what happens to a marriage after swinging?

Answer 1

Swinging is just like everything else. You have to go into it know exactly what you and your partner feel about it. It actually takes a very secure relationship to be able to handle it, which is why half the people think it's such a bad thing. Becuase most people are insecure about themselves and think that contact with anyone other than themselves could lead to them being less important. We have found that that while we enjoy doing it, after a while it looses it's luster. We tend to space it out over a longer period of time to highten the enjoyment. Whatever you decide, make sure you do it together, set your bounaries and know exaclty what you both are doing. Good luck!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I am still amazed at how many people answer questions like this without doing a little research first. First off, your marriage shouldn't be based on sex, thats not what marriage is. Marriage is a mutual love and respect for another person, sex is just a bi-product of that love, not a necessary component. If you're basing your marriage off sex, then swinging isn't for you, neither is marriage.

Yes, one point is true, once you try swinging, you can't take it back, so make REAL sure its what both of you want. If its something you both want, and have discussed in lenght the pro's and con's of it, then go for it. Its a risk you take, but if you think its worth it, do it. Lay down some good ground rules before you try swinging, even the smallest thing can cause a problem later. I have met couples who have been swinging for years, and are still happily married. GL;)

Answer 4

That all depends on the individuals involved. If you were to attend one of the major conventions, you would hear an introductory speech that warns couples NOT to participate if they're having problems, thinking that swinging will help solve them. You should only experience this lifestyle out of a position of total strenth.

Both of you have to agree on it; not just one - usually the husband, trying to talk his wife into it.

If you are both in a period of "experimentation," you may get lucky and find another couple that you find compatible, and enjoy some fantastic sex with them.

And, if you're not careful, jealousy-based fights may emerge and you'll end up separated or divorced.

Put simply, a LOT of things can go wrong and usually do. The odds of having problems are greater than the odds of everything working out.

Your choice. But be damned sure you both agree first.

Answer 5

It can do 2 things. If you have a strong trusting relationship and it is only about sex it will add some excitement in your sex life. If it's something your not sure about it could cause problems. I've been married for 17 years and we were swingers for about 5 years. It was wonderful for us. We did have limitations when we swung so you need to talk and discuss what you both want and don't want to happen. We don't swing now because of work and being so busy but we don't regret when we did. If you have any more questions feel free to IM me.

Answer 6

Well I guess that depends on what you both want.
If you both love each other unconditionally and genuinly DO want to spend the rest of your life together, but you enjoy swinging for now, then a marraige shouldn't break down or become any different. If it makesyou both happy, it can make a marraige more exciting and thrilling.
If however one of you is not so into it, or never was as in to it as the other, this is where problems can start to occur. The spouts of jealousy may crop up as they may have felt jealous of you doing it in the first place.
I'm a little confused about your situation, it could mean so many things. Maybe you could email me and I can see if I can help?
Good luck.

Answer 7

My wife and I have been in and out of it for several years, for us we both feel like it made a great friendship and relationship better. Our group of friends have relationships Id put up against anyones. There are many different levels of swingers, they range from couples that stay exclusively to themsleves but enjoy being watched, soft swingers who will sometimes trade partners for foreplay only but never actual intercourse (we fall into this group), hard swap couples will trade partners for sex or even go off individually. As long as the couple is secure, open and honest with each other, and treat it as something they share together it can be very good. If the reason is to have "permission" to cheat on your spouse it will be a disaster. In my experience the divorce rate amongst swingers is no higher (probably lower) than the population as a whole, the reason may be that for a couple to even broach the subject they would have to be in a relationship with great communication.

Answer 8

Marriage is not about sex, it is about caring and sharing. Those that have a good relationship, with honesty and communication, ofthe find that their relationship is intensified. Unfortunately, some people get into a swinging lifestyle thinking it will save a bad marriage. It wont. The horror stories that get told are from those people that thought it was going to save a bad marriage!
If you have any questions, feel free to email me!

Answer 9

Our marriage became even better, and we had a great marriage and great sex to begin with. It became better because it opened-up a whole new level of communication and trust in our relationship.

It's really hard to explain to someone who's never done it. As I've said before, explaining the effects of swinging on a good marriage between open and honest people is like explaining the thrill and rush you get from skydiving to someone whose never done it, and worse yet are afraid of heights. You can't. They won't understand and they won't want to. They've already made-up their minds based on their own fears and biases. All they see is that you are crazy for jumping out of a perfectly good airplane.

We don't have to worry about telling each other anything. If you can admit to your partner that you have sexual fantasies that revolve around others, imagine how easy it is to talk about money and other stressful subjects in a relationship.

It always boggles me that the person humans are the least honest with is their spouse. They feel if they reveal their true selves, their fantasies, their deepest and darkest secrets, their spouse will leave them. This should not be the case, but all to often it is. The divorce rate proves it.

Swinging won't fix a bad relationship, but it certainly won't hurt a good one.

Those that get into swinging to "fix" a failing marriage are doomed to fail. All it does is add one more dimension to the relationship that can cause issues. This is "replacement sex".

The poster who said that 50% of his friends who had tried it are now divorced is just seeing the normal attrition of marriages. These 50% probably tried it to "fix" their marriage thinking if they could be single but married that they would be happy. Obviously it didn't work. Their marriage would have failed anyway, regardless of swinging.

The 50% that got into it to explore their sexuality together are the ones that are still together. Of course, they would probably still be together regardless of whether they had started swinging or not. They have all the right stuff going on in their relationship to make it last. Swinging is just icing on the cake.

It's like a good, non-swinger friend once told me: "Swinging is like the icing on the cake of marriage. But, if all the ingredients aren't in the cake to begin with to make it solid, all the icing in the world won't keep it from crumbling."

Those that are successful at swinging get into it to fulfill fantasies. These are the people that can be honest with their spouse about their fantasies and their spouse isn't threatened by them. This is "additional sex".

For more information check out The Swingers Board.

Answer 10

Swinger Horror Stories