The blame is always on me and my defects.
2007-01-08 02:57:45 · 9 answers · asked by tcpace 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
"I need to talk to you." I've been worried about you I think you may have a drinking problem.
(Do not expect anything other then anger and resentment from this person. That's very normal. You may end up having to give this person an ultimatum. "FEAR OF LOSS" is Powerful!!!!!!
2007-01-08 03:00:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you can tell him until you take your last breath. Someone with a drinking problem isn't going to do anything about drinkin until they believe they have a problem. If he's still blaming you and finding fault in you then he's not ready to realize that there's a problem. The best thing you can do is not argue and fight with him about it. Just be careful and don't press the issue. When he wants to fight about anything just agree and say very little. If you keep pushing, he can become violent without knowing. Just let him do what he wants with his drinking and if possible avoid him when he's this way but don't bring it up to him especially while he's drinking. That's only going to make it worse. If you can't deal with it, because your not going to change him, he has to change him then leave or put him out. Let him hit rock bottom and perhaps that will bring him to the light that he has a problem.
2007-01-08 03:15:17 · answer #2 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have been there. I was married to an alcoholic, and of course it was always my fault. Unfortunately there is nothing that you can say or do to make him understand that he has a problem. He needs to figure it out for himself. Trying to make him see it will only lead to a lot of pain and suffering on your part. I tried everything that I could to try and get him to seek treatment. Nothing worked. He even had a son that asked him to get help, and it was always the same answer....I don't have a problem and it's your fault that I drink. No, it wasn't my fault at all, he comes for a long line of alcoholics and he's been in and out of treatment due to getting too many DUIs, but he never saw it as a problem until I divorced him and he lost custody of his son. After his life fell apart around him he finally woke up and realized that he had a problem. We have mutual friends and they keep me informed on how he is doing. Now, two years later he has finally gone to seek the help that he has always needed and has come to understand that he has a problem and that it's no ones fault but his own. He is finally getting his life back together. I know that it's hard to see someone go through that and I know you wish you could help him out, but there really isn't much you can do until he's ready to admit that he has a problem, and unfortunately it takes something very extreme to wake them up and realize this.
2007-01-08 03:37:57 · answer #3 · answered by photogrl262000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Might as well not try to explain anything to a drinker. They are horrible listeners and only think about their next drink. They are not happy with their lives and love to blame others to make them feel better about themselves. A good many of them are prolific liars, cheaters, and will steal from thir own family members. They are truly sick and hopeless unless they make a serious effort to change on their own. Your best bet is to sever ties with this person for your own sake because he will use you relentlessly. They are all about themselves and no one else. I've had to deal with family members with this problem and know very well what I am talking about. Hope this helps.
2007-01-08 03:10:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bring him to an AA meeting, if he can relate to what some of them have to say, may be he will see the light..but they have to help themselves at the end of the day... Alcoholics always blame others for their shortcomings, ignore it,,,and is he worth it? Think not...find someone you love just as much as he loves you, and praises you, don't let any man bring you down because of his shortfalls...
2007-01-08 03:03:49 · answer #5 · answered by momof3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, boy.
I have a dear relative that just went through this. After years of trying to explain it to him in every way you can imagine, the thing that finally worked was: she kicked him out, bag and baggage. Yep.
The punchline: he STILL doesn't really get it, and blames her for everything that is wrong in his life.
My advice: lose him. He's a drunk.
2007-01-08 03:05:00 · answer #6 · answered by silvercomet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't waste your time trying to explain. What he needs is not an explanation, he needs a drink. You on the other hand needs to leave him.
2007-01-08 03:24:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he needs something to shock him into seeing the truth like someone he loves getting hurt because of him (fake blood) its mean i know but trust me it works most of the time
2007-01-08 03:01:48 · answer #8 · answered by fairy_punk07 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
U gotta just come out and say it please do not hold back you can offer as much help as you can but you can not make him do what he do not want to do.
2007-01-08 03:02:39 · answer #9 · answered by Murders Princess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋