When i started a relationship with my husband i did not originally know he was married for 6 months then he said he was seperated another lie but by then i was pregnant and when wife found out they divorced.I thought i was in love with him and we got married . I felt everything would be fine but there seems to be a shadow over our marriage.I dont feel like i can trust my husband.I also feel like something is missing emotionally. I cant stand the person my husband is which is manipulative and selfish person.He will not listen to my feelings and ignores me.You would think i was invisble he makes everything my fault!even his old marriage failing! He is a strong willed controling buisness man and i have now seen first hand what he would do to bring someone down.I have a plan to leave but am afraid to follow through with it because i would be sinking to his level of manipulation?
2007-01-08 02:33:44 · 8 answers · asked by Bella G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have my own secret account that i put my old personal saving in and i have been taking out money from the allowance hubby gives me and putting that in their as well i had my father open the account.I signed a pre-nup before my hubby and i married so i wont be getting much money after the divorce aside from child support.I had an old friend from college see if she could find me a job even though i have not worked in 3 and half years.She found me a job in houston TX, at her companys sister firm.Only problem is i am living in NJ with my hubby and he would fight me on taking my daughter with me out of seer spite so i would have to lie to him.
2007-01-08 02:37:21 · update #1
babe
learn the life for him and play the game with expert ..u will succeed he is will find someone else he is not of character to flow u .. by now he might be having someone as back up plan .. catch him red handed and move on ....
2007-01-08 02:46:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why you don't trust him. He was cheating on his first wife with you. Do you feel like you are in danger? If so, get out now. Take the kid with you and get an order of protection against him. He is trying to intimidate you and you are allowing it. Follow your heart and figure out a plan. Call an attorney and know your rights. You may not legally be able to take your kid out of state without the permission of a judge. But the judge will see that you are doing it to better yourself and have a better life for your child.Get a legal separation and find friends or family to stay with. Plus they can help support you emotionally.
2007-01-08 02:59:45 · answer #2 · answered by leigh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you chose to marry this man even after knowing his past, so that shouldn't play in to this. You need to decide for yourself if this marriage is worth saving, do you love him ? Does he love you? Will he go for counseling? No matter what you decide the baby is his too. Are you or your child in danger? You need to get better informed of the laws in your state. If you just take off, you could be charged with kidnapping. If you move to another state, he's still going to get visitation. Are you prepared to be seperated from your child for weeks at a time? I'm not telling you to stay, just know your legal rights. You might be better off finding a job closer to home.
2007-01-08 03:03:26 · answer #3 · answered by mel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its sucks, but do what you have to do to make yourself happy. I had to manipulate and become the horrible person my X said I was to make him let me go w/out restraining order, etc. His manipulation eventually turned to verbal abuse and then physical. That's when I became the horrible person...well if he thought I was so horrible why not be. I quit cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, sex, everything. I did nothing but sleep and go to work. It was horrible, I really lost myself to get away from him. But I eventually did and I'm happy. Slowly but surely finding out who I am again. Life is good again, but it did cost me alot of time. Though with a child involved you can't sink to that level because he could say you were incompetent. What I would do if I were you is save $$$$$ where you can. And if you are being abused, which I suspect that you are since manipulation is a form of abuse. There are programs who help women in your circumstances. Be strong and know what you do is for your health and that of your child.
http://www.drirene.com/ This site looks cheesy, but it has alot of great information.
Remember, dump the guilt, this about survival. It is your responsibility to take good care of the precious gift you were given: Your Body, Your Mind, Your Soul.
Doing this will enable you to also care for the other precious gift, your child.
2007-01-08 02:42:00 · answer #4 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life and that vicious cycle, you reap what you sow, instead of assuming what your husband will do, hire a lawyer to find out what you can and can't do. Connect with the first wife so she can tell you about him, more than likely so was not the first and you are not the second wife. Move and take the job that is waiting for you. Learn from your mistakes. Stay away from married men.
2007-01-08 02:46:02 · answer #5 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of there...good for you and your dad for doing the "secret account" thing. Take your girlfriend up on that job she found for you. See if you can get some "insurance" against a child custody battle...does he do anything he wouldn't want his co-workers, family & friends finding out about? Get some proof if at all possible, but get away from his controlling ways. You and your unborn child will be better off without him. Good luck to you!
2007-01-08 02:56:55 · answer #6 · answered by grannyhuh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are sinking to his level if you stay with him.Because by staying with him you are allowing him to be in control.You said that you don't trust him,well my dear if you don't have trust then you don't have a relationship..Do what is in your heart and right for you leave him now.....Don't subject your child to an unhappy life..
2007-01-08 02:40:06 · answer #7 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get good legal advice before you do anything.
2007-01-08 02:45:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋