For You...
Oh my gorgous you look so tired, just close your eyes and go to sleep,
I am here to take your worries,
I will cry the tears youd weep.
By morning you will feel ok and dont you worry I'll be ok,
Cause any time you need me to,
Darling I shall weep for you.
Like Snow...
Your rosey smily in the night shone at me like a thousand stars,
It lit the room,
It lit my life,
Made something change and it felt right.
For once I didnt hold back
And you fell like snow into my heart,
Promised that we'd never part.
And that snow still lies there today,
A love that'll never melt away.
2007-01-08 01:40:48 · 10 answers · asked by Lindsay T 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Not bad, not bad at all. I don't know that I'm qualified to "rate" them. Just take for instance the fact that I rather seriously dislike Emily Dickenson. I'm a published poet myself but that doesn't give me any special qualifications to judge your work, but since you asked... I don't love the line that starts "by morning..." and I'm not crazy about the word "smily". Was that a misprint?
Here's a piece of unsolicited advice. Don' ever let anyones opinion of your poetry cause you to stop writing. Some will like it, some will not. The real question is "Do you like it?" "Does it help you deal with the crazy world around you"?
I think I would really like your poems as songs.
2007-01-08 02:02:40 · answer #1 · answered by comet girl...DUCK! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
8
2007-01-08 06:25:05 · answer #2 · answered by Ralph 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not too bad ..... I'll give them a 5. If the poem is created for you , by you , then it never needs judgment. Keep writing from the soul and never let others decide what is good for your poetry.
2007-01-08 01:51:47 · answer #3 · answered by AtHomeDad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd rate them both as 8 out of 10. They're both really good. You're a talented writer.
2007-01-08 01:46:09 · answer #4 · answered by Fast boy + sexy boy + doglover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty good; I would give you a 6 on both of them. You pentameter needs abit of work, but you are definitely on the right path. Good luck!
2007-01-08 01:43:32 · answer #5 · answered by dkiller88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
really good 9 out of 10
2007-01-08 01:44:21 · answer #6 · answered by david UK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very good
i would give them 8\10
2 marks just because
u should put some rhyming words to make the poem more intresting ad good to hear
2007-01-08 01:48:02 · answer #7 · answered by nupur 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like them! I would give them a 9
2007-01-08 01:43:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beautiful words...
1st one= 7/10
2nd one= 9/10
keep writing :]
2007-01-08 01:52:04 · answer #9 · answered by harlequingirl1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
8/10 and its awesome/....!
2007-01-08 01:44:31 · answer #10 · answered by rufusmcc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋