I used to be the guy who would leave piles of stuff around and then resent my wife for getting angry with me.
Basically, you two need to change the way you take care of your house. It isn't enough to just tell him to clean. The two of you have got to share the responsibility for keeping the house livable.
Come to an agreement about who does what. With my wife and I, it goes something like this:
I clean the kitchen and my study. I vacuum the house and take care of the pets. I do the laundry. I mow the lawn and keep things swept up.
My wife cleans the bathrooms and mops the floors. She folds the laundry and puts it away. She straightens the house up, putting things away that we've used.
Of course, we keep things flexible too. We share and split responsibilities like groceries, laundry and cleaning. When one of us isn't pulling our weight, typically neither of us is.
Normally we both put in equal work because we both know that when we don't, we just wind up spending a good chunk of our weekend cleaning the house, and nobody wants that.
Other times, when we know we need to catch up, we make clean-up lists for one another. It's just an item-by-item list of things that need to be done. Normally, I get these lists more than I give them because my wife gets home from work before I do every day, and she spends a lot of that spare time cleaning. So when my wife has errands to run or spends the afternoon out, I'll spend that time catching up on cleaning.
The reason why this works is that we take pride in our house. The first time we lived together, I had moved into her apartment and things were a little more lopsided -- she'd do most of the cleaning because she considered it "her place." But since we've gotten a house together, we feel that it's both of ours, and so we work together.
That's what works for us. I hope it works for you!
2007-01-08 02:53:15
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answer #1
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answered by Jeff 3
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You CAN'T!!!!!! Either accept it or move out and on! I'm serious, I've dealt with the Same damn thing with my husband for 27 years now and have tried everything and EVERY strategy in the book. Nothing works. All he will do is be resentful of you for as he thinks you are being, "A NAG". If you really love him, just learn to deal with it as best as you can. Sometimes trade-offs work on some things but not all. And if you think you can with-hold sex to punish him until he does it, you're not going to get the positive results you want. You'll end up with a mad, resentful person that just may turn to something else to escape the Empty,Barren time that he is dealing with. There's only one thing that makes him know that you mean business though, Tell him if his stuff isn't picked up, it will be thrown away. Give him adeadline time, AND FOR GOD'S SAKE.......FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT!!!!!!!! Don't make empty threats!
2007-01-08 04:44:18
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answer #2
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answered by vocalick210 2
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Pick a day to have all to yourself, and do nothing. Watch tv, read a book, go shopping, get your hair done, whatever your hearts desire, for you, not the family.
In other words, take some time off for you, only.
or,
Clean up only the messes that have been put in their proper place, laundry included.
When things that he needs are not where they usually are, he may wake up, maybe not.
But you need to take away the convenience of a maid.
Sometimes, messes and clutter can work to your advantage.
I pick up after my husband only because he does it too. especially when he realises that I'm doing all the work.
Some help is better than none.
Word of warning:
If you want to keep it, put it up, men are good at just throwing things away.
2007-01-08 02:34:33
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answer #3
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answered by freakyforjesus 2
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perchance you are able to try a second rinse cycle even as washing her outfits? each so often the laundry detergent doesn't rinse away thoroughly and the residue irritates little childrens. My lately potty educated 3 three hundred and sixty 5 days previous son is continuously taking section in consisting of his deepest aspects. For him, it truly is no longer the underclothes that bothers him, he's basically extremely curious and attracted to what's happening down there. I revealed a question the different day about this and that i'll percentage the reply I received. attempt to keep her hands busy with playdough, toys, puzzles, books, etc. That way her hands will be too busy to flow there. it truly is operating fairly nicely for us so a techniques. desire that helps. Mari
2016-12-28 09:36:54
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answer #4
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answered by ? 4
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Leave the mess there until he starts looking around like 'ok its kinda messy in here' then see what he does. If he looks to you clean up after that then sit down and have a little talk with him.
2007-01-08 03:00:38
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answer #5
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answered by thikingdomcome 2
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Every mess he makes, gather it up and put it on his side of the bed. When he asks about it, you will be able to tell him how you feel and he will listen since he can't go to sleep until he at least moves the mess.
2007-01-08 02:19:42
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answer #6
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answered by Jon O 4
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If you continue to clean his messes, he will continue to make them. Have a complete week without cleaning his messes, and see what he says. If he complains, then tell him that those messes are his, and you are not to clean them anymore. And if he wants a clean house, he must clean his messes.
But you have to make yourself clear, and DON'T clean his messes anymore. You will see...
2007-01-08 02:18:58
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answer #7
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answered by roxifoxiv 3
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I have the same problem and when I say something to him about it he says I nag all the time and that I'm never happy. I don't know what to do about it. But he drives me nuts, especially because I work more hours than he does and bring home more money and he doesn't help with anything.
2007-01-08 02:18:31
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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sit down and tell him your home is an extention of who you are you keep yourself clean and neat
tell him 4 hands are better then 2 that it would take less time if the 2 of you worked together
2007-01-08 02:17:48
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answer #9
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answered by elite_women_rule_the_rock 6
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Quit "rescuing" him, by picking up for him. Wait him out, tell him it is his duty to pick up his own messes. Every adult ought to clean up after themselves.
Just say, "George, pick these up and put them where they belong."
2007-01-08 02:28:22
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answer #10
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answered by JRSK007 3
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