will only take a day or two out of your life, but will let your daughter know how important she and school are in your life.
Best of luck, The mom who repeated the 8th. grade for two days.
Tracylyn

Answer 9

From reading your story I only have one thought there is something shes not telling you. She might not like to throw up. And she might be scared she might get this but if she is scared to go to school Because there is something going around. There may be a reason shes not telling you or you might need to take her to another kind of Doctor. There might be something else wrong with her. So after you try talking to her about the kids in school and you are such its not them picking on her or anyone saying they will beat her up or whatever kids do. Because now a days kids can be down right evil to other children. then take her to see someone about germs.

Answer 10

Building on other comments, tell her that you will notify the school that she is truant and call the officers. She is digging herself into a deep hole. What medicine? The doctor sounds like a quack.

I've had this virus and frankly the problem isn't throwing up if you get my drift.

Answer 11

If you trust your daughter she might really have a problem with being afraid of throwing up, I can't even stand to see someone throwing up,I would also give her airborne to boost her immune system and see if she will go then. If she says no tell her that almost everyday that there is going to be someone sick thats there and then ask her when she will go to school. Also ask her when she plans to go to school, if she doesn't want to go still give her airborne and take her.