My ex, who assaulted me, wants full custody of our daughter. What should i do?

Question

I was assaulted by my ex 2 months ago. we broke up and i sent him to court. I got a restraining order and I also got custody of our only daughter. We settled visitation and everything. I also moved a whole county over! I've been running from him since. I had to give up two places because he found me twice. He still e-mails me. And when I call the house to get his mother on the phone, he picks up, after she tells me that he won't pick up the phone anymore. Today he told me that he wants our daughter, that she's unhappy with me and that i need to meet with him face to face to work this out. But when my daughter is with me, she's happy!!! I know she might not be completely happy because i haven't found us an apartment yet, but when i do, she should feel right at home with me. He also told me today that he already went to court about him assaulting me and he only got 1 year probationa and anger managment. I was never told about this, should i beleieve that???!!! Please help!!

Answer 1

Do you have a lawyer? If not, find one who is experienced in family law and let him/her handle all of this within the legal system. Keep daily records of all situations, citing who did what and who said what, etc. Whenever it is necessary to deal with your ex, respond as if you were a robot: e.g., answer yes or no without explanation or emotion. Follow your lawyer's directions to the letter; he/she will also keep accurate written records and you need to be consistent in your actions.

Remember: just because your ex says something is true, that doesn't make it true. Stay focused on what is best for your daughter and always respond from that viewpoint. Whatever happens, the court will determine what is best for her, and if your actions have consistently been based on that viewpoint, you will be responding from a position of strength.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

no you should not believe that because you as the victim have the right to know when he goes to court . and another thing , I highly doubt that any judge in his or her right mind would give full custody to a moron who is attending anger management classes and that has already been convicted of assault . If that judge does give it you go to the media ,local newspapers and local television stations and raise all kinds of hell . I mean it do everything you can to get this judge removed from power because someone such as your ex has no business having full custody of anything !!! Do not under any circumstances meet with him by yourself at all . Watch your daughter like a hawk too so that he does not take off with her . I would not trust this person as far as I could throw them . Please be carefull and tell someone where you are going at all times . Also file a restaining order it is ridiculous that you are having to move all the time because of him. I will pray for you . Protect yourself and your daughter at all times.

Answer 3

What are you running from him for?If you have full custody and he has visitation, you have no right keeping him away from his daughter. How in the heck is he supposed to visit or speak to his daughter if you keep moving and he doesn't know where you guys are? Your daughter is happy with you now because she doesn't understand what's going on. When she gets older she will be angry at you for keeping her away from her father. If you feel unsafe when he's around you should have a family member come with you when he comes to see his daughter. What happened between you and him has nothing to do with your daughter and you need to stop using her as a weapon.

Answer 4

1st off, did he REALLY assault you? and it what manner? did you possibly assault him 1st? i have been through this, but was falsely accused. but i recieved the same sentence your ex supposedly did. so he may be telling the truth. but i have to ask you a few things: has this happened before? has it happened to your daughter? is he a good father? does he love her? would you trust him with your daughter for an extended period of time? she needs her father if he good to her. plain and simple. i went through the same stuff, but on the man's side, and i fought, and i won primary custody......but i am the better parent. he may not have a chance, but if he wants to be a part of her life the courts want that to, if he is a good father. if you answered yes to most of my questions, i'd recommend that you two come to a custody agreement on your own, and file it legally at family court. this agreement and iclude everything: holidays, health benefits, support for her, and anything else. you can split custody, you can do anything you want, if you both agree on it. if you answered no to the questions i asked, then FIGHT him. i am guessing he will back off. but more than likely you would win if it went through the court system. bbut it will cost you. and it will take up all your time and sanity. it sucks going that route! you ultimately need to decide what is best for your daughter when it pertains to him, and keep what goes on between the 2 of you and your feelings about him out of it. and by all means, the worst thing you can ever do, is talk badly about him to your child. good luck! i'd like to know more and how it turns out.

Answer 5

There are a lot of women with restraining orders that permantly reside in the local cemetary it is just paper
Shelter and safety are requirements a parent must provide keep records and get an attorney

Answer 6

hi,
first, if i was you i would never reply to his emails, never call him or answer his calls, or call his mother at all.
you have your daughter by law , and there is nothing he can do about it , he can say what ever he wants to say , and you do not have to keep running and hiding from him, if he bothers you call the police.
buttom line , you have to be strong , no one will do you any good.

good luck

Answer 7

Don't believe anything he or his mother tells you. Protect yourself and above all, protect your daughter. God bless.

Answer 8

move to court