Help me please!?

Question

Last year I ended a six year relationship. My ex and I are still good friends. I've had another boyfriend for about four months now. He will not accept that I am friends with my ex. We fight about it constantly! And to make matters worse, my ex and I have the same best friends, so it's impossible to avoid him altogether without putting my friends in a bad position. What should I do?

I'm also pregnant and we don't fight about anything else.

My ex and I have no feelings left for eachother. He has a girlfriend and there is no attraction anymore. We are so over it.

Answer 1

Hmmmm.... your bf seriously has insecure issues. I'm sure this strikes every man possible. Why? Simple... men want what they can't have and have the desire to possess it as much as possible. When most men know that women who are friends with their ex .....most will 'assume' women will sleep with their ex's. Men are afraid that women will act on their desires for their ex...... and I'm sure it would drive your bf to some sort of mental institutional program.

Men fear this as much as women. I'm sure there are many jealous women who are insecured about the slightest hint that some other girl have a crush on your bf.

But let me tell you this... I wasn't a victim of my ex girlfriend running after another guy. Actually, my ex girlfriend wanted me to be friends with her. At that time she dated another guy. However, that guy didn't like me to be around her and wanted to make sure my ex wasn't doing anything with me.

However, I was the uhh... well.... bad boy. I often lured my ex into things I really missed. Especially those passionate moments. I realized my ex gf couldn't resist that. So she cheated on her bf and kept us as a 'secret' until one day she told him. Her bf was mad as hell and gave her a second chance. Again, my ex girlfriend couldn't resist that urge with me... because I couldn't resist the same urge as well.

It broke her boyfriend's heart to know what I did or what she (my ex girlfriend) did. I learned a lesson that... it's usually the 'men' who have the ability to seduce a woman in many different ways.

It is 'those past seductions' that most men are afraid their girlfriends will go back for. So I learned my lessons the hard and cruel way.... because eventually my gf came back for me. It was me who was 'messing' inside her head. She lusted me... but loved her bf AND I took advantage of that. I truly regret it because... now I realized lust doesn't last... only love.

It's a game people play. Now that I'm more mature... I can relate to those experiences. I felt really bad for the other guy... it was as though... a competition was going on. And I'm sure most men want to 'justify' their sexual prowess. Who doesn't? It's a man's world... an often sick one if you tell me. That's why you have stereotypes that circulate among people.... which AREN'T TRUE at all. You will often hear one man who thinks he's better than another. Not always the case because it's the man who's insecured when he thinks he's better.

So understand your bf's level of fear and insecurity he may have with you. Otherwise... ask yourself... what do you want. Is your bf enough to physically and emotionally please you?

Answer 2

I was friends with my ex too for a while and it all ended badly. In order to truly get over your ex maybe you should give each other space. It's great to be friends with your ex but the reason your current boyfriend is upset makes sense. You need to fully invest your time and energy in building a friendship/relationship with your new man. Your ex is an ex for a reason. EXcommunicate him for a while so you have room to breath and find your true self. When you are in a long term relationship its easy to bond to your partner. But you now must find yourself. Give your new man a chance and leave the ex alone for a while. Here is what happened to me: I wanted so much for me and my ex to continue our friendship, but the truth was that the feelings were really still there. I tried to get my new man and my ex to become friends. Instead of being friends they ended up in a huge fight which left the new relationship in shambles! Luckily we worked through it and me and the new man are still together. But take it from me, ask yourself why you are still holding on to this relationship? Do you still have feelings for him? If so, then maybe you shouldn't play games with this new man and tell him how you really feel.

Answer 3

I know this is not what you want to hear, but just being honest.
Sad, but you have to make a choice; commit to your new boyfriend and end it with your ex, yes, even if that means ending mutual friendships, or let your boyfriend go and remain best friends with your ex.

If the shoe was on the other foot, I doubt if you would like it if he was best friends with an "ex" and mutual friends. It is too much for you expect the new guy in your life to bond with your ex just because you have.

Answer 4

I've always remained friends with my exes (sometimes i wonder why but anyway) I have had one man who was threatened by it - I accpeted his feelings and asked more about his experience with the same kind of situation. It turned out his wife had many "friends" when they moved back to her hometown and she was having sex with all of them. The point is, he may have had a bad experience. Bringing him along or visiting on some of his terms might make him feel like he has more control, and it might gain his trust. If not, to hell with him! I think in the end you have to ask yourself what your priorities are and how much you like this guy and if he is a generally good guy other than this one thing - but if he is just overall controlling or something - um, no. :)

Answer 5

The ex has to go.....respect that your boyfriend is bothered by your FRIENDSHIP with your ex.

Answer 6

Decide who you like better.

Answer 7

if your bf cant accept who your friends are he must not be for you

Answer 8

IF YOU ARE FIGHTING WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND
THEN WHY STAY WITH HIM