10 years, a few ups and downs, but we are a steady happy couple with two kids, and one on the way. so i thought. apparently, he's been having a 'friendly' relationship with one of his colleague for the past two years, visiting her at her place, exchanging presents, getting to know the kids really well, etc. my husband is not the kind to make friends that easily, so this person must have been special for him to behave like this. i discovered all about it after seeing a new year's SMS on his phone in which she was sending her best wishes and her love... when i asked questions, he said she was just a colleague and also a good friend and he did not want to tell me because i would be jealous and start making noise about it. I did make a drama for each of the girls who were not ONLY friends but girlfriends and he was cheating. i never made any trouble for any other female friend he introduced me to, or whom he would talk about in conversations. the fact that he hide this one is suspicious.
2007-01-08 00:35:04 · 27 answers · asked by Lisa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Poor girl and this is life. I face similar problem where my husband would never tell me about who sent him the sms in the middle of the night and we had big fights.
At that time, I cried often and then one day it just struck me, it would never change unless I accept it or we have a divorce so I took the silly way and am still in the marriage.
Surprisingly, we stop our fights and things seem to improve. So, my dear, best of luck to you. To be suspicious will not lead to happiness. If you want a lasting relationship, work on it or you have to walk out of it. The choice is yours, sounds easy but with children in tow, WORK on it.
Marriage, marriage, two different people from two different households, for it to last, you have to accommodate to one another rubbish.
2007-01-08 00:55:00 · answer #1 · answered by j t 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why were you checking his fone? You must have thought something was a bit suspect.
Womans intuition - never fails. He cheated twice before - so clearly you could see a pattern. He is being unfaithful - which ever way you look at it - even if they are not sleeping together they are having a relationship of sorts.
Sorry if this sound brutal but - He neither cares about hurting you or your family - so treat him like the dog he is and kick his sad sorry *** out.
You and your children clearly don't rate high on his priority agenda. So it's up to you to put an end to this fiasco and kick him out - wash your hands of him - HE DOESN'T DESERVE A WIFE LIKE YOU!!!
If he put as much effort into his relationship with you and your children - you would have the best relationship in the world. But clearly that is not enough for him
You and your kids deserve better - lean on friends and family for support.
I wish you all the very best for your future - Have courage.
Rx
2007-01-08 09:32:44 · answer #2 · answered by Roxy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said, "I did make a drama for each of the girls who were not ONLY friends but girlfriends and he was cheating." So, you're saying he has cheated in the past? If so, then, no, you obviously can NOT trust your husband. I guess I'm not understanding the question. Do you mean, "Can I trust him in this particular case?" Again, no, I don't see how you could if he has cheated on you before. This is not to say he definitely IS cheating with this woman, just that, as a husband, he is not trustworthy.
2007-01-08 08:44:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
no he is cheating . Visiting her at her place ? Hell no I would not put upwith this for a flat minute. Tell him it is either her or your family and then be true to that statement if he wants to keep it up then kick his sorry butt to the curb . You are not stupid I am sure and you can do well without him . A woman rarely needs a man these days . We are not our grandmothers we do not need to put up with this crap and we dont have to take it . Like I say if he wants to continue with the girlfriend then kick his sorry butt to the curb and tell him you are going to file for divorce and name her as the reason and let her neighbors know what a home wrecker she is . Believe me if her neighbors are anything like mine then she will get some dirty looks and be run out ;of the neighbor hood and she will not have a friend left there . do it girl and be strong stand on your own two feet . good luck honey and I will praying for you.
2007-01-08 09:34:03 · answer #4 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, after what he did to you, I hope he doesn't deserve your trust for he has shown that he is a cheat and the latter don't deserve much respect.
However, the act has been done and you cannot turn the clock back, all that remains is for you to accept what fate has brought into your life or not. We are all different, and sometimes life isn't fair to those who are faithful, dear and your husband has really treated you badly, but marriages are for better or for worse. You, honey are experiencing the worst part, so if you love your man, you will stand by him, no matter how the stakes are against you.
2007-01-08 09:30:57 · answer #5 · answered by marizani 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
worrying but can also be totally innocent flattering fun for him that he knows is a bit wrong so has not mentioned it to u, with 2 kids and one on the way u might not be giving each other much attention i bet both of u always put the kids first, if u want him fight for him, just guessing but when did u last grab him and drag him to bed or make him feel special in some other way, married life can become boring etc it doesnt mean u dont love each other but it does make u vunerable to a bit of flirting/atention from elsewhere good luck
2007-01-08 08:51:29 · answer #6 · answered by grahamralph2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be concerned also - if it inconnent - why not tell you. I would be jealous also - You should confront him - in a manner that will not upset him, tell him how this makes you feel and it is concerning. I am sure he will deny it but Having it out in the open is best. Maybe telling him you can see the calls made from the cell phone, etc and you know the times she calls/he calls.
Maybe they are just friends - but keeping it secret is bad - it is the worst thing he could do
2007-01-08 08:39:48 · answer #7 · answered by Confussedhere 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't be so gullible. You don't really believe that she is just a colleague do you? The signs are there sweetie, don't ignore them. Your too passive and your hubby knows he can get by with this and thinks you believe his lame lies. He has cheated in the past and you are still with him? Honey wake up here. You teach people how to treat you by putting up with this behavior. You know the ole saying:
Fool me once shame on you.
Fool me twice shame on me.
Fool me three times a fool I shall be.
2007-01-08 08:47:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
is she married? if she isnt then be very suspious. and if she is meet up with her and her hubby. thats the grown up way. if it was me..i would go with gut instinct... what do you think deep down? you know him better than anyone else. from the outside looking in especially after reading the bottom bit of what yu have written i would say he sounds like he is up to something... might not be an affair, but something which could lead to it! good luck x
2007-01-08 08:42:25 · answer #9 · answered by rachealuk 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater.
You have your answer. Now what are you prepared to do about it? If your self-esteem is so low that you are willing to accept a lying cheat for a spouse, then you accept the consequences, including the danger of STDs, HIV/AIDS, and your husband fathering a child outside of your marriage. Let alone the emotional devastation to your children and to yourself.
If your self-esteem is high, then you boot his butt to the curb and divorce him.
2007-01-08 08:40:10 · answer #10 · answered by kja63 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋