New to living on my own . . . how to get used to it ?

Question

I'm positive minded, bright attitude with life, yet have never lived on my own, at 50 this is new for me . . . suggestions for help while getting used to it ?

Lived with room-mate when I met my husband to be at 20.

Married at age 23.

Was married 23 yrs.

Peacefully divorced 5 yrs now.

Have three kid (14, 17, 20. . .eldest is off at college)

Kids have always primarily been with me.

In last few weeks, teens made choice to try spending more time with their dad so I allowed them the freedom to explore that so they are with him most of the time now. Don't want to be married to their dad yet he is a good enough dad, kids love him and want to explore more time with him.

While I'm positive minded, value myself and others, generally happy ... living alone is very new and hard to get used to.

And...please no comments about getting a room-mate...want to keep home open for when kids visit me. And, dating...I do so when that comes about...no problems there.

Thoughts ?

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I do have a pet . . . a cat that we've had for 5 years. No dog, I live in a condo.
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I have no 'wobbly bits ' flying around. I'm 50, often mistaken for 35 or 40. In shape, exercise, attractive, bright heart . . . transition is just so hard to get used to since have never lived alone in life. All comments so far are much appreciated.

Answer 1

Routine is always the best way to adjust to any new lifestyle. Find something you enjoy doing, such as puzzles, or crafts, and create a daily routine of working on them. Not the same thing though so you don't get bored or burned out from it. The longer the project takes, the better. Of course exercise is another very good routine to get into. My mom knits blankets for all the kids and grand kids. She get one done about every year or so. She has it down where she works on it twice a week only for an hour at a time. That way she doesn't get burned out by it.

Answer 2

I too am older, and live alone; absolutely enjoy it! Find things to do that you didn't have time for when the kids were growing up. Try reading, sewing, find a new hobby, travel is also great. Most of all, I enjoy being alone after a long day at work! If you're a social person, go out with friends. I absolutely love trying out new restaurants with friends, and maybe a trip to the museum, or taking in a concert. Good luck!

Answer 3

You're experiencing something new that you never have before, of COURSE it's going to be foreign and a little scary for a while. And no offense, but you're old(er) now, and can not adapt to new situations as well as you used to in your 20's-30's. My suggestion (take it or leave it, being that I'm 30 and all) would be to make the most out of it while you still can. Walk around naked! Watch what you want on TV! Dance with your wobbly bits flying around, experience freedom you've never felt before, for once! You still have a 14 year old on the waiting deck and he could make the decision that he wants to be with you instead...your freedom will be gone as quickly as you've gained it. Enjoy it now, while you still have it.

Answer 4

I really think living alone in this day and age not only sucks but is dangerous. There are just too many predators around in the cities. Living alone leaves you open to be a victim it all sorts of ways. Unless you live in a gated community, with a burglar alarm, a cell phone that works, towing insurance and On Star. And there then there is still no guarantees.
If you want to be that alone be a hermit and live in the mountains. But you can't have it both ways.

Answer 5

I am 30 and living alone with my 4 yr old son. I am newly divorced but was separated from my husnband when my son was 7 months old. Living alone is hard hard hard

You will get used to being alone eventually. try and occupy yourself more during your time alone hours like picking up a hobby or doing community services for the less fortunate...

Nothing is more satisfying that knowing you have helped someone...

Answer 6

Your best bet is to get out more... get involved in some sort of club or group... maybe about some hobby, a woman's interest group or political faction... Think of redecorating your home and get involved in planning and setting up a schedule of work for yourself... Invite friends over more often, for lunch, to watch a new movie, coffee, whatever... get involved at your kid's schools... There's a ton of things to keep your mind moving and keep you busy... Then along the way you may run into someone who is in the same boat as you and the two of you may compatible... and it may strike up something... who knows... So get out there and live...

Answer 7

Revel in it!!!

Think about all the things you couldn't do when the kids were around; get out movies they'd laugh at, listen to music that drives them nuts, take long candlelit baths, wander around the house in your birthday suit, eat whatever you want for dinner and whenever you want it. Use all the space in your house, read in the kids rooms, store projects in the dining room...

Invite Friends over for dinner. Invite friends and relatives from far away to come stay with you.

Don't get a pet unless you want one!

Answer 8

The Almighty said is was not good for "man" to be alone. (He wasn't just "whistling Dixie"). Much time can be profitably used in self improvement projects,- studying whatever interests you. As an outgrowth of this, try to contact others with similar interests to A. increase the self-improvement and B. find people who have common interests with whom you can be friends and so fill some of your social needs. (Librarians can likely help steer you to books that might help you)

Answer 9

I read a lot of great ideas given to you, especially about getting a pet. Pets are like having another baby though and they eliminate a lot of travel if you do not wish to board them.

Try church functions. Often the churches have programs just for women. Children may be back before you know it. Sometimes greener pastures aren't greener.

Answer 10

Sounds like you need a hobby...something to occupy your time with now that you seem to have more on your hands. Try your local craft and fabric stores, they offer different classes you might find something that you like there. Do something that you enjoy..is there anything that you hava always wanted to do/learn...well now is the time! Enjoy!

Just adding, I dont think you need a pet...that is just giving you something else to TAKE CARE OF...so something purely selfish!