help,i need some advice?!?!?!?

Question

i was reading this thing on babycentre.com about a 4weeks development and it said never rock your baby asleep that they need to learn on how to fall asleep on their own. the problem is that my mother-in-law rock him all the time and I'm afraid to tell her that i don't want her to because she may get mad and not listen to me.
when my 2 1/2yr old was younger he would fall asleep on his own up until he was 5-6 months old, she rocked him all the time and he would think that he would get it every night, and i had to cuz that would be the only way he would fall asleep. he still has problems falling asleep on his own, he yells everytime i put him for for a nap or for the night. but i let him cry, he 2 1/2yrs old and needs to fall asleep on his own. so i do i tell her that i don't want her rocking my 4 week old, that he needs to learn to fall asleep on his own???help me please. i dont wanna have to do the same thing for this son like i had to with my first.

another thing is that my husband and i live with her until he gets his dad paid off so we can get our own place. we had problems with criet cards and his dad paid the bills and my husband has to pay him back, and its alot.

Answer 1

You need to tell her how you feel. Be honost. Your the mother and you have every right to tell her to stop. I know its hard and you don't want to cause any problems but you have to stand up for yourself and how you want your children raised. If she has any respect for you at all she will respect what you want.
Good luck.

Answer 2

Yes, you do need to talk to your mother-in-law, but you try and do it diplomatically as possible. Personally from experience, you don't have to worry about it at 4 weeks. It's usually around the 3 month mark when you want to teach your child to sooth themselves. it also correlates to when babies should start sleeping through the night b/c they don't need the night feeding anymore. Tell her your concerns (w/o blaming her for the older child sleep problems) and that you understand that she loves to rock him, but this is what is best for baby. Try come to a compromise that maybe she can do it a couple of times a week or whatever until around the 3-4 month period. Then, it will have to stop. And remember, you are the mother, don't make a fight out of this if you can. But stand your ground even if it means she has hurt feelings.

Answer 3

I just took a look on babycenter.com and read what it said about "Your 4-week-old's Development". I couldn't find anything that said you should never rock a baby to sleep. I have been a mom for 27 years to 4 kids and have been a licensed daycare provider for 20 years. I have rocked many babies to sleep over the years. Some children have sleep issues and some do not, each child is different. It is quite common for babies and toddlers to have issues falling asleep on their own, but it is not due to the fact that their Grandmas rock them to sleep when they are infants. It is a precious bond between grandparents and grandchildren. Rocking your grandbabies is a great joy and priviledge. Unless your mother-in-law and your family live in the same home or you have daily contact with her for some reason, then the small amount of rocking she will do with your baby is inconsequential to your baby developing the ability to fall asleep on his own. When you are home, put your baby to sleep without rocking every time and that will become his habit. You actually developed your 2 1/2 year old's habit to be rocked to sleep because you would rock him, not because his grandma did. I think with your 2 1/2 year old, he is behaving in typical behavior for his age. The idea of sleep is not much fun when you'd much rather be up playing, interacting, learning, and being active. My advice is let Grandma rock your babies. At home, develop your own pattern of sleep for your baby. What you teach your baby is what will become his habit. Children begin to understand early that there are different ways of doing things at different places and most are very adaptable to those changes. I also suggest to go back to babycenter.com and read some more on what it says about helping your baby learn to self-soothe and go to sleep on his own. I searched "rocking baby to sleep" and came up with many articles with helpful advice.

Answer 4

It sounds like you are going to have to talk to your mother-in -law. Although you do not want to offend her it is best you tell her what you think is best for your child. After all she's had a chance to raise her children the way she wanted and so it is her job to be a grandmother and support you and how you would like to raise your children. If you don't want the same problems with baby #2 you better say something now or you'll have double the trouble.

Good Luck

Answer 5

I can most effective aid from a Christian viewpoint, so if that bothers you do not learn on. Look up a New Testament (you're definite to were supplied one at college through the Gideons) and skim verses 6 -7 in bankruptcy four of Paul's letter to the Philippians. I am eighty five and that passage has noticeable me by way of my existence, adding the premature dying of my father, then five years as a WW2 RAF Pilot (& one million crash), the deaths of 2 loving better halves and the apprehensive exhaustion of strolling a industry on a shoestring. Follow that recommendation and, as promised, it is going to deliver you a "peace surpassing know-how".

Answer 6

You are the mom, and you want to do what's best for your baby, but also remember that babies adjust. If you are living with her I think this is a battle I wouldn't fight for a few reasons:
-baby experts change the do's and don'ts every year so you don't know how solid their advice is.
-she is not doing this to make anyone's life harder, she is doing it out of love.
-your child will not be adversly affected by being rocked to sleep.
-you can follow every expert's advice and still end up having to let him cry it out oneday. All kids go through stages, its inevitable.
-think of how cool it is that your children are surrounded by such love and comfort-isn't that the most important thing?
-IF rocking was not good for babies (after 2000+ years of mothers rocking their babies to sleep), your child will adjust once you are in your own home.

Seriously, you are going to hurt your mother in law's feelings and in the end it will not have been worth it. Its not hurting him one bit and likely helping him. Let her love him.

Answer 7

you are the mother so you need to talk to her and tell her how you feel. my baby is 6 1/2 months old and she goes to sleep by herself, she stopped taking the pacifier about 2 months ago. when seh gets sleepy and starts rubbing her eyes I just put her in her crib and she falls asleep on her own. you definately need to speak to your mother in law and tell her what your wishes are.

Answer 8

Mother in-laws were created to fight with. Just remember you have the upper hand. Just tell her it's your way or the highway. She doesn't want to be kept from her grandchild. You have power. Use it. But don't abuse it.