How to get out of a relationship?

Question

I found her cheating on me. We have children a new house lots of bills and 15 years together. How do you just walk away?

Answer 1

Talk with her like two adults. Not fighting, not arguing. Children should not be near either of you when you talk about the incident.

Ask her if she is in love with that person or if she just had a slip-fall. Try to find a way to rebuild your marriage if possible.

If she has repented, why not forgiving her? After all, when we do the same thing, they forgive us and most of the time we don't deserve that forgiveness.

Answer 2

The hardest part is the kids. Who will they go with? Who will provide the best care and time? No matter what happens you will always have to see her because she is the mother of your children and both will have visitation rights.

Court will take care of the rest. The bills would probably be divided and you can sell the house to divide it equally or leave it for the parent with the kids. If you can fix the problem I would say avoid the 5 or 6 years of divorce court. If the cheating happened in the house then you might want to sell it and start over somewhere else with her and/or just the kids.

best of luck because this is a tough situation

Answer 3

Sorry to hear it.

There are actually a few things you could do.
Since you have all these bills and this house together, the whole 'cheaper to keep her' thing comes to mind. if you've been the major breadwinner all this time, you'd probably be looking at HER getting the kids, you paying alimony, and HER keeping the house. If she's a housewife without a job, you'd probably be responsible for the bills.

is there a pre-nup?

One thing you could do is sit her down and explain to her that you found her cheating, and that you no longer want to be with her, and ask her what she suggests.

or

Sell the house, use any money you make to pay off your bills, split any bills or profits that remain, and go your separate ways.

being with someone for that long is going to make it VERY hard to leave. What you really need to do is figure out if the fact that she cheated is enough for you to end a 15 year marriage. Ask yourself a few questions
Have you cheated? if so, you can't really be mad at her
Did she have a reason to cheat? Did you push her that way?
Are you prepared for the financial stress you'd be facing by leaving?

Either way, you need to make sure that no matter what happens, your children know that you still love them and that your love for them will never change.

If you decide to leave, you need to make that decision and STICK WITH IT! Don't let being lonely or horny drive you back. It's probably going to be the hardest thing you've ever done if you decide to leave, but stick with it, and in time all will be better.

Sorry to hear that, and Good Luck!

Answer 4

Well first of all I hope your married.
Secondly, why did she cheat? were you gone for a year? or were you neglecting her?
Check your self out first.
Then decide can you trust her again, are the kids too young to handle a divorce (between 5 -12 its the worse time)...younger they dont' remember.. older they don't care they just have a place to go on the weekends.
You can still live together and get the bills straighten out if not your credit history is going to be shot for 7 years.. better clear things up and let the kids grow with the good Dad.. otherwise they will only know her way of life.

Answer 5

hay man i have ben married 14 years my self an in the last year i have had 3 diff rent women come an tell me my wife slept with there husbands were she works so i kinda see were you are coming from so take a step back an look at the big picture an think can i deal with this if not you need to let her know this in a Com manner then start making arrangements for separation if you think you can then ask her to start counseling with you an try an work things out for the children's sake then if she cheats again it has to be over rite then good luck hope it works out for you!!!

Answer 6

I am sorry you are going through such a rough patch. How old are your kids ?

I would strongly suggest marital counseling. Cheating on you is wrong by all means. However, as you rightly pointed out, you have a lot of history together. Do you think you can patch it up for your kids ? Definitely, definitely, consider talking to a marriage or couples therapist to discuss this. Even if you decide to quit, you will have a much better prep on your side.

Answer 7

Single

Answer 8

I did not walk because of the children. I have sacrificed everything for my children. It has been a few years and I can say that I am happy with my relationship again. Is she remorseful? Can you trust her? Why did she seek out someone else? I hope it all works out for your family. Peace out.

Answer 9

It is super hard. You knew a certain lifestyle for 15 years and you've got it made, but then the b*tch had to go and mess it all up! Is she sorry? Why did she say she did it? You need to talk with her about it and see if you can work things out first, if not, take her to court, get custody of the kids, and ditch her out on the street. I hope the deed to the house is not in her name!

Answer 10

Hi!

There's no such issue that wouldn't be fixed without having a nice and understandable conversation with each other. If you can still fix it just for your kids sake, it would be better. But if it won't work, just be sure you'll end up your relationship in a nice way and with respect to each other. Remember, you have kids, you should have at least a good relationship even if you're already separated.

Goodluck!