after my divorce i went wild going out to catch up,and now become sort of player , and i hate it?

Question

been divorced for 2 yrs now, and since been going out a lot ,i realise i have become sort of player and i dont reconise my self , i think i did catch up enough , my only dream is to find a true love or at least an opportunity and i'll make the best of it , but how .??i keep trying but i always endup loosing interest and say she is not right somehow, as london has become a meat market .

Answer 1

I think it's time to stop going out and instead to hang out in a nice park or go to church or just sit in a library and scope out nice women.

It's probably hard to stop doing what you've been doing for the past several years, but if you want to make a change then you'll need to look around your community and find a nice place to go to meet women.

Answer 2

well slow does get 2 know them better....try different things 2 meet different types of woman. have u thought about a match making service there r some really good ones out there n they have made some good matches. also go 2 friends n family they know u perhaps they also know someone that would be right for u......also if u feel like u r becoming something ur not stop dont continue with it.

but also think about it r u just doing this 2 cover up how u feel about the divorce. it is possible u r not ready 2 settle down yet, u could have some issues about the past that u have not dealt with before. divorce sucks n it takes a lot out of the people who go through it n sometimes its hard 2 start over n instead we sabotoge every relationship after because we r still hurt over the past. been there done that n its not fun it took me 4 years 2 relize I was covering up my feelings by making sure no one was ever that right one 4 me. guess I was gun shy lol but once I relized what I was doing I took a little time 2 get my act 2gether n guess what found someone I care 4 very deeply. we have been 2gether 4 10 years now he still cannot get me down that damn isle again but hell at least we r happy.

good luck

Answer 3

Divorce!!! Then comes the year or two long party. What are you trying to prove and who too? Yes most people let their hair down for a bit - but then they remember that its just a phase. So now you have passed the phase - change the things you don't like. Stop going out so often -with the same people. Change where you go to - stop looking at women like a piece of meat - learn to not be afraid of women and bring peace into your heart. Not all women are soo bad that you can't learn to love again. The reason you find it so hard to meet the right person is because you are not ready - you are still hurtin or have issues you never dealt with when you first split up. Deal with them now on your own and learn who you are - stop searching for the one - the one will be there when you least expect it, but when you most need it.!!!!
Good luck finding yourself.
Rx

Answer 4

You usually will not find the love of your life in a pub or nightclub. Take a break from that scene for awhile and spend some time truly figuring out what you want. If you have been going wild for a couple of years, you may have made a reputation for yourself as a player or user. If you truly want to change and be noticed as a decent guy, work hard on getting rid of your bad points and enhancing your good ones. It's okay for a guy to say no, and it also shows respect for a lady.

Answer 5

Now that you have recognised what you don't want in a relationship, start discovering what you do want from a relationship, and be realistic. We all would love the ideal partner, but do they really exist or is it just a figment of our imagination. I think that if we are true to ourselves, and too the people we meet out there, then eventually we get the real deal. so my advice is to stop looking at the women as if they have the problem and start looking in your self and asking yourself the hard questions, like 'What do I have to offer? good Luck

Answer 6

Find a group, such as Divorce Care, or Divorce Recovery, to work through your feelings from your divorce. As long as you aren't healed, you can't have a lasting relationship.

Also, I'd suggest that you take a break from dating. Find other things that you enjoy. Tend to yourself, do things with friends. Combined with the class, you will heal much faster.

It's the only way out of the "loop" that you are in. A good website is below.

Answer 7

You need to start again. Dont beat yourself up about being a player, most men would love that opportunity. You did what you had to at the time. Maybe you are being too fussy. You should try developing some sort of relationship with a woman b4 bedding her. Your taking away the challenge and going straight for gold. There are plenty of women who want a decent guy who takes their time.

Answer 8

I have the same problem,I'm not a player tho and i don't sleep around,yes i went through a tarty stage when me and the ex split up,,maybe you don't want to be with some one else because deep down you still want your ex,,with me i meet people then i just can't be bothered to get to know them,,to much like hard work so deep down i probably miss the ex,,then on the other hand i want to be in another relationship,it's all confusing,,good luck tho,I'm sure ms right is out there,she's probaly with my Mr right.lol

Answer 9

every1 goes a little wild after a break up you will settle down again when the time is right,ive been through this(well meeting people) but im more relaxed and chilled out now i think we just do it to prove a point good luck you will find true love soon enough just don't go looking for it xxx

Answer 10

Stop Looking !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't like what you are doing, STOP!! Duh!!

If London had become a meat market, stop trying to be the head butcher.

You're looking in the wrong places for love. Love finds itself.
Just go about your life and don't think about finding the right one for you. She will come along when the time is right.
Be yourself, and quit looking for perfection. It doesn't exist. Believe me, I know.
And when you do find it, don't try to change it.
Divorce is very damaging, it makes it hard to look for someone, because your afraid to get in to the same situation.

Get over it.
Go on with your life.
Stay out of bars and clubs.

Go for walks in the park, with your dog if you have one. If not, get one.
Dress nice but casual. Don't over do.
Women notice men who are alone.
And if you show that you care about your looks, they will see that in you. Just don't be obsessive.
Women don't like to be bought, the good ones any way.
Don't talk about your problems, not right away, never lie, and we don't like to hear about the ex.

I hope you get something out of this, but remember, if you go looking for love, you will never find it. Let love fall in your lap, as it were.

Good luck