2007-01-08 01:32:00 · 19 answers · asked by Barbara Doll to you 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Before I start to get negative feedback from idiots just for asking a question.
It's not personal.
"Falling out of love was the second most popular reason for ending a marriage - cited by 22% of the more than 2,000 people questioned in the research. "
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/08012007/344/divorce-lawyers-busiest-day.html
2007-01-08 01:43:13 · update #1
all marriage go through ups and downs regarding how you feel towards each other and how you feel about yourself.
there are times that I look at my husband and feel so much love that it makes my heart ache, and other times I think I could live very well if I never saw him again! It's during those down times that I realize it's not him, it's me...I'm usually stressed, or unhappy about something going on with me, it's just easier to blame him!
give it some time, unless there is something going on in your marriage that truly can't be fixed, like abuse. I've always believed that during a storm, you stay put. Wait for a calmer time to make big decisions.
2007-01-08 01:47:37 · answer #1 · answered by katalah 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
That's a personal decision, no one can really answer that question for you.
If you are married and know that you are no longer in love with your spouse, you aren't being fair to either of you by staying.
Without any details it's difficult to speculate. How long have you been married? Are their children? Have you tried to work out your problems? Have you given it a fair chance?
If you have done everything possible to make your marriage work and still feel that it is hopeless, I'd say it's time to make a change. I wish you all the best.
2007-01-08 09:38:39 · answer #2 · answered by Mugsy's Place 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not just about being "in love" and unless he beats you up think very carefully about divorce - it is terrible and should only be a last resort after everything else (including counselling) has been tried, especially if you have children.
2007-01-08 09:40:49 · answer #3 · answered by blondie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long??????? lol, dont think its a matter of how long before..
Im thinking its a matter of character.. u think ur the first one to wake up and say " u know this isnt working, i just dont feel that giddiness inside anymore like i once did, i respect them and care for them , but i just dont feel the love anymore for them?"
Isnt it amazing how for generations before us people actually could last for 50 years being married, and how arranged marriages , people that never met before their wedding, could manage to last ??????? do u think they just magically got together and it was a fantasy fairy tale????? NO!!!!! im sure there were days they woke up hateing each other.. difference is people believed in the vows they took then, "for better or worse" , "forsake all others"..etc..
Isnt it amazing how people usually are so "in love" when they get married, yet over time some how they just "Fell out of love" ..
Instead of taking the easy way out , why dont u actually find ways to fix the problems in ur marriage????? u fell in love before, why cant u again? I actually had a elderly person once tell me, that there were times in his marriage that he had to fake it.. fake the love, the passion, the romance.. untill one day he didnt have to fake it anymore it was real.. and everytime he felt that way over the course of his marriage, he realized it was just a "stooper" they were in, and he'd fake it till he didnt have to fake it anymore and he really felt that way.. he said something magical would happen during that time, that she would come out of what she was feeling because of how he treated her, so she'd go back to feeling on cloud 9 and being the same girl he fell in love with..and he'd fall in love with her all over again.. because her confidence would sore, she'd start doing things , sweet things for him again..and he'd end up falling in love with her all over again.. and he realized these were just phases in their lives that were bad phases but they could work through them by simply doing things to make her happy, made her want to do things to make him happy..
There is no "Time limit" on when to get a divorce.. the pain is going to be the same if u do it today , or if u do it tomorrow.. divorce is nothing but a easy out for those that arent capable of making a promise and upholding to it..
Maybe eventually people will actually realize that marriage vows are to be lived by every day, not just some words they said one day at a ceremony. or only take their vows seriously when its convient for them...
2007-01-08 09:49:50 · answer #4 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people fall out of love and never get a divorce.
Some people get a divorce and never fall out of love.
2007-01-08 09:34:15 · answer #5 · answered by time_wounds_all_heelz 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tough question , after all everyone is different. I'm not sure I ever "truly" loved my ex wife. We divorced after 12 yrs of marrige because we have kids , I really tried to make it work.
2007-01-08 09:37:55 · answer #6 · answered by AtHomeDad 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I fell out of love with my soon to be ex-husband about a year before I left him, we grew apart and wanted different things, he treated me more like his mum than his wife. I couldnt stand the crying or lonliness anymore and left, and dont regret it.
2007-01-08 09:45:53 · answer #7 · answered by Need_to_know 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It took me 3yrs before I was out of love with my first husband I hope never to fall out of love again. It is not a good feeling.
2007-01-08 09:34:45 · answer #8 · answered by prizelady88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really understand your question...
For me, I knew I didn't want to be married to the man I was married to because he didn't make me feel special. I was jealous of how other men treated their wives / partners. I loved him as a friend, but not the other love.
If you're considering it, then your love musn't be strong enough.
Good luck, it's tough...
2007-01-08 09:35:20 · answer #9 · answered by Snoopy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to say - I would tell you to be sure - think about it, get professional help.
I would say a few months or longer - maybe do a seperation first - You dont want to make a mistake and loose something you really didn't want to loose
2007-01-08 09:34:59 · answer #10 · answered by Confussedhere 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋