should my motherin law take babyto work with her while babysitting my newborn?

Question

my baby is just turned two months old and i am going back to work part time. my mother in law is supposed to baby sit while i am there but she is a real estate agent and wants to take her with her to show houses. I am against this and want to ask her to tell me if she has a showing so i can get a different sitter that that day. she just went and got a carseat which is ok but i feel that she shouldnt be driving around with my newborn while she is babysitting and should only use it for emergencies. she has already told me she wants to show her off to the people at her office and out to eat with friends. my husband thinks all this is fine but i want to cry over it because i just want a sitter that can stay at the home at least until she is older. I am only gone 4 hours what should i do

well i guess my biggest concern is showing the houses with her and not necessarily the driving part. I think that i dont want these complete strangers all over my baby and that my mother in law has a job to do and that is to sell a house. my daughter is not on a schedule yet and what if she needs to eat or be changed while shes showing a house. some houses are empty and everything is turned off because noone lives in them also some people do still live in their houses and i dont know what type of environment they live in. im also concerned about her showing her off to people i dont know. shes my daughter not a dolly. i just dont know. i think her needs can be met better if she was at her home where she can focus on my daughter and not selling houses. also she is in her fifties, has a wonderfully raised son. her only one. and this is her first grandchile. her son is 32 things a different now with taking care of children than they were then. anymore advice

Answer 1

If you can afford a new sitter, get one. If your mother in law has to work while she is sitting, then she will not give the appropriate attention to her babysitting tasks anyway. Your baby deserves to have someones attention for the time that she is babysat.

Answer 2

I would also feel uncomfortable. My dad has epilepsy and has very long blackouts and may end up somewhere not knowing how he got there hours later. Although he is medicated, he still has regular seizures. He does not babysit my daughter alone, and he understands that it is for her safety. It is a hard topic to approach. My dad actually approached me first saying that he would not be comfortable looking after my daughter alone because he was afraid he would have a seizure and wander off leaving her alone. I was lucky he approached me before I had to. In your situation, sit down and discuss with your husband. Realizing that the safety of your child is of the utmost importance is crucial. While you would love your MIL to be a big part of your child's life, the fact that she could have a seizure and lose consciousness is a very real concern. In that event, your child could be in danger left alone. You and your husband have to come to a conclusion together and approach your MIL together. You can't dance around the issue because before you know it your little one will be here. Work it all out now with your husband. Surely he should understand the possible implications of epilepsy and the danger to a newborn. You will have to talk to you MIL in a sweet and loving way and explain that it is not her fault and not because you don't want her involved in your baby's life. It is only for the safety of the child. She should at very least understand that. If this should bring up a family issue, that will be out of your control. Unfortunately, if she is angry or other family members are angry that will have to be their problem. The safety of your child is first and foremost, and your fears are very real and reasonable considering the situation. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 3

You are uncomfortable with your mother-in-law taking the baby with her while she is showing houses. Whatever your reasons are, that should be enough to make your decision.

Personally... our daughter got RSV when she was six weeks old. She had to be hospitalized for two days and have breathing treatments for a month... this was after two days of doctor and ER visits and being told that she didn't have RSV. She couldn't breath laying down. In order for her to breath while sleeping, I had to hold her almost upright for her to be able to sleep. Our daughter has never been in daycare and was born healthy and right on time. She got RSV because we had to go out. She got it because it was RSV season and we were someplace where she picked up the germ.

Babies with RSV can die.

If your mother-in-law can not respect your wishes in regards to something that can affect your child's health, you need to find another sitter.

Alternatively... have you considered staying home with her? You said it's four hours (you don't say if it's per day, or what). Have you sat down and done the math (gas, lunch, childcare, clothing) and seen how much you're really bringing home after all the expenses you have in order to work? I know not everyone feels like staying home is for them, but it's something to consider... if only until you find someone who will repsect your wishes when it comes to your own child.

Good luck.

Answer 4

What exactly is your concern about this? Are you worried she'd get into a car accident or something? If that's the case I think you're being overly concerned, people drive with newborns in carseats all the time, they are designed to keep them safe.

All that aside, the fact remains this is your child. Your wishes in regards to her need to be respected and if your mother-in-law won't you need to find a new sitter.

Answer 5

If you are basing your decsion on how many answers you get one way or the other...I just want to add my two cents.

It is NOT appropriate for your MIL to be taking your new born baby around with her. Not even counting the danger that real estate people can be in(while showing houses to strangers)...think of the different germs and stuff that your baby could be exposed to!! I agree with the others who say...if you can afford it...get your own full time baby sitter!

Answer 6

Your the mother, you make the choice of what is right for her. End of story. I suggest you nicely tell your mother in law how you feel. Let her know if you want that when the baby is a little older then she can bring the baby with her. If she does not respect your decision, I suggest you find other means of child care. If she wants to show the baby off, she can bring pictures.

Answer 7

If you want to get your child on a good schedule or routine, I would suggest finding a different full time sitter. My dad was a realtor and I know how odd those schedules can be. There isn't going to be any routine for your daughter and this is going to make it harder for you in the future.

Get a different sitter full time.

Answer 8

Well maybe you should start looking into babysitters that will stay at your home and take care of your child. At two months old they still can get very sick easily, and that's not good. It would be one thing if your mother in law was taking her shopping or something but not around the public to work, you might as well do that. Your husband is going to think its alright, because its his mother. Your the mother and need to decide what you want her to do, and if she can't follow what you want, find someone else, or tell her the way its going to be.

Answer 9

You are mom it is natural to have those feelings of not wanting to leave. It sounds like Grandma is gettting a little ahead of herself wanting to show baby off too much too quick. If the baby has been with you all this time she should at least wait for the baby to adjust to being with a new person for long periods of time, you. although if this all bugs you too much then it might be a good idea t ofind a new sitter. You are mom what you say goes!!

Answer 10

Your mother in law could show the houses when she not watching your daughter. Let her know that you don't feel comfortable with her driving her all over the place and you would prefer that she would stay put while watching your daughter or you will have to find someone else. If the mother in law wants to show off your daughter she can invite friends to her home.